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Category: General - Symptoms & Discomforts
Posted by adney5715 » Sep. 29, 2017 3:47pm

Hi, people, Although many of us have never been a mother we know how special it feels to be a mother. I was nine years old when my younger brother was born. I have seen her how she used to look after my brother. I have seen the way she struggled during her pregnancy. I know it is not an easy task to become a mother. I am aware of the problems that a woman has to face during her pregnancy. Apart from all this, I always think that how amazing it feels to have a little human growing inside your body. Those nine months of pregnancy are definitely the most amazing period of women’s lives. I want to experience those beautiful nine months. You people must be thinking that I am not a fertile person but I am. The problem that I am going through is heart valve disease. According to the doctor, that disease is fatal. It will put my life to risk if I try to conceive a baby. I am worried about my health but what causes more pain to me is when I think that I cannot become a mother ever in my life. This thought of deprivation hurts me a lot.

Posts: 5

Replies (48)

Reply by emmaspencer2419 » Sep. 29, 2017 9:41pm

I was very kids friendly person used to take care of my sister daughter. Thought to have baby some day of my own was wonderful. But when time reached and I was ready to have baby, doctor ultrasound reports showed uterus thin lining. It was huge disappointment, least expected. It jeopardized my life completely in every way. But with family support and care I handle it. Substance abuse in past damaged my uterine wall. And endometrial line shrinked which caused infertility. My mother used to be my inspiration she handled many miseries in her life alone. So I have to recover myself from drowning. My husband is a supportive person he always encourages me to not to lose hope. With the passage of time I realize we will figure something out if we are together. the depression I faced in past years was soul ricking. I remember those nights when I couldn’t sleep for hours and hours. Thought of not conceiving sadden me some time but I want to move on.

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Reply by SelenaJones » Sep. 30, 2017 12:52am

Well! I can personally empathize with you. I literally know how it feels when something like this comes out literally different from your expectations. It really hard to believe and realize this kind of reality. My whole life I invested my thoughts of being a mother and I was also going to become but I didn't due to an accident. I had this car accident, which got my uterus removed through a surgery and later I am not able to conceive now. I know, how it likes becoming infertile and going far away from able to not capable of becoming a mother. Well, I felt miserable just like you. But, it didn't take me anywhere better. My DH loved me more than ever, even after this. He supported me and then eventually after going for another way (surrogacy), we finally practically got out of it. We finally had our son though it by using my husband's sperm, we changed our lives..We took this decision mutually, which got us out of misery.

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Reply by Jasmine.Flower19 » Sep. 30, 2017 5:47am

Hi Andey! I totally agree with your statement that it takes a lot to give birth to a new life. A mother has to bear a lot of pain and problems during the pregnancy period. It is definitely the most testing period of a women’s life. Then comes the joy and excitement when the new one comes into this world. The mother is cherished with what she has achieved after a struggling period of nine months. I feel very sorry for you that you cannot see this moment and feel the happiness of having your own baby. It is a very difficult situation for you to cope with. I know you feel isolated and feel the absence of your own children. I also wanted to be a mother and give my husband the most precious gift of his life. But my life has selected something else for me. I am also facing a fatal heart disease. I cannot get pregnant because if I get so it can take my life. I have been really depressed due to this. I cannot believe that such a thing has happened to me. But nothing else could be done now. I think I have to deal with this all my life. I have come here to share my problems so that I can get a bit relief from my upset condition. I hope that now you will also feel a bit relaxed as you have come to know that you are not alone in this. Lots of love!

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Reply by Isabel » Sep. 30, 2017 4:48pm

Hi Andey! Hope you doing well. I am sorry to know about your heart disease. I can understand your feelings about not having kids. You are lucky to have loving husband so don't be sad and be grateful that you have a loving husband. I also love children and trying for three years. This year I had miscarriage due to incompetent cervix. The loss of my child was really heartbreaking. I couldn't eat and sleep well .My husband helped me to console. I heard about surrogacy from some of my friends. This seemed to me a good option and feel hopeful. Me and my husband are searching for appropriate doctor and surrogate. You can also opt for surrogacy for children. Planning for child with heart disease might be risky for you. It might put your life in danger. Wish you all the best.

