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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by Nickyxpp

Q: Live in "Mother in law" is testing my patients. How would you handle this?

She makes comments to my hub like "dont eat so much sugar, when I die no one will be here to care for you" and she makes other little comments that also imply that I am not enough. She made it a point to tell me how much her son loves HER and that he cannot move out of her home. Also, we have only been on one "date" the last few months because she ALWAYS has to come along with us. >:{ I'm so f-ing pissed. I'd like to "correct" her rude behavior, but she doesn't speak or understand English very well. My hub laughs about it and doesn't take me seriously.

So yeah, we live with her. I am due to have our baby in two weeks and hub has busted his butt on the nursery. Which makes me feel guilty because I want to bitch and scream and move out... but... my hub is sweet, hard working, and very attentive to me. He has never even been remotely rude to me even once. I don't want to upset him, I love him that much. but his mother? Im fed up with.

This question was asked Jun. 10, 2013 3:37am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by truestar070 - Nov. 8, 2013 1:27pm
You need to put your foot down and establish clear boundaries. She needs to know her place, don't be afraid to kick some ass if you have to. Good luck

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Answered by kelsamagoo - Jun. 12, 2013 3:32pm
If you have to stay, it may be better just to learn to laugh at her ridiculous behavior. I mean, really, what kind of competition could she possibly be having with you? You're her son's girl, and the mother of his child and she's scrabbling for a dominant position she lost long ago. Find the humor in the situation. It will drive her nuts if she can't get to you or if you just smile indulgently at her antics. Start doing jokes like pointedly inviting her on dates, saying, "We're going out on a date to celebrate how in love we are and practice kissing in the dark movie theater. Did you want to come?" If she says yes, then be overly amorous with your husband. Just show her how ridiculous her behavior is and she'll either back down or get wild over it. If the second, it may help your husband see the problem. If the first, you win. However, you should move out before your child is old enough to need discipline or you might have a situation with her undermining your pare

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Answered by kelliers - Jun. 10, 2013 1:04pm
for a newly married couple to have to live with one of their's mother and that we needed privacy to keep our relationship strong and make it through fertility treatments. We are 10+2 weeks and we haven't told her yet, that's how much we have to separate her from our personal lives. Sometimes you have to set boundaries firm but your husband will have to help as it is his mother. My husband struggles because he feels mean sometimes but he is very, very good about telling his mother when she is being inappropriate and when he no longer wishes to continue a conversation with her because she is being nasty.


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Answered by kelliers - Jun. 10, 2013 1:03pm
My MIL has asked my husband to send her money and not tell me (as if I don't control the finances), she has said he should leave me because she "felt like I was infertile", tells him I'm breaking up the family, blah blah. She has dementia but is functioning enough that there is nothing we can do. She has tried to move in with us several times. I told my husband the day she steps into our house with a bag is the day I move out and send him papers. I absolutely will not live with her. He accepted that, and he listened and understood my arguments for why and found them reasonable. I didn't just say "I don't like her", I explained that we wouldn't have space once a baby came, that she is hyper critical and makes me feel bad and is always telling my husband he should do better and that is not the environment I want to live in, and that anytime anything bad happened (god forbid I miscarried or something) she would immediately blame me. I told him I didn't think it was

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Answered by hopefullll - Jun. 10, 2013 10:30am
I agree with mommy2be. You gotta move out, simple as that. If your DH is as great as you say he is this shouldn't be a problem whatsoever. You are to come before his mom or anyone else for that matter. My DH wanted his mother to live with us for two weeks when our first was born and I said no, that was it and it was never brought up again, and I adore this woman lol, just didn't want anyone around for the first couple of weeks. If it's a matter of finances and you can't really afford your own place then honestly, be super thankful you have this woman in your life that is willing to have you all in her home. If that's the case, try talking to her through your hubby but remember, beggers can't be choosers hon. Good luck with whatever you do!

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Answered by Mommy2Be~ - Jun. 10, 2013 5:56am
I would have a serious talk with him & his mom. Express how you feel. Say what bothers you & how you ALL can work it out. You cannot change his mother. She is set in her way, like most parents. Idk your financial stability but maybe look into renting a house with just your hubby, baby & you. Sounds lie it's just gonna get worse with a baby in the house with her attitude & your hubby brushing you off.

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