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Cattsmeow's Pregnancy
My Due Date: November 24, 2015I have given birth!
Age: 37 years old
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Valerie is 8 months tomorrow, and ppd update
By Cattsmeow » Posted Jul. 16, 2016 8:54am - 446 views - 7 comments
My baby girl will be 8 months old tomorrow. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again: how is this possible??? Lol. She is getting so big and hitting milestones left and right. The picture I have attached is not the best, but it perfectly shows her latest feat, pulling up! She is absolutely fearless. She pulls up on everything! I keep a baby gate up in the hallway that leads to the back portion of our house (washer/dryer is back, along with my bathroom and bedroom. We don't let any of the kids back there.) She pulled up on the gate while I was switching laundry over and pulled the gate down on top of herself. She didn't get hurt or anything, just looked at me like "wtf just happened?" She still isn't crawling on all fours yet. She can, she just doesn't. It's like she prefers to do the army low crawl and just finds it easier to drag herself around like that. But with her pulling up already, I think we'll have an early walker on our hands. (My oldest was walking by 10 months, whereas Brandt didn't walk on his own until a couple weeks after his first birthday.) Her first tooth has broken through the gum line this past week. Not much, just the very top of the tooth, but it's a TOOTH! Lol. She has been a sick, snotty mess all week, and I really thought her misery was all illness. Then she got a hold of my finger, shoved it in her mouth, and bit down. It surprised me when I felt it. Lol. She is doing really well though, and seems to be coming out on the mending end of her cold. She's consistently saying Mama and Dada, every once in a while she gets out a Bubba, which of course, her big bubbies LOVE. My oldest gets all squeaky happy when she does it, and Brandt is just like, yea I'm bubba. Brandt loves playing with Valerie, although I really have to watch him around her closely. He tries to feed her things she can't have just yet. Last night he tried to give her a piece of pizza. >.> He also likes to use her as a step stool. I was getting a cup of coffee this morning, turned around, and he was trying to stand on her back to reach the TV. He got his butt popped for that one.
AFM, I'm going to be honest. I am really struggling again. I had pretty severe PPD right after Valerie was born. I got on medication in January, and it helped. A lot. But I exhausted my script my OB gave me and by law in my state, she can not write another one. I have been fighting with my insurance to get into a doctor, so I can get help. Therapy, meds, whatever. But I have to go through a PCP. My husband and I do not have a PCP, so I have to wait until September to get into one. (Wait lists for new patients is LONG, some offices the wait went into May of 2017). From there, for the referral my insurance requires, it could take an additional 6-8 months to get into mental health. It's ridiculous. For now, I am doing a lot of yoga, meditation, exercise, etc. It helps, but only to a certain degree. I have no desire to harm myself or my children in any way, but I struggle to find the motivation to do my daily routine. Cleaning, playing with the kids, etc. It's hard, but I am getting by. I wanted to bring this up because a lot of people think PPD only lasts for a month or two, then goes away. I am here to say that that is not always the case. You can struggle with it for years. And that's perfectly OK. I just want people to know that they can talk about it without being judged, that there is someone out there who understands.
My Journal
Valerie is 8 months tomorrow, and ppd update
By Cattsmeow » Posted Jul. 16, 2016 8:54am - 446 views - 7 comments
My baby girl will be 8 months old tomorrow. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again: how is this possible??? Lol. She is getting so big and hitting milestones left and right. The picture I have attached is not the best, but it perfectly shows her latest feat, pulling up! She is absolutely fearless. She pulls up on everything! I keep a baby gate up in the hallway that leads to the back portion of our house (washer/dryer is back, along with my bathroom and bedroom. We don't let any of the kids back there.) She pulled up on the gate while I was switching laundry over and pulled the gate down on top of herself. She didn't get hurt or anything, just looked at me like "wtf just happened?" She still isn't crawling on all fours yet. She can, she just doesn't. It's like she prefers to do the army low crawl and just finds it easier to drag herself around like that. But with her pulling up already, I think we'll have an early walker on our hands. (My oldest was walking by 10 months, whereas Brandt didn't walk on his own until a couple weeks after his first birthday.) Her first tooth has broken through the gum line this past week. Not much, just the very top of the tooth, but it's a TOOTH! Lol. She has been a sick, snotty mess all week, and I really thought her misery was all illness. Then she got a hold of my finger, shoved it in her mouth, and bit down. It surprised me when I felt it. Lol. She is doing really well though, and seems to be coming out on the mending end of her cold. She's consistently saying Mama and Dada, every once in a while she gets out a Bubba, which of course, her big bubbies LOVE. My oldest gets all squeaky happy when she does it, and Brandt is just like, yea I'm bubba. Brandt loves playing with Valerie, although I really have to watch him around her closely. He tries to feed her things she can't have just yet. Last night he tried to give her a piece of pizza. >.> He also likes to use her as a step stool. I was getting a cup of coffee this morning, turned around, and he was trying to stand on her back to reach the TV. He got his butt popped for that one.
