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Category: Labour & Delivery

Asked by mariedl

Q: Crunch Time and Scared - Birthing Experiences?

Alright, so I'm having a moment of weakness at 40w4d and was wondering if those who have had a vaginal delivery could bare a bit of their soul for a moment and share their experience(s)?

There are a few people I work with who frequently share information, like "your bladder will never be the same", "sex will never be the same", etc. The closer I get to going into labor, the more these stories stick out and I get scared - I find myself secretly hoping for a C-section to avoid these apparently unavoidable prices of a vaginal birth.

So, I guess I'm asking - How much did your body change "down there" after a vaginal delivery (bladder, rectum, vagina, etc.)? Does a vaginal birth 100% mean damaged bladder, fecal incontinence and horrible sex-life forever?

This question was asked Oct. 9, 2013 5:25pm
Category: Labour & Delivery

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Answered by kelliers - Oct. 10, 2013 10:18pm
Ah I thought you might have already delivered a beautiful baby by now!! Hang in there :) Hopefully baby will come soon!!

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Answered by mariedl - Oct. 10, 2013 3:59pm
Thank you all so much for your honesty in sharing! And Kelliers, even though you don't have one (yet!), I do appreciate being reminded that our bodies were made for this...it's very easy to forget, especially with people sharing their "advice" for what happens after. I think you're right about people sharing their bad experiences in order to make themselves feel better about their experience.

Again, thank you all. I honestly feel better after reading everyone's posts. I know everyone's experience is unique and I can't expect similar outcomes (good or bad), but I do feel more confident that the odds are with me for a more favorable outcome than a bad one.

Now I just have to come to terms with the fact that I have an induction date schedule for next week if he doesn't come on his own! :-)

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Answered by KenpoMommy - Oct. 10, 2013 3:11am
I had a rough delivery with my first one, consisting of a very large episiotomy, hours of pushing and severe blood loss. It was painful recovering from the episiotomy, i think it was 14-15 stitches total, but once everything was fully healed, i've never had any problem with any kind of incontinence or problems with sex. My second baby was a full 2 lbs bigger and i had even less issues with healing. My dh says he doesn't notice any difference during sex. He says it actually feels tighter, probably because of all the kegels i did recovering! lol A friend of mine had extremely bad tearing all the way through the rectum during her first delivery, requiring reconstructive surgery to repair, (she's very little) and she still came through it fine after everything was healed. No problems with incontinence or sex. Your body can take alot, but it's somewhat genetically predetermined too. Ask your mom how she fared after, it tends to be similar. My experience was very much like my mom's.

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Answered by Maybebaby - Oct. 10, 2013 1:12am
I found not thinking about labour negatively also helped, it's only going to scare u thinking like this. Everytime a negative or scary "what if" pops into ur head, quickly invision seeing ur newly born babe, and hearing it cry, I'm sure these beautiful thoughts will give u the strength to do wat u can already do :-)

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Answered by Maybebaby - Oct. 10, 2013 1:07am
I had a vaginal birth with no pain meds, I was induced so it was very painful, I found the transition phase the part that hurt the most, pushing felt good it felt like stretching a cramped muscle, it hurt but was relieving, My bladder works fine still, my jay-jay took a little while to feel normal again, have never had a c section, but I believe our body was made to do this, if urs can do it, definatly do it. I got nervouse before labour but I was determined to "earn" my right to be a mummy, and welcomed the experience, I just kept chanting, "I am a woman and I can do this!!!!!" My daughter was still born so our pregnancy and labour were the only things we ever got to share, I think to birth naturally is a gift and we r blessed to experience it. U can do it believe in urself and trust ur body :-)

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Answered by tasha* - Oct. 9, 2013 8:19pm
Having had both I would say vaginal birth all the way!!! Yes it did take a while for my 'fufu' to not feel really sore but not as long as it did my section scar. My bladder is fine but my bum squeezing muscles (oh god cant believe im writing this!!) aren't what they used to be when doing a number 2 (I cant squeeze no more).

Yes vaginal birth bloomin hurts im not going to lie but then its over bam............not 9-12 weeks later like a section would be.

To be honest im totally gutted of yet again missing out on a wonderful experience of giving birth due to another section being needed. Sounds strange but enjoy, it is a beautiful if painful experience :)

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Answered by eag923 - Oct. 9, 2013 7:34pm
the same as it was before you got pregnant? No, there will be a few changes, but the majority have already happened before you give birth. Besides, you are going to be so in love with your little one you're not going to notice those little prices we pay for bringing another human being into the world!

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Answered by eag923 - Oct. 9, 2013 7:32pm
Let me give you the perspective from a C section delivery: the recovery is much, much more difficult on you than a vaginal birth! Trust me. Is it horrific? Not at all, so if you do HAVE to have one, don't freak out. It is just much easier on your body to push the baby out the way nature intended. My deliveries will always be surgical bc my pelvis has NO opening. No opening so no way out for baby. It is the only way that I can give birth, so thank God for modern medicine! I didn't have a vaginal delivery, but is my bladder the same? Nope. That's just from being pregnant, not necessarily the delivery. Am I walking around needing a diaper? Nope, I just can't hold it as long as I could pre-baby. As for your vagina, trust me, it will be just fine. Everyone I have ever asked have said that they have never noticed a difference and their husbands have said the same. Ignore the horror stories. The vast majority of women can have a safe, healthy vaginal delivery. Will your body be

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Answered by kelliers - Oct. 9, 2013 6:17pm
*You can do it! Also there are some beautiful birth stories if you google "Bradley method birth stories". http://www.bradleybirth.com/BirthStories/BirthStories.aspx
There are a few that I thought were inspiring.

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Answered by kelliers - Oct. 9, 2013 6:16pm
I can't help you as I'm still about 12 weeks out but I would like to say this-your body was meant to give birth. it's can be very empowering to remember that there is no reason you would be designed to not be able to do so. I've talked to my mom (who had four with no meds) and my aunt (two with no meds) and they said that people who had bad experience (either medication slowed labor or created a complication or they weren't prepared and couldn't relax and let their body work) tend to exaggerate those things or like to tell other women that they will suffer misfortunes due to labor because they don't like to think that other can do it differently (and more peacefully) than they did. You may have some bladder looseness at first but do your kegels and all should tighten up just fine! A c-section is major surgery and means you won't get to be with your baby right away! It is in no way "easier" and can have serious complications and repercussions itself. Hang in there! You

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