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Reply by rebecca8411 » Oct. 1, 2017 3:48am

Unfortunately there are a lot of such women, they think that they can be called mothers if they have children. Even of course, the theoretical is, but practical ?! In general, I'm very sorry for these children. Unfortunately, they do not receive maternal love and attention, and if the mother abuses alcohol, it is generally terrible. But they are only going to use the service of surrogate motherhood. What if your friend again starts drinking alcohol? Then they will abandon this idea? In any case, I can confirm that this biotexcom clinic in Ukraine, is quite good. My sister did IVF there. Although there were few chances, in our country she was told that she would have unsuccessful IVF attempts. Yes, everything turned out not at the first attempt and not with the second. And it turned out with a third attempt, but it happened. But nothing happened in our country. They went to Ukraine, because they thought that if they did not work out, they would not try again. They decided that this trip would be decisive. At first they did not place high hopes on this matter. Because they found out about the clinic on the forum. Also have decided to try, well here as something unexpectedly all turned out. They were offered a surrogate motherhood, but they did not have money. But now they are very happy that they were in Ukraine and decided to do IVF there. In addition, I can also say that many women not only abuse alcohol but also smoke. And this also has a very bad effect on the child. Especially when a pregnant woman smokes. For example, when my sister was experiencing from unsuccessful attempts of IVF, her friend was pregnant. And this friend often came to visit her and smoked. My sister was going crazy. She so wants to give birth to a child and cannot, she guards for her health, she does not allow herself anything extra, even from eating.

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Reply by SelinaDylan247 » Oct. 1, 2017 7:33am

Hey dear. I have read your post. I completely understand all the emotions that are surging through you. Take it from someone like me. I have been infertile for more than 12 years. Initially, I too was devastated. But I learned to cope with it as time passed. Spend your time doing things you like. Such as hanging out with friends to take your mind off of pregnancy and children. This helped me tremendously. Always remember to seel help from the Almighty. So always remember to pray. And you can always consider the option of surrogacy. That is if you like. All the best and do keep me updates on your condition.

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Reply by natasha.dane » Oct. 1, 2017 2:50pm

Adney, i can completely and totally relate to your feelings, when we grow up seeing our mother through their pregnancy time, and when we have a new guest coming to our family, the feeling is beyond what we can describe, the joy the happiness of welcoming a new member, it feels great, many of us imagined ourselves too, that when we will grow up and get married we will be having a family of our own too, but some people are not that fortunate. And I am one of them, it feels miserable and incomplete, when you can enjoy and avail the joy of motherhood, sometimes you might feel left out, especially when you see other women being pregnant or when somebody is enjoying with their children, i feel your pain, I met with an accident soon after i got married, I had Partial Hysterectomy, it was very hard for me to overcome the accident trauma itself, but after knowing that i will not be able to get pregnant was so devastating for me, i cant express you its very painful, but you are a fertile person and its you're fatal illness which is coming in your way, you can get pregnant soon after your heart health gets better, or if you're doctor allows you, but i don't have any such option in my case, i hope God erase your illness.

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Reply by Jasmine.Flower19 » Oct. 1, 2017 3:33pm

Hi everyone. I am really amazed to see the number of replies on this post. It is now clear to me that I have made a good choice to share my problems here as you all have also done. Encouragement is very important for women like us who are really upset and depressed due to our problem. This is very good to see that everyone is trying to support each other. As others, I am also not able to become a mother. I have also wished for having my own children and have a complete family but this could not happen. I feel really depressed because the reason behind all this is not my infertility problem. I am completely fine. But my heart disease does not let me do so. As all other I have also not lost any hope. I have been trying to get cure of my heart disease so that I can also have a baby. In the previous I was not feeling really well but I am not losing hope. I am getting my proper treatment and following a proper diet prescribed by my doctor. I hope every one of you are also trying their best to get out of this situation. This is very difficult and tiring journey but we should not lose hope. Lots of love for every one. Stay blessed and happy! :)

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Reply by adney5715 » Oct. 1, 2017 4:56pm

Hi, Emma Spencer, I am glad how your mother and husband supported you in hard times. Just like you, I was very kid friendly. This was because my sister has 3 kids. One of them was born after but two before my marriage. She used to leave her kids with me when she has to go somewhere. So I am a trained person in handling kids. After my marriage, my husband and I discovered about my heart valve disease. That disease is preventing me from having babies. When I first found out, I was very depressed. I never thought that it would become so hard for me to become a mother. My sister had no complications during her pregnancies. Therefore, I never knew that things would be that hard in my case. I was going through sleepless nights. I stopped eating anything because of the depression. I stopped taking my medicines for the disease I was suffering.

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Reply by Veronica0 » Oct. 2, 2017 12:24am

Hi Adney, we both are in same shoes . I can understand exactly how it feels. My colleagues when talk about their kids I feel so left out. I feel lucky though God has gifted me with such a partner who never gives up on me. After my marriage we came to know I had to get my ovaries operated because of a tumor. Obviously I couldn't conceive after that. I didn't wanted to adopt so my husband discussed our situation with his brother who is a doctor . He took me to a fertility doctor my brother-in-law recommended . The fertility doctor told us about IVF treatment and we were keen to have kids. He explained and answered our every question quite patiently. Since I cannot conceive , the surrogacy hospital arranged a surrogate for us. She is helpful and accomodating. It is still in initial stage but I am having very positive vibes . Why don't you also discuss this with your partner?!

