Log In | Sign Up Now | Help & Support

Pregnancy Discussion Forum

Recent Forum Activity
Forum Categories
Start a New Topic Hide Signatures

OB doubtful that I will forego epidural

Category: Trimesters - Third Trimester
Posted by PawMomma » Feb. 18, 2012 2:18am

I am almost 33 weeks and at my OB appt this week, I let her know I attended the birth class and hospital tour. I told her that I plan on trying to go without an epidural. I like the idea of having control of my body and being able to move and adjust during labor contractions. She then went on to tell me that "It's the 21st century, you don't HAVE to be in pain". She said that I will still feel "pressure" with an epidural so I will still have "control". She also said "You don't know what kind of pain labor is and will probably want an epidural" She basically told me that she doesn't want me to be "too tired" to push when the time comes from being in pain from contractions. It was incredibly discouraging, but I have a supportive husband who will do anything for me and help me manage pain/discomfort and be there the whole time. Also, none of my female family members have ever had epidurals (don't know if a high pain threshold is genetic or we just pop out babies well, LOL). I guess if I could do it all over again, I would have gone to a midwife, because my doc pretty much laughed in my face when I said I don't want an epidural.


PawMomma
Posts: 18

Replies (17)

Reply by knicole27 » Feb. 18, 2012 2:37am

It's a sign of the times. Every doctor wants to instill that fear in you that you CANT do it. If you believe in your mind you can do it... you can indeed do it. She is trying to break you down mentally on purpose so you will get the epidural. Hospital births now a days are all about not getting a lawsuit and trying to get you in and out. I am sure most OB's have rarely even preformed a natural child birth in this day and age and its VERY sad to me. I say stick to your guns girl. Know in your mind YOU can do it. The women in your family did it just fine and so can you. It's awesome you have your husband too as a cheer leader of sorts. He is going to need to be there to calm you and keep you focused and not stressed about them wanting to give you drugs.

I personally am planning on having a doula with me during labor for this reason. I want to go as long as I can without an epidural because to be honest with you.. it's the drugs that scare me much more than pain as this is my first child as well but yes the only thing that really has me anxious is the hospital setting and the pain meds... Good luck! take what she said with a grain of salt... She is an OB.. they are trained to preform surgeries more so than that in natural childbirth.


User Image
User Image

knicole27
Posts: 584

Reply by PawMomma » Feb. 18, 2012 2:52am

Thanks for the encouragement! The idea of a needle/catheter being stuck in my spine freaks me out way more that birthing a baby without meds.

I forgot to mention my OB also said "You know you are passing something the size of a bowling ball through a space 'THIS' small" (then she held up a circle with her thumbs/index fingers) . . . I thought "umm. . . babies are a little softer/more malleable than a bowling ball"


PawMomma
Posts: 18

Reply by kawaimichiko » Feb. 18, 2012 3:01am

I guess every OB is different... my OB is from china and he is amazing. I had to search for him after I ditched another OB though.


kawaimichiko
Posts: 156

Reply by knicole27 » Feb. 18, 2012 3:06am

That would have annoyed the crap out of me! and you are so right i mean yeah sure the whole baby head and body is the size of a bowling ball but the head is the hardest part and the head is not the size of a bowling ball and they are fleshy yes much more malleable than a freaking bowling ball!

I am sure she will bring it up again to try to scare you because you have never given birth before but believe in yourself and know you can do it. Gosh I wish I can go a the whole delivery without drugs that would be my ideal. I have heard the bond and high that you get afterward is unlike any other and its harder to feel that when your drugged out. Not only that but epidural slows the progression of labor. I am being realistic and saying there is a possibility I may get an epi.. but.. I just want to wait as long as I possibly can. I am even going to try to labor at home as long as I can.. as long as my water does not break obviously.

Your way ahead of me so.. your going to have to keep me posted on how things go. :)


User Image
User Image

knicole27
Posts: 584

Reply by knicole27 » Feb. 18, 2012 3:07am

Thats what I was gonna say too.. is it too late to try and find a different one!??!


User Image
User Image

knicole27
Posts: 584

Reply by PawMomma » Feb. 18, 2012 3:20am

At this point, I feel like it's late to go with another OB, I did confirm with her "It's up to me if I want drugs/epidural, right?" and she said yes, no one can "force" me to get an epidural, but she also scoffed at the idea of a "birth plan". . . she told me if I want to write one I can bring it to my appointment, and she can go over what is "realistic" . . .also my husband just lost his job and we are kind of in insurance limbo for the next week and a half. (great time for this to happen, right?)


PawMomma
Posts: 18

Reply by kawaimichiko » Feb. 18, 2012 3:28am

Insurance limbo is not good :( have you signed up for medicaid?


kawaimichiko
Posts: 156

Reply by PawMomma » Feb. 18, 2012 3:37am

Yeah, I signed up. I qualify, but not until March 1st (since my husband is getting a severance check--we don't qualify until then). . .even though the insurance has already been terminated. . . gotta love the healthcare system.


