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Joined Nov. 8, 2013 3:23pm

dakotagurrl's Pregnancy

My Due Date: June 24, 2019
I have given birth!
Age: 40 years old
Location: Canada

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Halfway mark...booyah! =))
By dakotagurrl » Posted 36 weeks ago - 129 views - 3 comments

I haven't written since 12w1d, apparently. Ah well, no news is good news!

I have an OB appt tomorrow....meh, bor-ing. My anomaly is Wed morning tho...super excited for that!! It's funny, I really thought this pregnancy would be hard for me to relax through. I thought I'd be in a non-stop panic about absolutely everything....and I'm not! I'm fucking loving every minute of it!!! I made up my mind (and came to a realization) a long time ago, that I wouldn't let the past ruin my present, and I haven't! It's been awesome! I'm so excited for my scan and to see my little monster boppin' around in there. I *almost* don't really care about what is or isn't wrong. Yeah, I definitely wanna know if something isn't right, so I can take the appropriate measures to make sure we are with the right hospital/team when he/she arrives. I will ensure I'm where I need to be, that's fo'sho. But as for the rest of it...what's done is done. The organs are formed and there's nothing that can rewind and redo those vital weeks. I did everything in my power (as I always have) to make sure that baby has the best start, healthiest host, and best doctor to monitor it all...the rest is out of my control. I'm leaving it as just that, out of my control. Would I love a healthy baby? Of course I would, who wouldn't?! Will a severe defect or less than ideal condition change my decisions? Nope! This one will be carried for as long as he/she allows me to do so. He/she will have people fighting for him/her. Doctors will exhaust every treatment possible. Then, and only then, will I make the decision that is best for him/her. Not for me, not for my family, not for anyone with some judgemental/religious opinion.....him/her! So, with that being said, hopefully u understand why I'm not a nervous wreck....becuz it doesn't really matter. I refuse to worry about what hasn't been diagnosed, simply becuz it *could* happen again. One day at a time. Today, I am pregnant! Today, my baby is happy, healthy and alive! This, makes it all worth it! <3 <3 <3

Other than that, not much else is really new. The weather sucks ass! It can't seem to decide what it wants to do. 3 days ago I was dealing with -39 and blizzards, and today it's +11 and muddy as fuck. Can't wait til summer...this winter BS is for penguins and polar bears.

Hope ur all well! Be safe, stay warm! =))

Comments for this Journal Entry

Comment from dakotagurrl » Posted 35 weeks ago
Awww, thanks Mal! I try to remain as positive about everything as I can. It's not always easy, but I do the best I can with the cards I've been dealt.
I'm all for spring and summer. Late spring tho. Early spring is always rainy and cold here. Summers good tho, and I can drink beer again. Mmmmm grapefruit radler!!

Thanks, Sonata. I've heard Chicago gets some nasty weather, never actually been there tho. And don't worry about the ebf thing. U tried and it didn't work out...it happens. A fed baby is what's really important. Society needs to stop making women feel like there's only one way to do things. Sometimes things don't work out, it doesn't make u a bad mom, nor should u ever feel guilty for it. Ever! Let go of everything ur dwelling on, u can't change the past. *hugs*

Comment from sonata85 » Posted 36 weeks ago
I am so so thrilled for you!! You're in a great place--well, except for the weather. We had polar vortex in Chicago, and apparently it was colder here than Antarctica and Siberia. I'm on pin and needles waiting for your scan pics and results! I've got a good feeling, and no matter what you've got one lucky little one to have you as a mama. I'm with Mal on the trying to not give a fuck part. I still have this guilt about not being able to exclusively breastfeed, which is probably the least concern about anything I should have. Enjoy, update!!! living vicariously here lol

Comment from MalPal85 » Posted 36 weeks ago
I absolutely love your attitude about everything! You do you girl and do it for yourself, just like you said! Who gives about fuck about everything and everyone else?! As you know, I try to be that way but it doesn't always work :-/. I hear ya with the weather! Cold as shit last week and now muddy and disgusting out. Bring on the summer, or at least spring!

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