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DH Doesn't want this baby :(

Category: General - Newly Pregnant
Posted by aver6321 » May. 25, 2013 1:41am

So this new bean wasn't planned but I am already in love with the thought of another baby. DH is so mad at himself that this has happened again. We have 2 kids together DD (7), DS (4). He is begging me for an abortion and I don't want to do that. Is it selfish of me to go through with the pregnancy? I am so tired of being alone on this. I cant stop crying.

Posts: 4

Replies (5)

Reply by Quartz3 » May. 25, 2013 2:30am

Oh, honey. I don't really have any advice for you, but I couldn't just read and run. Is there somebody close to you you could talk about this to?
All I can say is, there is no right or wrong solution. Only you can make a decision.

Posts: 96

Reply by SaraWilliams » May. 25, 2013 3:09am

IMO its ultimately up to the mother...you're carrying the child for 9months, etc. ,etc., point is , it's up to you in the end, if you want that baby then i believe your DH will come to support your decision , he probably just needs time to wrap his head around it....idk..idk the whole situation...y'all have 2kids already sooo i dont see there being a..MAJOR problem ...ya know?

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Posts: 17

Reply by jyi226 » May. 26, 2013 2:50am

I had the same problem with my husband. I refused to back down. We went and met with friends of ours who he respects who have kids and they talked him out of his crazy idea to get rid of the kid.

Now he has come around and he is looking forward to the kid despite apprehension :)

If he refuses to back down, leave him. You want to make this decision for you. He cannot force you to do this legally and does not deserve the power to control your emotions. If what he said hurt you, you know that part of you does not want an abortion. He needs to grow up and become responsible, or get out!

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Reply by LeMatin » May. 27, 2013 5:12am

I hope you have at least one or two people you can trust IRL to discuss his with. My 2 cents: A couple in my extended family went through a similar situation decades ago. The husband pressured the wife into an abortion of 2nd pg. She never recovered emotionally and they eventually divorced anyway. The crazy part is that the one child they had died in an accident as a young adult. :< Unreal. I heard that the man, who is elderly now and trying to get will & estate things in order, was scouting around, looking under rocks, asking his ex-GFs, & affairs if they'd had any children by him.

I share this miserable, sad story to say that I think you need to go with your heart, your gut because who knows what the future brings?!! You have to be able to live w/ the choices you make. Please don't allow yourself to be bullied into something that may haunt you.

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Reply by Bubbl3h3ad » May. 28, 2013 12:36pm

Oh sister, please don't think you are alone in this pregnancy. I know it isn't the same, but us ladies here will be here when you need someone to talk to.
As said previously, do not let him bully you into doing something that you don't want to do. You are in love with this little one already and if he wants to take away something you love so much, what does that say about him??
He may come around. I don't know the circumstances but is there something he is fearful of? Do you know why he doesn't want this one? Give it a little time and see if his mind changes but definitely do not put his wants before yours in this situation.
Will be praying for you, I can imagine this is very difficult on you!

Posts: 1