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heavy PCOS

Category: Special - Pregnancy Complications & Testing
Posted by TossaRos » Mar. 15, 2017 1:48pm

Hello all! I’m in despair. I’m 38 and I have PCOS. I also have 2 beautiful children Mary (5) and Jacob (11) delivered without significant complications. After I delivered Mary I got problems with my weight, heavy problems. Being 5’4” my weight is around 240 lbs. I think I tried everything but nothing has changed, as the reason for this are hormones. I wasn’t skinny before but 160lbs was my max. Now I’m depressed, I’m fat and I can’t take it. My husband tries to support me but I see how looks at me. I could say that my appearance is the only thing that changed, and I’m still Sarah he married to but it’s not true. I can blame hormones of course, but not sure it’s not just my real ‘face’….i’m depressed, I feel constant anger and I feel exhausted. And my problem is that I want to have the 3d baby. My dh and I decided to have 3 kids when we became parents of Jacob so I hope it may influence positively on our relationships. I can’t carry a baby being so heavy and I can’t lose weight and as I was told I should look for surrogacy if I want to have a kid but I also need to find egg donor, it’s the most sad, I wanted to have a baby 100% of my own …uurrgh. I need your support to cope with it. And it would be nice if you tell me how to start surrogacy, I know nothing about the things like this. What to do first?

Posts: 6

Replies (13)

Reply by lilachiala » Mar. 15, 2017 3:28pm

Hi honey! Sorry you have to go through this nightmare. I know nothing about your health troubles from my own experience, but I'm now on my way to nave a baby through surrogacy program and may share my fresh impressions and experience. First of all you need to contact a clinic or agency you chose in a country where it is legal. You must tell your reasons for surrogacy and you need to have your dr's indication which says you really cannot bear a child because of dangerous consequences. You have a husband so it's not a problem for you. by the way if you want to save money, don't turn to an agency, you will pay much more than applying straight to a clinic. Then you would be provided with information about prices for such services, please be very attentive and ask everything you need to know, don't be shy. I hope it could be useful for you. xxx

Posts: 10

Reply by rhutes » Mar. 16, 2017 1:45pm

I am sorry if my commentary hurts you
But can’t you go for hormonal therapy? I mean it should help you.. or have you done something of that sort already? And if so it means that nothing’s worked out?
And considering your husband. I think that you imagine things, I think that you obviously do not like your appearance yourself and you think that your husband thinks the same.
I really wish you get better.
PS you want to start surrogacy? isn't it too much?

Posts: 5

Reply by TossaRos » Mar. 16, 2017 2:43pm

no need to be sorry, rhutes, that's alright. hormones are not welcomed in my case. too many side effects and my PCOS could become worse. it just doesn't work in my case. maybe there is a way out but I don't know about it. in any case I can't be stimulated to have my eggs retrieved as well as can't carry a baby. I think everything's too much..I don't want to go through this again. but I have to..

Posts: 6

Reply by hogan888 » Mar. 17, 2017 7:49am

Hello! Having read your post I remembered the time when I was taking decision about surrogacy. I also wanted to have my 100% child, and have never allowed myself for even thinking about donation, but there weren’t many options to choose. I feel angry with myself, I was mad at the whole world. I was so depressed so that I had to see a psychologist. And she really helped me to accept the situation and understand that it's going to be MY child all the same, the part of my bellowed husband, and I realized that I want it! So maybe you should talk with a specialist who could help you to arrange your thoughts and you will be able to consider surrogacy. You know what I learned from my experience of using surrogate mother? it doesn't matter who gave birth to a child; you are the one who will care, love and making your child happy the whole life. My hugs for you, darling

Posts: 2

Reply by TossaRos » Mar. 17, 2017 2:04pm

Thank you for your warm words, Hogan. donation is incredibly hard to take, I know what it feels like. but I know women who think that it's nothing and they act like they don't care. we all are different. so you have a baby after surrogacy? how was it?

Posts: 6

Reply by lilachiala » Mar. 17, 2017 2:27pm

thank you, lilachiala! It's very useful information for me at the moment. So, I need to tell my husband about clinics and agencies. we didn't think that it's better to go straight to a clinic, i thought all of them dealing with agencies. so you have already had a baby via surrogacy? what do you feel? I mean do you think about this baby like he/she is not yours or do you feel you are less momish as you didn't deliver him/her?

