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Category: Postpartum

Asked by kelliers

Q: Post-partum visitor question

If you've had babies before, I'm just wondering what it's like having people at the hospital right after delivery, visiting before you're released, and visiting the first week or two. I figured the people there right after will be fine because everyone is so excited and you can sleep after they leave. For visitors at home, I figured they'd call ahead and if we were up to it we'd have them over and if not we wouldn't. My mom will be staying to help for a while and she said I should expect not to want any visitors. That seems kind of harsh-just wondering how it was for you all. Even if you were tired did you appreciate short visits? Did most people help you by bringing a meal or helping with something around the house or did they just stress you out? I hasn't though much about it until my mom brought it up but now I'm thinking it might help if my husband and I have a rough agreement on how we'll manage visitors for a while.

This question was asked Aug. 22, 2013 8:01pm
Category: Postpartum

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Answered by TrulyBlessed101 - Aug. 25, 2013 7:45pm
Right after I had my son, I spent the first hour with just me and my husband in the room. I nursed him, and we used that special time just for us. Babies tend to be most alert right after birth. Then, I allowed friends and family in. By then, I was so tired that I actually took a nap while friends and family passed the baby around. Everyone left when it was time for me to nurse him again. I found that everyone would leave as soon as I said it was time to nurse. My Mom stayed for a little over a week, and was a great help. Friends would drop off food, but only stayed a few minutes. Everyone waited on us to call and invite them over, and no one came unannounced or invited themselves. We were lucky with that. Sometimes family can be pushy though, and you may need to set boundaries for the first week or so. I have some family members that would probably just sit around and mess up my house more if they stayed after the birth, so we asked them to come back and visit a few weeks later.

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Answered by Kimmiecat - Aug. 23, 2013 5:33pm
I enjoyed visitors, both in the hospital and at home.

My parents came in the day before I was due (and I ended up going into labor that night.) They waved us off to the hospital. They came to visit in the middle of the day during labor. Dad stepped out of the room for my cervical check. They both left when it turned out I was 5cm dilated. Baby was born an hour later. A couple friends came by while we were still in delivery. A couple others came by over the next 2 days. Everyone called or texted first.

My in laws came in a couple days after we were home ad overlapped my parents a couple days then were here with us for a few days. We also had a couple friends come by the house and have a couple scheduled for this weekend. (Baby is 2 weeks old today!) My best friend is flying in from Texas next weekend.

Basically, I've loved having visitors. But all of ours have been wonderful. I think it depends on how helpful or boundary stomping they are.

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Answered by KenpoMommy - Aug. 22, 2013 8:48pm
After two babies, I've found it really depends on the visitor. Some people are great whenever and some are just a pain in the butt! My husband and i put out an overall request to everyone to call first before visiting, in the hospital and at home, but then we let a few people know privately that they were welcome anytime. We found though, that everyone called before they came by. They were all pretty careful about not bothering us too much. I think it depends on how your delivery goes too. With my first, I was really wiped out from a horrible delivery and emergency surgery so I really wasn't up to seeing anyone. With my second though, it went much smoother and i looked forward to people visiting. I would use the time that people came over to get other things done, like showering. lol People are usually only too happy to hold the baby while you do something else. Especially grandmas!

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Answered by ToniiMaii - Aug. 22, 2013 8:12pm
When I had my little girl I had only the people who were in the room when I actually gave birth see me after and then the next day I had only my partner and my mum visit me, I was only in for one day so everyone visited me at home where I felt most comfortable x

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