Questions & Answers

Whoa! Thanks so much for all the ideas! I will def be looking into them;) Thanks ladies

I agree with the squatting...that helps a bunch. My daughter was large (9lbs. 10.8 oz and 21.5" long). I had an epidural, a regular one not the walking one, and could feel enough to push for sure. I only needed 2 internal stitches and none on the outside. I wouldn't have needed any if she didn't hand her hand up by her face when she came out. So you don't always tear, even with big babies and my doctor didn't even mention an episiotomy. Just talk to your nurse or doc about what can help with delivery as you are concerned about tearing. They should be able to give you some good ideas about what can help. :) Good luck to you!

I tore with my son... I actually had a fit and told my OB that I REFUSE an episiotomy, lol. That last month of pregnancy I would stretch my perineum in the shower, so I would be ready to go, lol. I don't think that worked because my dear OB just let me tear. Honestly, I didn't even notice. I went natural but ended up getting the epidural very late (at 7 cm!), which only worked about half way. I felt contractions and a little pain after that. I felt myself pushing too, but I was pretty much numb from any pain down there. When my OB told me she had to stitch me up because I tore a little, I was surprised and just carefree by then, I didn't feel that at all. I'm a big chicken with doctors and am terrified again with this pregnancy, but I guess its only natural to be afraid of the unknown. I will definitely refuse the episiotomy again.

In addition to the massage is to just squat a lot. Seriously. Whenever you can, get into a squatting position with your feet flat and stay as long as you can. Also, the "walking epidural" mentioned in a previous comment if you do opt for one is a good thing to request because you can feel when you're pushing enough to have more control over how fast baby comes out. I'm sure there are other exercises on the internet you can do to stretch things out.

I'm expecting my first child in April and have been told to gently massage oil into the perennium to keep it supple and help with stretching during labour. My sister in law had a tear in her 2nd labour and needed surgery to sew the muscles together they'd torn so badly, another friend also had issues with tearing as after being sewn up they'd done it wrong so had to have surgery later to rectify it! In the UK they prefer to cut as this generally heals better

As I'm in my mid 30s, I have known a lot of women to have babies. They have all had epidurals, and whether they tore or had an episiotomy, the pain was minor and the recovery was quick. If you do decide to use an epidural, you can always request that they give you a low dose of medication. With my epidural, I was able to move my legs, and had full sensation so I was able to feel every contraction and push accordingly. I just didn't feel "pain." So, if you do decide to go the route of pain medication, please don't be afraid that you're going to have a horrible rip or tear that takes months to heal. Of all the vaginal births I have been to, mom has been up and walking around fairly pain free within hours of the birth. Besides, like kelliers said, the baby is a wonderful distraction from all the after effects of child birth!

I had to get cut with my first because the epidural they gave me numbed me so much that I couldn't push and they had to vacuum her out. It was very painful and then for about 2 years after I would spot every time I would have sex. I'm scared for this delivery too. Trust me just because I've had one does not prepare me for a second. I'm scared as shit that something will go wrong with this lil girl or that it could go wrong in the delivery room. Fear is normal. If you tear it'll be ok, they usually heal super quick.

Also, with natural deliveries you can be in positions that allow you to open your pelvis and stretch your perineum better, like squatting, since you are able to move your legs. In general, though, however you decide to deliver it's very unlikely you will have a difficult time recovering from the delivery and in no time all will be back to normal! Your beautiful baby will be a nice distraction for the first few days if you're really sore.

That all depends on how you deliver. If you have an epidural, the rate is between 15-25% depending on the hospital that you will get an episiotomy which is worse for healing that a tear. That's because the skin has a clean cut it has to mend instead of a tear where the muscle still "fits" back together like a puzzle. If they don't do the episiotomy, you may tear a little but they generally heal fast. The odds of a bad tear are low because they will cut you before it comes to that. With the epidural the use of forceps or vacuum are more common and those can leave a bigger cut. If you have a natural delivery, at my clinic tearing is uncommon and episiotomies are rare. The tears they do see are usually very small and heal fast. They only perform an episiotomy if they think the tear would be worse than the cut. The reason it's much easier to avoid tearing without the meds is that your body can feel what is happening better and adjust to let you stretch.