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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by JessicaWall11

Q: So Lost, I dont know what to do =( (a little long. need advice)

So as some of you have read in previous posts, my husband and i split. Well he just informed me last night that if the girl hes been friends with for so long was ready for a steady relationship, he would be with her. He told me that he doesnt know if he wants to be with me anymore just wants to stay friends. Im 17 wks and dont know what to do. Im living with my parents. I cant work due to threatened miscarriage. It took me so long to find him. Hes made me laugh, made me feel like a human and not a toy like all the others, and has never once been cruel to me. Hes loved me and I him for 4 yrs, then this. I dont know how to be a single mom, let alone will be able to trust men around my kids that I dont know. I dont know how to survive this. I apologize if this sounds to dramatic.

This question was asked Jul. 31, 2013 4:10pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by mommx3 - Aug. 2, 2013 12:55am
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It just isn't fair is it? Well, no one knows how to be a single mom, so don't worry, you will take it one day at a time and succeed,...if it comes to that. A lot of time men will attempt to assert and exercise their freedom by trying to take control back in their lives like this especially during a time they are scared of commitment or feel trapped. The fantasy is not as good as reality and he will most likely change his mind and come to see what really matters. If he doesn't the best thing you can do is deal with this respectfully and peacefully, and in a weird way lovingly. Because at the end of the day you have yourself and you will feel good about your actions regardless of his. Don;t panic. Stay focused on the moment and when you feel fear, think about positive things you have or want in your life. You will get through this. Remember, everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know what that is yet.

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Answered by Shereenadmir - Aug. 1, 2013 8:04pm
I have been through the same thing with my first pregnancy,the whole pregnancy he broke me, put me down and I was always crying and emotional, but..... Once my son was born he begged for me back and I did take him back to only last 4 weeks, he chose the name was there for the birth but couldn't handle being a dad, so I was once again alone, but the minute he left, I was left with this bundle of joy, and by the time he left I was glad he was gone, I got that special time with my new born and honestly you won't have time to worry about that person who will eventually mean nothing to you, the only problem is sharing your babies time with him, as for true love, it will come again but this guy, is treating you wrong at the time he should be puffing your pillows and that maybe hard to forgive but if he's been cheating then I wouldn't waste on second on him no longer

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Answered by hopefullll - Aug. 1, 2013 12:52pm
First off, I can't imagine what you are going through and my heart goes out to you! Second, you are certainly not alone as there are many women who go through this sort of thing even while pregnant. It's going to suck big time for a while but this too shall pass and eventually I promise you will be a better person for being rid of a man who is, in my opinion, a bum. It's natural for you to only see the good in him but like the other ladies here, I think he is a terrible person to you for doing this. Not for leaving you, because sometimes that just happens, but for falling for another woman while he was with you. You have to know that he was emotionally cheating of you for sometime and that this didn't just come about after you split. Now, does that sound like a great guy? So in reality he HAS treated you like a toy, he HAS been cruel to you, and most importantly he has NOT loved you for 4 years, this emotional affair started a while ago. You will get through this, hugs!

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Answered by Tottie36 - Aug. 1, 2013 11:48am
Being a single mum is lovely,embrace it and enjoy it and one day the right man will come along n sweep you off your feet xx
Don't waste another second on your ex..
As we say in England
Never go back to cold cabbage :)

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Answered by Lou_85 - Jul. 31, 2013 6:54pm
I agree with the others, he is not worth the time of day. He can't have his cake and eat it. You will be a good mum, obviously you have good family support there if your staying with your parents, so that should give you a bit of relief. Please stop thinking about this scum of a human being, you need to concentrate on you and your baby.

You will get through this, you really don't need someone treating you like that no one deserves that. I can say if it was me in that situation I wouldn't want him any where near me or my baby. Sometimes the break and time away will actually make things better. So focus on you and your baby and your health, don't contact him have your space and you never know I think he will come begging :)

Chin up chick x

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Answered by TrulyBlessed101 - Jul. 31, 2013 6:36pm
I agree with the others that you cannot let him toy with your emotions. You can't hang on to hope and stay available for him in case he changes his mind. I think he has been very clear that he is ready to move on. You should do the same. It is time to focus your energy on what will become the most important thing in your life, your baby. Get support from friends and family. You may also want to look into some professional support, such as a counselor or a support group for single mothers. A counselor can help you process your emotions in a healthy way. You can do this. A woman does not need a man in order to be good mother. Try not to stress too much, it is not good for you or your baby. Try to focus on enjoying your pregnancy, it is such a magical time in your life that you will never get back. Let your friends and family help you right now, that's what they are there for. Good luck to you Mama, you will get through this!

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Answered by Quartz3 - Jul. 31, 2013 4:33pm
I agree with the previous poster: he's not worth the heartache. He clearly doesn't wanna work things out with you. Breakups are terribly hard, and I can't imagine how it is to go through this with all the pregnancy hormones whirling around, but you can get through this. It won't be easy, and you'll need help from your friends and family, but it's amazing the things we can do when we have to.

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Answered by kelliers - Jul. 31, 2013 4:20pm
He HAS been cruel to you. That's what he's doing right now and that's what he did when he let your split up when you were pregnant. If he doesn't want to try to make your family work-even if that means counseling-then he isn't worth the heartache. It will be hard and difficult but you will make it through and the love you have for your child will be amazing. Do not let him manipulate you-he has to either commit to you and to making your marriage work or he has to go. None of this friends crap where he can get what he wants from you without having to commit. Don't let that be enough. You deserve better. Just my two cents.

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