AFM, I'm going to be honest. I am really struggling again. I had pretty severe PPD right after Valerie was born. I got on medication in January, and it helped. A lot. But I exhausted my script my OB gave me and by law in my state, she can not write another one. I have been fighting with my insurance to get into a doctor, so I can get help. Therapy, meds, whatever. But I have to go through a PCP. My husband and I do not have a PCP, so I have to wait until September to get into one. (Wait lists for new patients is LONG, some offices the wait went into May of 2017). From there, for the referral my insurance requires, it could take an additional 6-8 months to get into mental health. It's ridiculous. For now, I am doing a lot of yoga, meditation, exercise, etc. It helps, but only to a certain degree. I have no desire to harm myself or my children in any way, but I struggle to find the motivation to do my daily routine. Cleaning, playing with the kids, etc. It's hard, but I am getting by. I wanted to bring this up because a lot of people think PPD only lasts for a month or two, then goes away. I am here to say that that is not always the case. You can struggle with it for years. And that's perfectly OK. I just want people to know that they can talk about it without being judged, that there is someone out there who understands.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted Jul. 20, 2016 8:45am MalPal, he's 7 months? Wowza! All the babies are getting so big! Lol. And I hope you figure out your weight gain. It sucks. I've been yo-yoing lately, 10-15 lbs in either direction. But I think it is being caused by the tubal I had in January. It has really messed me up, cycle wise. |
 | Comment from MalPal85 » Posted Jul. 19, 2016 12:15pm So glad she is doing so well. That's awesome that she is saying a few words. I can't believe how fast the time is going. I can't believe Colton turned 7 months old this past Saturday. It's insane! Sorry to hear you're not doing well again but I think you have the right idea about yoga, exercising, etc.... It is nuts that you can't get an Rx. I'm not shy about my PPA/PPD either. I'm still doing good because of the medication and the only thing that is bringing me down now is my weight gain. I can tell the Zoloft is working because before I went on it I couldn't eat. Now I'm not exercising and eating like crap which is really bringing me down. Have to do something fast! Good luck Momma! |
 | Comment from pbc910 » Posted Jul. 19, 2016 10:08am I would think your PCP can give you a RX...mine does and if I had to go through ANOTHER doctor, I'd be pissed. I already see so many anyway it seems. I am sending positive vibes something good happens and you can be seen before Sept! |
| Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted Jul. 18, 2016 11:39am Pbc, it's crazy! Lol. I'm currently planning my son's 2nd birthday (which is in 2 weeks), and after that I need to start planning Valerie's. It has gone by so fast! I feel like I blinked and BOOM! 8 months gone! Lol. I have an appointment with the PCP September 8th, and I am really hoping she can expedite the referral to mental health, or even possibly give me a script for meds to hold me over until I can get in. I think it's insane you have to wait so long to get help if and when you need it. |
| Comment from pbc910 » Posted Jul. 18, 2016 10:35am Really...how is it possible!?!! I was thinking about it yesterday. Our babies will be 1 year old in only 4 months!!!!! These past couple months have gone by so fast. We have reached the pull-up stage too and they are both close to standing as they pull up just haven't quite figured it out. She is just soooo cute and always so happy. I am not shy about telling people about PPD/PPA...for me it was more anxiety and I still have bouts of it even with medication. There is too much focus on motherhood being some glorious, happy thing all the time. It's tough! I hope you can get into to see a doctor as soon as it's possible. Our healthcare works the same way, everything has to go through PCP and it's often so tedious. It's just such a barrier for people who need help, whether mental or physical. |
| Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted Jul. 18, 2016 10:15am Thank you, on both accounts. Valerie is doing amazingly well, and she is such a happy, sassy baby. She's got sass for miles. Lol. As far as the ppd, I find it amazing that for as common as it is, it is still a taboo topic. I know talking about my ppd will not change that, but I hope that by opening up about it, it will encourage others to do the same. It's OK to open up about it. It's more than ok. |
| Comment from Starmama14 » Posted Jul. 18, 2016 9:54am Aww...what a cutie! Glad shes doing so well! And thank you for your openness on you ppd. I had it only temporarily after having my first - can't imagine what you are going through. Thankfully, you also recognize it and are doing what you can too. Hang in there mama - you are doing great! :) |
