‘Did you pee your pants again mum?’

Posted on September 23rd, 2011. Written by .

I’m sitting on the couch next to my husby and I said “I always have trouble knowing where to start these things” So this is how I’m starting it. Started.

I am 32 weeks and 3 days and in the last week I have been in an ambulance and in hospital for 3 days and found an odd jelly like substance in a place I didn’t want to find it.

I’ll start at the beginning. I woke up Saturday morning at 7am, well I was actually woken up by these stabby achey pains in mah belleh. So I though oh I’ll get up and walk around the house and then they will go away, not thinking at all that they were contractions. I wondered back to bed where they didn’t go away. So I called my trusty friend Laura Loo and she said she thinks I should call the midwife. So I did. GOSH. So then I spend ALL day Saturday hooked up to this machine that checks your baby’s heart beat and the contractions which were small but there.

In that time I vomited twice, once in some metal bucket a good hearty looking amount of coco pops… good catch Shaun and then another good catch by mid-husband David after he gave me antibiotics and a needle, I gave him pasta. I’m a vomiter. It’s what I do.

They gave me steroids for the baby’s lungs and some lady came in and tilted the bed almost upside down so she could stick her head in my vagina and have a good look. Apparently I have a soft cervix and its short… about 1 cm. I’m glad her hands were warm. She told me the baby was one of the most active babies shes ever seen. I think he was just trying to impress her.

So anyway, they put me in an ambulance to the bigger hospital, quite unnecessary I thought, had a nice chat with the man in there and then I spent Saturday, and Sunday night in there. They woke me up all the time and just did nursey things. Fed me awful food, but least the orderlys were mostly good looking young men… haha.

So then I went home on Monday afternoon. Relaxed had some pretty intense braxton hicks and ended the day well I didn’t die but I went to bed.

On Tuesday I took my son to school (necessary information?) and then after we went to the shops. I needed to wee (naturally) and it felt a little mooshy down there so off we went to wee. Well I was surprised because I got in there and there was something there I didn’t expect to see. A glob. A Damn GLOB. And I said this out loud “What? NOOOO, couldn’t be” and my son says “What mum, did you pee your pants again?” HA HA HA. Funny kid I say.

So I go to the doctors the next day and he informs me that its my mucus plug that’s fallen out and says I need to rest. REST and NO SEX at least until I’m 37 weeks if I get that far he says… Now that was awkward because I’m pretty sure I looked more disappointed than I meant to… I had to cover up my disappointment face. No SEX. Pfft. No sex. Shaun’s been better at maintaining that than me. No I didn’t.

So THEN I was sitting at IKEA and the mid-husband calls and I get this GREAT big lecture about how I need to REST REST REST and not do ANYTHING he was so stern with me I felt so guilty and I had to pretend I wasn’t out shopping. Oh and he also said “NO SEX”… I might just put it on a t-shirt, it will say “I’m not having sex, DO NOT worry”.

Anyway. So now I’m on some kind of bed rest. It feels so unnecessary because I feel generally ok. Just the occasional pain and tightening. No house work, and No wondering around places for hours… its become clear to me I’m not that sure what I’m not allowed to do. Like, can I put washing in the machine? Can I make dinner for the family? Oh I know I can’t have SEX. But yeah I am aware that the mid-husband and doctor know best and I have to listen to them.

I’m sitting here, and its not sinking in that this baby could come anytime in the next few weeks or he could amaze everyone… including the doctors and stay in till hes due. But there could be a baby here very soon. And from the stabs I’m getting to my cervix I feel it may be sooner than later. I don’t feel ready to be a mum again. Tosh is so self sufficient now, I only have to feed him. What on earth will I do with a newborn?

I have to go pee. I think I’m allowed to go pee.




This entry was posted on Friday, September 23rd, 2011 at 2:16 pm and is filed under Up The Duff Without a Paddle.
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About the Author:

My name is Antanika Holton and I'm up the Duff! I was born and raised in South Australia, had my first son Tosh when I was 20 years old and married my YouTube Rockstar Husband Shaun (Projected Twin) in November last year! We've settled into a happy little coastal town called Goolwa and are EXTREMELY excited to be awaiting the arrival of our first child together and Tosh's first little brother or sister! We had been trying to conceive since the middle of 2010 and unfortunately had to go through the ordeal of 2 early term miscarriages. BUT! We're in the clear and I'm here to count down to our beautiful baby with you!

2 Responses »

  1. I should hope you are allowed to pee. Haha. Good god, what would we do with ourselves otherwise <3

  2. Hahaha. Its getting hard to pee though with all that pressure down there! Im thinking of giving it up all together! xx

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