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Category: Labour & Delivery

Asked by Ilove40

Q: How do I tell my mom I want a private birth?

My mom has been present in the delivery room during all 3 of my previous deliveries from my previous marriage...because my ex was not very supportive.

This time around, I know for certain my boyfriend is going to be an AMAZING birth partner!!! I am so excited about this and really want it to just be the two of us in the delivery room.

I'm only 7 weeks, but my mom has already insisted on being in the room during the birth, and was shocked when I said that I really wanted a private birth this time, but didn't want to hurt her feelings...her reply was snarky and she seemed pretty upset..."If YOU ask me not to be in there, then I won't be."

She hasn't ever seemed supportive of my current relationship (unhappy about my divorce) and seemed to insinuate that HE didn't want her in the room, but it's not just him and I don't know if she would ever believe that.

Any advice? Please help!!!

This question was asked Jul. 23, 2014 1:22pm
Category: Labour & Delivery

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Answers (5)

Answered by Papas~Mama - Jul. 31, 2014 9:48pm

Despite other people's opinions, this is a very very personal choice, and if you want only you and your bf in there, that is 100% your choice. She'll get over it, and as you wrote your concern so nicely, I'm sure you'll find a nice diplomatic way to re-iterate your wishes to her. However, keep an open mind - who knows what strange things may happen the day you give birth; maybe he won't make it to the hospital in time and she'll already be there...?...you never know...;)

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Answered by Melc2808 - Jul. 27, 2014 6:32am

I get that your new boyfriend is really supportive and that is so great but whats wrong with having both of them in there? Its up to you as its your delivery but my husband is 100% supportive and wonderful but I still plan on having my mom there. Its nice having another woman in the room that knows what you want and how you want to birth. Also could be a great support for your boyfriend if he's never been through it before.

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Answered by firsttimemommy1120 - Jul. 24, 2014 1:40pm

Its your birth and when it comes down to it you have to stand up for what YOU want, even if it hurts her feelings. Try to explain hoe you feel, if she doesn't get it...well, that's really all you can do. I'm in a similar position, this is my first baby and my mom is dead set on being there but I only want it to be me my husband and my doula. I have come to the decision to not tell anyone when I go into labor, that way their isn't the pressure of knowing she's in the waiting room mad that I wont let her in while I labor.

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Answered by maggie22 - Jul. 23, 2014 9:37pm

well you have already told her, she should respect your decision.

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Answered by Sianny - Jul. 23, 2014 6:04pm

You've told her your wishes and if she's chooses to be unsupportive of your choice then that is her problem. You can continue to be civil and not rise to her sarky remarks. She may just be a little hurt but this is a small issue that she will get over I'm sure.
As long as she knows you have a supportive partner with you then she shouldn't fuss.
Maybe you can find a middle ground like inviting her to wait outside to be the first one in? This is just my view and I'm sure other ladies will have better ideas at a middle ground lol.
This is time to think about what you want, not how to please other people. x Good luck

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