Questions & Answers

Update: After a lot of discussion, I stayed home. My husband said it would be more of a comfort to have me here with the children then to have me there with him and know the kids weren't going on with their normal routine.
The funeral is today, and I know he is nervous.
We were planning a visit in a few weeks anyhow, so Iw ill see everyone then.
Thanks for your help.

Sorry for your loss. I traveled a lot during my pregnancy--India at 6 weeks, UK at 17 weeks and Mexico at 22 weeks. I just kept myself hydrated and walked around during the flight...it really wasn't bad at all, even the 22 hour flight to India. I had spoken with my OB prior to each trip and had gotten the OK to fly. I followed her recommendations which were to stay hydrated and walk around during the flight. You're in your second trimester and probably feeling the best you will, you should be fine to fly. I think you're the only one that can decide if you want to be at the funeral or not. After losing a parent, I know how much I depended on my husband for support and I know if the scenario was flipped I would want to be there for him. But everyone is different and you have to do what is best for you and your family. Most airlines will give discounted flights if you tell them that you are flying because of a death in the family (but will need death certificate when available).

I flew to Peru around 8 weeks pregnant, and although it was a loooong flight, it didn't make me feel any worse than a regular length flight would. Luckily I wasn't dealing with morning sickness, but being 16 weeks, you are probably past it already too. I think you could probably handle the flight fine (as long as your doctor okays it) and I know I would have to be there for my husband at such a tough time. It will be very hard on him no matter what, and having you by his side will surely help him. This is what marriage is for, supporting each other through thick and thin. Besides, you sound like you want to go, and you should probably follow your gut feeling.

I flew from Germany to Oregon, 5 months pregnant. And all though being pregnant made it a bit more stressful (having to pee every 2 hours and having to get up and walk around to strech my legs) it really wasnt that bad. Just make sure to get up and walk every hour or so... and I would go with your gut feeling. If you have support systems to help with your other children while your gone, and have the funds to go... i would go! Even though your husband says you dont have to go, I think he is just being strong and that he will need you there for support, barrying a parent is a lot harder once you get there and reality sets in... and with you only being 16 weeks and as long as your doctors says it ok! Then go... :)

Ultimately do what you and your children need to help with grieving. But keep in mind the added costs of you going with your husband. As well the impact of the long flights and the time changes on your baby. Before pregnancy I flew to France and found that to be a rough flight.

Being pregnant would complicate it. Sitting for that long impacts the blood pressure and blood flow to legs etc. If you've had any blood pressure changes so far in pregnancy it will be rough. As well the time change would likely worsen morning sickness symptoms so if you have or recently got over that then be ready for more!

As well, when you return you will be exhausted from all the above and you would have 2 children to tend to that would be not only missing you but possibly grieving so possibly won't allow you time to rest and recover.

His family will be fine without you, they will understand your absence. So think about what you need, not what they need.

I think if its something u feel you need to do, then u shld, u don't want to be down the track later regretting not going to say ur good byes or pay ur respects,