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44 and just found out and negative reactions

Category: General - Newly Pregnant
Posted by NeverTooOld » Jun. 8, 2016 1:47pm

I never thought it would happen, but I got a positive test last Friday. At 44, without trying. I'm scared, but happy, as is my SO. Unfortunately, nobody else we've told is. We've only told my children, and I don't know that I want to tell anyone else, yet I feel so isolated and generally unhappy today. My kids are afraid for me, I get that, but it doesn't make it hurt any less when you hear someone say you should get an abortion. Even my pro-life child. I have health issues and they are afraid I'm going to die. I am much healthier these days and I feel pretty good about this. My mother had me at 37 despite doctors telling her she should abort me. She had some trouble, but we both obviously made it.

Any other older pregnant moms that have had negative reactions, and how do you deal with it?

My SO wants to wait until we feel this will stick to tell anyone else, and now I think I feel the same way. I typically get very sick during pregnancy though so if this is anything like my others it's going to be hard to hide. I do wish I could tell at least one person that would be supportive, but who even knows who that would be. lol

The funny thing about all of this is that I had JUST come to terms with pending menopause and that I would never have another child. I just started a new career, and I've waited my whole life for "me" time. I convinced myself that no more children would be better for me anyway, and now I could concentrate on my new job and being successful with that. Now I don't even know if I'll be able to do it. How will I meet with clients after the baby is here? I'm not sure anyone will be okay with an agent that is babywearing and breastfeeding. lol Doesn't really matter I suppose. I'll always choose child over career every time.

Talk about mixed emotions. lol Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy about this baby. I just didn't expect it, and I'm not sure what's going to happen with the new job.... or anything now. All of this would be fine if I just had a little support.


Posts: 1

Replies (3)

Reply by Kcutter » Aug. 22, 2016 1:40pm

I'm new here but relate a lot to your post. I'm 39, 40 in just two months. This baby was very wanted and is my second pregnancy. I have an 11 year old son. My husbands family is going to be thrilled when we tell them BUT my family will NOT be. They have discouraged the idea of us wanting a baby. They are worried for my health. I have autoimmune issues and am very high risk. I'm happy but very nervous about reactions. I hope things are better for you now as your post is now several weeks old.

Posts: 4

Reply by Kerzie » Oct. 2, 2016 1:56pm

Kcutter. Snap, autoimmune issues here too and I'm having to keep it from my family. I'm 44 and praying my pregnancy isn't as bad as last time. How far on are you? It's nice to know someone else is going through this too (not that I'd wish it on anyone). Hope we both have a relatively easy pregnancy

Nevertooold. How are you getting on now?

Posts: 59

Reply by kenpobaby » Oct. 2, 2016 4:44pm

I will be 42 when I deliver, and this is my 4th baby. I was only 24 when I had the first one, and it almost killed me, so age isn't always a factor when it comes to risk. Every single one after has gotten easier. I know plenty of women who have had their first babies at your age, and although I can understand your family's concern, you shouldn't put any weight in what they have to say when it comes to having this baby. Many people unfamiliar with the medical facts concerning "advanced maternal age" pregnancy, still have an outdated view of the risks. Yes, your risks are higher now, as are mine, especially if you're dealing with other preexisting health issues. But if your doctor says you're good, and you want this baby, then nothing should stop you. Prenatal care is more advanced than it was even 10 years ago. All you can do is follow your doctor's advice, assure everyone that you're getting the best medical care possible, and educate yourself so you can counteract their uninformed opinions with facts. Maybe if they know you're not just blindly going into it, they'll feel better. Keep in mind too, that alot of people have opinions about women past a certain age having babies, and some of their objections might be related to that, and they just feel better citing health reasons for their lack of support. Either way, If I were in your situation, I would probably wait until you're at least through the first trimester to tell anyone else, just so you know everything will likely be ok. The only other thing to do is tell the objectors to either get on board and be supportive, or take their crap somewhere else, because you want this baby, and they have no say in it. You would hate to see them damage their relationship with you over their lack of support. Good luck, and happy pregnancy!

Posts: 2