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Reply by Pauline » Oct. 2, 2017 9:48pm

Heya ppl,
I am in my late 30s . Doctors say I cannot ever be a mother . I had a tumor in my uterus which has been recently operated. Other than this I have a kidney issue , I am surviving on single kidney . So my health limitations doesn't allow me to become a parent. But I am lucky to marry my bestfriend who understands everything very well. I know he love kids but he never ever failed to be a husband. He is great with kids . My friends often leave their kids to him when we go out for shopping. But he never ever complain to me. So last week I read about a clinic that is quite known for its services in surrogacy . I am really enthusiastic about it but I have kept it secret as for now! It will be surprise for him . I talked to the executive at clinic they seem very knowledgeable about IVF . Wish me luck. And please tell me it will be cent percent positive.

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Reply by Isabel » Oct. 2, 2017 10:16pm

Hey Adney I am also kids friendly. I also used to hold my elder sister's daughter. The time spent with her is unforgettable. We used to eat together. Played games and laughed at silly jokes. The time spent with her was very joyful. After three years of my marriage I did conceive but had miscarriage due to incompetent cervix. This unfortunate time made me feel depressed and I thought I will never be able to become mother again. Luckily I came to know about surrogacy through some of my friends. Now with the help of my husband I am planning for it. Without my husband support I would not be able to become mother. If your husband is supportive he will listen to you and think about surrogacy. Hope you become successful. All the best. Take care!

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Reply by Veronica0 » Oct. 3, 2017 12:05am

I was going through different posts, and wanted to say wow to us . We all are actually sharing our feelings. It is soothing to see like minded people under one roof . atleast we arenot judged here.Thankyou everyone . just btw I think Jasmine and adney you should also search for advice from your doctor for surrogacy. There are many successful stories. Just take a leap of faith . I don't think so God will disappoint us repeatedly. Mine is going quite stable uptil now . Let's see what happens . I am hoping I'll have baby this time and my efforts won't end up blank.

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Reply by SelinaDylan247 » Oct. 4, 2017 2:28pm

Hey Adney. Well that sure came as a surprise. I guess you being close to your sister's children has contributed to your current plight. You thought so highly of them. And that caused you to have drastic expectations regarding your pregnancy. And when it didnt work out, you were broken hearted. I am not saying that you shouldn't love kids. I am just saying that you should be cautious to not get attached to something so much that it invades your peace. Nonetheless, don't be sad. Work through each day. Keep visiting different doctors. It may be that you find a cure in due time. Meanwhile concentrate elsewhere. A good alternative is reading books. That really helped me. All the best.

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Reply by adney5715 » Oct. 16, 2017 9:28pm

Hi Veronica, I am glad to hear that you are going to have your baby soon through surrogacy. Finally, you will be able to experience motherhood. I am sure you will enjoy sleepless nights and tiring days with your little one. We are planning to adopt a baby. Our families are not agreeing upon it. However, we are trying to convince them.

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Reply by adney5715 » Oct. 16, 2017 9:29pm

Hi Selina Dylan, thanks for showing so much concern. Yes, it is the case that I was too attached with my nephews and niece. Many people on the forum have suggested me to go for surrogacy. Do you have any idea about that? My husband and I are planning to adopt a baby. My family is against of adoption. We are trying to convince them.

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Reply by camille » Dec. 12, 2017 12:08pm

Sorry dear

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Reply by monika123 » Feb. 5, 2018 4:48pm

Hey there! I hope you're doing fine. Becoming parents and experiencing the motherhood is indeed a dream of every mother. Having a heart problem is actually a major problem. However, with positivity things can work out. Since the technology has progressed it allows everything to be possible. You can opt for surrogacy. As it allows you to be genetically linked with the parents. Research about it. There are a couple of really good clinics that you should look up into. Best of luck! I hope things go smoothly for you. All my prayers are with you.

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Reply by clara002 » Feb. 8, 2018 2:15pm

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I can fully understand your problems and worries. Living an infertile life is not easy at all. I am also in the same boat as you are. I am also TTc from past 10 years but no luck. I have tried almost everything. But sadly nothing worked. I wish you good luck, all my best wishes are with you. Hope you become mother soon

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Reply by teena82 » Feb. 9, 2018 12:57pm

Hi Adney, you are absolutely right. Babies are the biggest asset for every women. Getting pregnant after marriage is such an overwhelming for almost all women who are wishing for a parenting role. Giving birth to a child is indeed what every woman craves for and this feeling is unmatched with any other pleasures of life. You are fertile but you can not carry a baby inside you then do not worry you have a perfect solution to this problem, that is surrogacy. It is becoming very common throughout the world. You will give you're eggs and you're husband his sperms. Both will be fertilized in laboratory and embryo will be implanted inside the surrogate mother. Baby will develop inside her womb for nine months and after delivery that would be yours. you're own baby legally as well as genetically. Even surrogate mother can not claim for him/her. So, you can be the mother of you're own child. You can not carry baby inside you but you can feed him, look after him and can perform all the tasks of the parents. Just think about it.

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