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Having a hard time.

Category: General - Newly Pregnant
Posted by APHBOD » Dec. 21, 2014 2:26pm

I just found out I am pregnant a few days ago. We have both wanted a baby for a long time and even though we could be in a lot better situations financially etc we are happy to be having a baby.

But at work, or basically any time I am not around my partner, I find myself sinking into sadness. I feel sick all of the time. I am always battling a combination of exhaustion, nausea/vomiting, headache, little abdominal cramps/tweaks, sore breasts, weird tingly/sore nipples, not to mention the sadness, anxiety, guilty feelings. I am also a nicotine and caffeine addict, so am experiencing horrible withdrawal from both, I have had the odd half a smoke (filtered roll-up)when stressed at work or just can't take the anxiety of craving, but I will be getting gum and patches in a day or two so hope to cut that entirely. I just feel awful all of the time. I always thought I would feel good about being pregnant again. Like some fuzzy maternal thing would kick in. And I feel awful that I don't.

This is my second pregnancy- I had one in college when I was 17, but miscarried very early. I know this is common enough for pregnancy #1 especially so young, so I am mostly not worried but these anxieties creep in sometimes too.

I guess I need to hear from someone who felt like this at the start but started to feel better. Any tips? For mood, or sickness, or anything else?

Posts: 5

Replies (2)

Reply by Heathernnsb29 » Dec. 22, 2014 12:43pm

I felt the same way! I think once you start to feel better your mood will change. I spent weeks on the couch sick and unhappy. Once I started to feel better my mood changed. Hang in there! It gets better!

Posts: 85

Reply by JaxyBoBaxy » Dec. 22, 2014 3:30pm

Well, I hope you kick the smoking habit, definitely! What helped my grandmother, who was a chain smoker since she was 14, was actually knitting and regular sugar-free gum chewing. She didn't knit anything useful, actually she just had this silly circle with a point in the middle. She said keeping her hands busy helped her quit smoking. She also laughed about the wads of gum she would shove in her mouth. Still cheaper than cigarettes though.

I am living with PTSD while venturing into this pregnancy business, and without any medication, it's an explosion of stress and triggers. For me, what I do is I take a break to go outside and practice "mindfulness", which is just focusing on one thing and keeping my mind there for a minute or two. It doesn't have to be happy, just pick a wall and stare at that for a minute, or a button. Stare at it and notice things. It does great for breaking your line of thought on whatever is stressing you out.

I also do a lot of stretching during the day, specifically to pop my back so that I don't get too sore (one of my triggers is physical pain and it just spirals down from there). I also stretch my fingers because it weirdly makes you feel better when you do it. I can't explain why it helps, but it does.

A lot of my activities during the day are actually centered around reducing things that make me feel rushed. Like, my alarm clock is the most passive, non-offensive tone I could find because my old tone made me feel rushed/stressed. I also keep plants in my office because looking at plants makes you feel happier/nicer. I would suggest bamboo for any normal office setting because it requires very little care and very little sunlight.

And try to fit some humor in your day. When I'm feeling extremely distressed, I put on some stand-up comedy and just being able to laugh instantly helps my mood, especially when I'm furious, depressed, or not feeling like listening to comedy. Ellen Degeneres has a few stand-up specials on YouTube that are so non-offensive, that they will lift any mood.

I hope any of this helps. Good luck!

Posts: 18