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Joined Nov. 18, 2013 8:12pm

Cattsmeow's Pregnancy

My Due Date: November 24, 2015
I have given birth!
Age: 33 years old

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By Cattsmeow » Posted Oct. 23, 2015 9:38am - 208 views - 4 comments

I think it's safe to say I am NOT looking forward to next week. We have a super super busy week. Monday, we have to take our 1 year old to Shriner's in St. Louis for his 3 month clubfoot check up. We escaped being recasted in August, but I don't think we'll be able to avoid it this time. Not unless they wait until after Valerie is born, because as of November 1st, I am not allowed to travel more than an hour away, and St. Louis is 3.5 hours away. His right foot still looks like it's trying to turn back inwards. =/ Anyways, we have to be at Shriner's by 8, and I really hope they get us in on time. We have to be back home by 2, as my husband and I both have insurance physical appointments then. Tuesday is a down day. Wednesday I have my 36 week ob appointment. It's shaping up to be a rather lengthy appointment, as I am getting a growth ultrasound and a NST due to my GD. Thursday is my oldest's psychologist appointment for his formal behavior evaluation. (He was evaluated at school, and the results are indicative of ADHD, ODD, bipolar, and OCD.) I have to fill out a bunch of paperwork before his appointment and gather up all the behavior charts and disciplinary reports from school, etc. *sigh* Friday is another down day. And then Saturday...Halloween...the day I both look forward to and dread. I look forward to it because it's Halloween. Who doesn't like Halloween? I look forward to it because my oldest loves dressing up. He doesn't even care about the candy. He tells me we don't have to go trick or treating, as long as he can still wear his costume. (We do go trick or treating, btw.) I dread it because it is the day my first daughter was born still. It's very hard to believe that she would have been 9 this year. Some days it feels like it happened just yesterday. Others, it seems like a lifetime has passed. This year, it feels so fresh. I think it's because this pregnancy matches up with hers so well. I am also having another baby girl, which is adding to the anxiety. We have something special planned for her this year. Normally we go to the cemetery and take her flowers and a cupcake. This year, my husband has to work and we won't have time to make the hour drive to the cemetery, so we're going to do a balloon release here at home before we take the boys out trick or treating. I'm sad at the prospect of not going to her resting place, but at the same time I'm a little relieved. I don't know how I would handle going this year. I'm afraid I would break down and ruin the day for my sons. I want them to know about their big sister, but I don't want them to feel sadness at not knowing her. I see her as their own personal Guardian Angel, and I want them to "know" her in that light. I know there will be tears during the day from me, but I want to make Halloween a happy day for them. Does that make sense?

Anyways, enough with the heavy before I start crying again.

Valerie has been sitting awfully low the past couple of days. I'm pretty sure I feel her in my pelvis. I have so much pressure down there. When I stand up and walk around, it feels like she's just going to fall out. Also, the nerve pain I have been having in my right hip has spread to the left side now. I can't even squat down to pick anything up anymore. I'm at that point where if I drop something, it's staying on the floor until someone comes around to help me pick it up. By help, I mean pick it up for me. I can't even stand long enough to wash the dishes without massive amounts of pain in my hips. I am not ashamed to admit that most of my days are now being spent sprawled out on the couch. lol. I am just highly uncomfortable these days. (Valerie, that does NOT mean you can continue to try to escape early. You need to stay put until November 3rd at least, thank you very much.)

Comments for this Journal Entry

Comment from lala_0412 » Posted Oct. 23, 2015 3:05pm
Busy is good. I know it can be hard but it makes another week go by that you are closer to meeting your precious girl. The balloon release sounds great. Any way to remember is a good way. Enjoy this weekend and get tons of rest.

Comment from pbc910 » Posted Oct. 23, 2015 11:39am
I think the balloon release sounds like a lovely idea. Even the simplest of ways to memorialize someone are special. Good way for the boys to be involved yet still let them enjoy Halloween (and their mom)! Most nights I can hardly move from my room to the bathroom. It's crazy how much pregnancy can affect mobility. And of course I drop the soap in my shower every time and not just once but multiple times! I also have a problem gripping things so I've dropped entire glasses of water several times over the last week in my bathroom with no one to help pick up. The getting down is easy but trying to get up feels impossible!

Comment from Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Oct. 23, 2015 10:11am
Sorry you aren't looking forward to next week, sugar. Hopefully it'll come and go before you know it. *Hug*

Comment from MalPal85 » Posted Oct. 23, 2015 10:09am
You are busy next week! I'm very busy this weekend. So much so that I took Monday off for a mental health day, lol. Sorry so about the loss of your daughter. I hope you can make the most of the day and enjoy your kids :). I'm starting to feel stretching in my lower region which is making my walk much slower and a bit ridiculous looking.

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