PawMomma
Posts: 18

Reply by esperanza » Feb. 18, 2012 1:20pm

It's very strange to have a reaction like this from your doctor. I had all my three children without epidural. With the youngest I actually chickened out and told my doc that I might take it easy and go with epidural and it was my doctor who reassured and encouraged me (you're strong, healthy, you can do it) to go without epidural.

btw, talking about sizes-my youngest one was 9lbs 2oz and I didn't have a tear. Human bodies are not balls and holes - they are truly AMAZING

good luck


esperanza
Posts: 86

Reply by jkg9510 » Feb. 19, 2012 12:50am

How discouraging. My doctor told me due to high BP issues that I will most likely be induced, meaning a harder labor, meaning I will want an epi, which will slow my labor, which means I'll have a c-section! Its like she looked into her crystal ball and saw the future. I was so crestfallen. Also, she hasn't talked to me about diet changes or meds or bedrest to lower my BP, just that I'll need to be induced, no further action needed. Also she said that someone gave her a 25 page birth plan which she thought was "ridiculous." I love my doctor but I am disappointed in her lately. If I were you, I'd consider a doula. They help you keep your backbone when you are too tired to remember where you put yours. Good luck, you can do it! Our bodies were made to birth!


Katie
User Image

jkg9510
Posts: 106

Reply by PawMomma » Feb. 19, 2012 4:49am

Wish I could afford a doula at this point, but gonna have to go with my hubby for support, my strong will and attitude. . . since we are on a tight budget and have to rely on insurance for all medical costs, we can't really diverge from hospital birth. However, the hospital at least provides different birthing balls, birthing bars and rocking chairs, etc . . . so at least I will have some tools at my disposal


PawMomma
Posts: 18

Reply by kawaimichiko » Feb. 20, 2012 3:34am

Pawmomma... seriously it's your body, your baby and your choice. People will scoff at anything, breastfeeding and cloth diapering included.
Katie... on a more positive note for you, if you do end up using epidural, it does drop your BP considerably so c-section might be less of an option if you are less stressed and able to keep your BP down. Just a thought though.


kawaimichiko
Posts: 156

Reply by jkg9510 » Feb. 20, 2012 2:29pm

Thanks kawai! I've been trying to do research on BP/induction /epi but its hard to find unbiased info. It seems everyone has extreme opinions on either side of the fence and no one can just simply break down pros and cons and let you make up your own mind on interventions. I think we should invent birth advocates/ educators that give you info and no opinion! Wouldn't it be nice if doctors did this lol?


Katie
User Image

jkg9510
Posts: 106

Reply by kawaimichiko » Feb. 20, 2012 6:36pm

Katie... I agree. Unfortunately modern medicine = well paid legal drug pushers esp in the US lol.


kawaimichiko
Posts: 156

Reply by angelanna » Mar. 13, 2012 7:27pm

Just puttin my 2 cents in lol, i just left my doctor for the same reason he does not believe any woman should go without an epidural, and even has told his patients they have to get one, well i switched to a midwife and have my 1st appt today, i think you have to be comfortable where you go.....now i have had epidural 4 times and 1 natural birth, natural for me was way easier but with my natural i ended up having episotemy (??) so have got epidural after since just because of the pain i went through, now with this baby i do indeed plan going natural if i can , but am open to the idea of epidural if needed, really epidural or not, you will still be tired out!! Motherhood alone is tiring and labor doesn't last forever, i think just being able to go through it is a gift from God and if we choose to go natural why cant we , unless we are at high risk or something but either way you will have some pains even if is a c section we cant escape labor pains at all 100%! As a doctor though he should respect his patients decisions, that is why i switched over, i want my decisions respected, especially when it comes to my body, my child, my plan..not to mention my last epidural i had terrible back pain and feet pain for DAYS like walking on needles. . so goes to show even with pain meds , the pain meds alone can cause more pain than a birth,,my experience anyways! :p good luck girl!!!!!



angelanna
Posts: 23

Reply by Runoliver » Feb. 14, 2013 9:56pm

I had a natural delivery with my first, no epidural. I totally support your decision! In my experience, the OB wasn't even around during the active labor, so it's really the nurses on duty who will be the ones talking to you about your birth plan and pain treatment. My doctor basically showed up at the end to catch the baby, and luckily I had wonderful nurses who respected my wishes and didn't try to push me in any different direction.

Not that this is always an option, but if you labor at home longer, and show up at the hospital when you are full-on in labor, there is less of a window for the doctor/staff to influence you to get the epidural.


Runoliver
Posts: 5

Reply by Aprilgirl » Mar. 8, 2013 9:40pm

I agree, definitely your body and your choice! But to be the devil's advocate I can kind of understand where your doc is coming from.
There's a real resurgence of natural birthing these days and it's a BRILLIANT thing! But at the same time there are a lot of women out there who go through unnecessary stress and pain because they don't want to have an epi and then end up having an emergency c-section because they're too tired at the end to push.

I'll I'm saying is stick to your guns and be strong on your decision but don't close yourself off entirely to the idea of having an epi if you need it.
The reason I say that is because I got to 9.5cm dilated and was practically ready to push but because I didn't have it in me I ended with an emergency c-section. I was very disappointed in myself for a long time but I had to realise eventually that I did what I could. I went ALL THAT WAY with no drugs. No gas, no pethidine, no nothing. But because of that I was too tired at the end to do the last part. I felt cheated in a lot of ways.
If I'd had the epi with an hour or so to go I would have been rested enough to do the last part myself. It could have ended in an emergency c-section anyway (a lot of times it does) but I've had had a chance rather than none.

*hugs* Hope you get the birth you want. Just be strong and remember that things can happen that you don't expect.


Aprilgirl
Posts: 6