Questions & Answers

Thanks MsNat. I do have several coworkers who know the situation, and have been very helpful in helping me figure out my options. The thing that is frightening me is that he has a very wealthy father, and if we separate, his dad will make it look to the courts like he doesn't make enough money to do a large child support. It's just really frustrating. And we don't talk about it. He is assuming that I will just go have the abortion, and I'm kind of stuck, because I want another baby, I want this baby. It's been a stressful few days, and our poor daughter is picking up on it, and acting out. I am speaking with a therapist/life coach person on Monday to kind of talk it out with someone who isn't involved in the situation and can give me a non involved opinion, etc.

Anyways, thanks everyone for your comments and support - it's nice to hear ideas from other people.

P.s if you choose to have this baby he will still have to pay child support for two children so he will be no better off..

Hun you sound like you have the world on your shoulders right now. As much as we can give you the information or try and help you in some way it is at the end of the day your life and your decision that matters. I didn't want to be disrespectful to your husband but he clearly has no idea how this is affecting you. You are now in limbo and have no idea where to turn. How do you feel? Do you want this baby? And what's more important for you. If you answer questions like these and questions that take your feelings into account then you may be able to work out what is best for you. No man should ever make you choose.. don't do anything you don't want to. It's just not fair.. but like I've said you have to think of what is best for you.. you have been together for 10 years and if he is so ready to leave then he obviously isn't taking your feelings into account. Msg me if you like hun. I'd hate to think your alone and have no one to talk to x

I wish it was just as easy as him getting used to it. Yesterday he told me several times that if I chose to continue the pregnancy, he would be leaving and filing for divorce. If he leaves, I will be losing everything. 80% of our financial support comes from his trust fund/gifting from his father. I will lose my car, my father in law probably won't pay for our daughter's day care anymore, I will have to move to a very small 1 bedroom (we currently live in a 2br condo), and move my daughter's day care/ school, because I wont be able to afford to keep her where she is on my own.

I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for almost 8- I feel like I'm stuck in a rock and that I have literally no options. I'm so upset and confused, I've literally stopped my life to be with and support my husband; I stopped going to school, so he could go back, I worked 2 jobs for 2 years while he went to USC to get his teaching degree, only to have him stop 1 semester short. Its a HUGE mess!

The lack of control line is normal for the gestational age =) Mine looked like that around 5 weeks with my daughter, and with this pregnancy I stopped testing by then lol.

My hubby wasn't happy about this pregnancy. He didn't get upset (because I was) but he did make some comments about how I should have told him I was close to ovulating blah blah blah lol. This is after he told me last month that /he/ keeps track of my cycle and knows when our "unsafe zone" is. Whatever. He's getting used to the idea now and so am I =) I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow and it's literally just sinking in now that we are having another baby, I was seriously in shock.

I agree with MissNat. I am sorry you are going through this, it sounds like you were shocked also. Add in the hormones and it is probably rough. I think he was just shocked and needs some time to come to terms with it. He is probably doubly shocked because you weren't ttc. However, planned or unplanned, he will be excited about your new addition and will love the baby. I am sure once it has some time to sink in you will be able to sit down and have a discussion about what you are both feeling.

Early on in my pregnancy, I would sometimes feel like my husband wasn't as excited as I was about us being pregnant. I think it is harder for them to get as excited as we do early on because they don't have the connection we do from day one, and they are automatically thinking about money and how we are going to afford everything. As I get further along I can see him getting more excited and it is sinking in for him that he is going to be a daddy and it melts my heart to see how happy he is.

Aww hun, bless you to have to go through this. I'm not surprised you can't concentrate at work. You know what though there is never a great time to have another child however I'm pretty sure your husband flipped out because it's a man's role and job to want to provide for you and your family. I can imagine that he is scared right now as much as you are. Once the shock has passed and he calms down he will start to think more rationally. You are married and clearly love one another and he will calm down and you can both have a conversation about it.
I'm pretty sure you wasn't expecting this outcome and is a shock to you also. Just give it a little time hun. True decent men will worry about their families and worry to provide it's only natural for them. Just trying to reassure you. It a very delicate situation. I hope I have helped in some way though