First time teen mom.
Category: Due Date Clubs - June
Posted by teenmommytobe060613 » Oct. 5, 2012 8:24pm
I just kinda wanted to introduce myself kinda.
I am Nikki. I am 5 wks and 1 day pregnant with my first baby.
I am a senior in highschool and I am due 5 days after I graduate, although my mother swears I will go into labor the day of graduation.
Right now the only person I have supporting me is my mother.
Noone else will understand why I want to keep my son/daughter since I am only 17.
The father walked out before I even found out I was pregnant because his other baby mom threatened to kill herself if he didn't go back with her, and now her and his son are more important than me and our child. so I am pretty much going it alone but I am ready to take on this challenge. I already love my son/daughter with everything in my. He/she is already my whole world.
I was wondering if any of you had any advise/tips you could give me. whether it be about pregnancy or motherhood or anything. I would really appreciate it(:
Reply by Addie02 » Oct. 6, 2012 12:38am
This might be a bigger problem than just a discussion forum online can handle, honey. I completely understand (and I'm sure any other mommy-to-be does too) the fact that you really love your baby and don't want to give him/her up. That's your choice, and you are entitled to make it.
And I'm sure you have a lot of people telling you you're crazy and you have no idea what you're doing, which is something you really don't need to hear right now.
One thing I do want to say, though: It sounds like your family life is really crappy, and I'm sorry about that. But don't romanticize this whole "having a baby" experience. Baby isn't magically going to give you a perfect family; it doesn't always work that way.
Yes, it is possible that you will have a perfect healthy baby and you'll be able to support him/her and you will have a wonderful relationship. But given your age and family situation, it's possible that you won't be in a financially or emotionally stable environment, and having a baby in that environment can be stressful and incredibly limiting on your potential.
I'd try to discuss this seriously with an unbiased third party, like a counselor or family advocate, who can give you a frank and honest opinion without having an agenda.
If you don't want to do that, at least prepare yourself by focusing on the realities, here. You're only 5 weeks, so you still have a high risk of miscarriage, and even then there are very serious health risks, and the matter of paying for your medical needs and those of your child, plus all the baby "stuff" and potential custody problems if the dad wants to be involved.
You're trying to act like an adult here, so if you want to convince people that you are READY to be an adult you have to have considered all of these things carefully and have answers for most of these potential problems. Otherwise it seems to them that you're just daydreaming about how this baby will give you the family you seem to be missing, and you don't realize it will be hard.
I am the last person to be telling you what to do, and I'm not trying to, but I just wanted to let you know where people might be coming from, and what you might be able to to do alleviate that. Don't just block out criticism because you think they're wrong; try to see why they're concerned and address that. You might not be able to fix everything, but you have the chance to prove yourself if you really want to, and it could help you in the end.
No matter how this turns out, good luck and I hope things get better.
P.S.- I'm not trying to be preachy, I promise! Just trying to give you some perspective and support.
Reply by cinthya22 » Oct. 8, 2012 6:18pm
hi... I'm sorry your baby daddy wont be in this wonderful journey with you.
Firstly I would like to congratulate you. No matter what people will tell you if you want to keep this baby is your choice. And believe it or not having only your mom at your side wishing you the best, is enough to feel she understands you.
I'm was also a teen mom. got pregnant on my senior year, the difference you can say is i had my baby daddy's support. As a matter a fact up to this day we remain together regardless of what many people told me. We been married for 8 years and are now expecting our second child.
believe it or not people are always going to criticize with whatever your decision with this baby is. So do whatever you think its best for you and your baby.
I can tell you that being a young mom hasn't been bad at all for me. I love being a mom and still being able to play with my boy. And having compliments on how young my spirit with my boy is. To me this boy is the world, and I wouldn't change having him for anything in the world. He lighted up my world.
As you I was also pointed with a finger, but i didn't care, it was my joy and if people didn't want to be a part of it, it really was their lost.
I wish the best of luck, no matter what your decision is. And also wish and hope that your baby will be healthy.
If you need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me. I will help in whatever you may need, advice/support wise! :)
Reply by diminished » Oct. 19, 2012 4:04am
I got pregnant in high school and you know whats right for you.
there is lots of support for teen pregnancy and teen parenthood, somtimes its hard to find but once your linked in it can be a godsend.
I was 15 and had the support of the father of the baby who was in his mid 20s ( i hadnt been living with my family for a few months ) we lost the baby at 14 weeks it was heartbreaking and of course the rest of the world though it was the best thing that could have happened.
its good you have your mama
Reply by Natiefernmommy » Nov. 8, 2012 8:46pm
Hi, my name is Natalie. I am pregnant with my second little bundle of joy. I am now 20 years old. I was a jr in high school when I got pregnant with my first little boy and I definetly know how you feel. my son was 6 months old when I graduated high school. I know it seems like everyone thinks that this is a horrible thing to support but its not. You are being brave and are making the best decision you can. I had everyone but my husband (was boyfriend at the time) against my decision of keeping him. with time they will get over there disappointment and fall in love with your little one. then it will be as if thats how its supposed to be. Also, I donâ??t know about your state but I live in California and because my school found it unsafe for me to go there (as if pregnancy was contagious) they decided to send me to a school for high schoolers who are pregnant. I actually enjoyed going there. I was with all young teen mothers who where in my position. I had someone to talk to that could truly relate to me and class was a lot easier. Its called the cal-safe program. probably called something else in other states but it may be worth you looking it up. If you need to talk or anything please feel free to message me. good luck =-)