Posts: 10

Reply by avanyyy » Mar. 20, 2017 11:15am

Well, we found clinic in ukraine, probably you don't know much about this country. We were provided with all needed services and were given an informative consultation.
If you are interested in surrogacy just browse the ukrainian clinics, you'll see many of them.
What criteria do you have? what you want the clinic provides you with?
Hi, dear, sorry to hear about your problem. Infertility is not a fate and thanks reproductive medicine you can be a mom.
My problem is similar, I couldn't get pregnant and that drove me crazy. we've failed 4 cycles of ivf. Two were with fresh embryos and 2 with frozen. I miscarriaged 4 times and that's awful.
We thought we could never be parents.
Eventually, we decided to try one more time and now I'm pregnant. I clearly understand that my health condition won't allow me to bear the baby that's why we signed a contract which gives us an opportunity to move to a surrogacy. Honestly, I don't support this but is ivf doesn't work for us this time we'll do a surrogacy.
So, answering your question, firstly, you both have to find out your criteria. I mean, what do you want to get from your future clinic. Sometimes people look for a cheap one, other want to be sure only in success rate, what personally you want?

Posts: 22

Reply by rhutes » Mar. 21, 2017 10:23am

oh my... this is a s**tty situation you're in... well, I am really sorry... if surrogacy is indeed your last option well then you should not hesitate. but it'd be better to consider all of the options up to adoption to just know that your decision is right
I am opting for egg donation treatment as the best option in our situation but of course prices...I think how to budget this I cannot even think about the prices for surrogacy programs..

Posts: 5

Reply by BabyBiggles » Mar. 21, 2017 11:13am


I know every circumstance is different so I'm certainly not telling you that you're wrong; I don't know your personal medical situation. I just wanted to write a little from my own experience.

I have PCOS and have struggled with my weight. It has caused problems with being able to conceive but now I am pregnant with my second child. In preparation for both I had to lose a lot of weight because I wasn't ovulating at all, and it was really hard work. But it isn't impossible and it's not just me, I've connected with a lot of women with PCOS on fertility boards like CountdownToPregnancy and myfitnesspal; there are many people in the same situation working really hard to lose weight and finally managing to get there. Maybe you've tried these things already but some people swear by cutting out gluten and dairy, for me I found sugar to be a big problem. I don't mean the obvious biscuits and cakes, I mean even yoghurt and fruit, anything with a sugar content. I focused mostly on eating vegetables and meat, that worked well for me. I have also read a lot about supplements and found taking Inositol seemed to give my metabolism a boost and make losing weight a little easier, there has been a lot of research done on the impact it can have for PCOS and helping your body to use insulin properly so it doesn't attack the ovaries instead. These things weren't suggested by a doctor but by doing my own research and speaking to lots of other women who are trying to find natural solutions to their weight and other symptoms. The final thing has been going to Slimming World. Of all the diet clubs going about, SW promote a healthy balanced diet the best and also use theory-based health behaviour change techniques to support you and keep your motivation up (I'm a health psychologist so I understand how the programme has been developed). I'm following SW whilst pregnant and finding it really useful in keeping my weight gain low, despite the PCOS.

Anyway, maybe you're tried already and these things don't work for you or there are reasons why this isn't useful. As I said, I don't know your personal circumstances and it's different for everybody. I just wanted to let you know that it IS possible to lose weight with PCOS, and even if you do decide you can't have another baby naturally, just for the sake of your mental health I would really recommend giving some of this a try.

Best of luck xx

Posts: 28

Reply by Hannahh123 » Dec. 25, 2018 1:52pm


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Reply by Hannahh123 » Mar. 7, 2019 9:49pm


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Reply by Hannahh123 » Aug. 10, 2019 11:38pm

Hey, don't be this hard on yourself. I am sure things will get better. Looking into alternatives. However, the clinic I am aware of doesn't accept candidates if they can't conceive naturally. They are known for the surrogacy treatment. The doctors are also extremely experienced. I would suggest that you visit the clinic. Ask them for advice. During the initial steps, they will do your medical examination. So that they can closely look at your case. After this, they will see which treatment will be better for you. I myself am visiting them for my process. So far things are going excellent. Good luck to you. I hope things work out.

Posts: 424

Reply by Hannahh123 » 34 weeks ago

I am really sorry to hear about your PCOS. I hope things work out for you. For surrogacy make sure that the clinic you visit is operating at a high success rate. For this process, it is really important that the clinic is experienced in it Mainly because there is a lot of legal work involved. This type of work requires experience. Good luck to you. I hope things work for you. I know a clinic that is quite known for the process if you want the details let me know.

Posts: 424