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prinder's Pregnancy
My Due Date: January 12, 2015I have given birth!
Age: 38 years old
Location: Norwich, United Kingdom
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Fourteen Days And...
By prinder » Posted Dec. 29, 2014 5:16am - 613 views - 4 comments
Maybe some more? Statistically speaking, as this is my first child, I'm looking at my Estimated Due Date and instead of thinking of it as D-day, I [i]should[/i] be adding another WEEK to the wait period, but I don't want to and you can't make me!
There was a bit of excitement over the holiday weekend. It (un?)fortunately did not amount for much; what had happened was I [u]thought[/u] my waters had broken as I was finishing up going to the bathroom. Long story short: a trip to the delivery unit and a swab test showed that was a negative and all I have now to show for my drama is snippy judgement from certain members of my husband's family and slight embarrassment at getting so excited so early from my own - me included.
So what was it if it wasn't amniotic fluid? We will never know for sure, but best educated guess of the midwives is that it was cervical mucus of the wet and watery kind. Yes that's a bit TMI, but it is better to share these things so others can learn to not be me and get in a tizzy too soon. It should be noted that it's still better to play it safe and assume it was waters breaking than to ignore it - had it been the real deal, that could be dangerous so, for all that I'm red in the face and catching undue flack I will forego any feelings of guilt at raising the flag preemptively. I did the right thing.
But what sort of noise am I hearing from my in-laws? Ridiculous things, to be honest. None of which should be entertained because they are either based on out-dated information or limited experiences, largely all born out of myths and misconceptions about women and labour on a whole.
That doesn't stop us from being curious, though does it? Nope, so here's what my DH has been told by his mother:
1. All women give birth the same
Why this is BS: Every pregnancy is different, for a start. Frankly, if there was any truth to this, it would correspond with experiences of those in my own family - they don't. If it was all the same, there would be no c-sections, all babies would be born after the same number of days in gestation, periods would all work and be exactly alike, symptoms during pregnancy would be universal across the board with everyone getting the same symptoms/cravings/whatever at the exact same number of days the baby has been growing, etc. al.... the reasons why this makes zero sense is a list that runs on forever.
2. My contractions weren't real - as in, I lied about them.
Why this is BS: When DH can touch my bump and feel the difference in the tension between when I'm having a contraction and when I am not, the assumption that they are faked or false is kind of blown out of the water. Moreover, she wouldn't know because she isn't in my body and she doesn't know my pain threshold or frankly anything about anything about me. I never said once that they were anything more than mild, irregular, contractions that didn't hurt - the very definition of Braxton-Hick's contractions. To assume that even this is a fallacy is, frankly, an insult to my intelligence. I'm far more capable of coming up with better things to lie about than that.
3. all women have their waters break in a gush
Why this is BS: While the gush of amniotic fluid pooling on the floor may be promoted by TV and movies, many hundreds of thousands of women can attest that their experience was quite different. It can come in a gush, a drip, a drizzle - some may not even realise that their waters have broken at all - and it's all normal.
My Journal
Fourteen Days And...
By prinder » Posted Dec. 29, 2014 5:16am - 613 views - 4 comments
Maybe some more? Statistically speaking, as this is my first child, I'm looking at my Estimated Due Date and instead of thinking of it as D-day, I [i]should[/i] be adding another WEEK to the wait period, but I don't want to and you can't make me!
There was a bit of excitement over the holiday weekend. It (un?)fortunately did not amount for much; what had happened was I [u]thought[/u] my waters had broken as I was finishing up going to the bathroom. Long story short: a trip to the delivery unit and a swab test showed that was a negative and all I have now to show for my drama is snippy judgement from certain members of my husband's family and slight embarrassment at getting so excited so early from my own - me included.
So what was it if it wasn't amniotic fluid? We will never know for sure, but best educated guess of the midwives is that it was cervical mucus of the wet and watery kind. Yes that's a bit TMI, but it is better to share these things so others can learn to not be me and get in a tizzy too soon. It should be noted that it's still better to play it safe and assume it was waters breaking than to ignore it - had it been the real deal, that could be dangerous so, for all that I'm red in the face and catching undue flack I will forego any feelings of guilt at raising the flag preemptively. I did the right thing.
But what sort of noise am I hearing from my in-laws? Ridiculous things, to be honest. None of which should be entertained because they are either based on out-dated information or limited experiences, largely all born out of myths and misconceptions about women and labour on a whole.
That doesn't stop us from being curious, though does it? Nope, so here's what my DH has been told by his mother:
1. All women give birth the same
Why this is BS: Every pregnancy is different, for a start. Frankly, if there was any truth to this, it would correspond with experiences of those in my own family - they don't. If it was all the same, there would be no c-sections, all babies would be born after the same number of days in gestation, periods would all work and be exactly alike, symptoms during pregnancy would be universal across the board with everyone getting the same symptoms/cravings/whatever at the exact same number of days the baby has been growing, etc. al.... the reasons why this makes zero sense is a list that runs on forever.
2. My contractions weren't real - as in, I lied about them.
Why this is BS: When DH can touch my bump and feel the difference in the tension between when I'm having a contraction and when I am not, the assumption that they are faked or false is kind of blown out of the water. Moreover, she wouldn't know because she isn't in my body and she doesn't know my pain threshold or frankly anything about anything about me. I never said once that they were anything more than mild, irregular, contractions that didn't hurt - the very definition of Braxton-Hick's contractions. To assume that even this is a fallacy is, frankly, an insult to my intelligence. I'm far more capable of coming up with better things to lie about than that.
3. all women have their waters break in a gush
Why this is BS: While the gush of amniotic fluid pooling on the floor may be promoted by TV and movies, many hundreds of thousands of women can attest that their experience was quite different. It can come in a gush, a drip, a drizzle - some may not even realise that their waters have broken at all - and it's all normal.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from prinder » Posted Jan. 4, 2015 3:15am Many thanks to everyone for the support and advice for dealing with MIL. I've already filled my DH in about what/how things were misconceptions on his mother's part and reminded him that, even if he didn't want to ask me (unlikely) accurate and up-to-date information is a google-search away. |
 | Comment from Papas~Mama » Posted Jan. 3, 2015 3:49pm Sorry your MIL is so ignorant. It's especially frustrating when you're more educated than older people, it's hard to teach an old dog's new tricks, lol. Guess you'll just have to let it go in one ear and out the other. YOU know that you know, and that's what's important. People should also try to be more understanding, because as this is your first child, you don't necessarily know what's normal and what's not! It's always better to be safe than sorry. You're right, you did the right thing. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise! Also, only 10% of women have their waters break before labor begins, and most of those do not experience a gush. Maybe you could look some information up on your computer from a credible source to show to your husband so at least he's not clueless about what's going on with you. I'm having a home water birth too. You'll be great! Don't forget...just when you think you can't do this anymore(and you will think that!), that's when it's almost over...:) |
 | Comment from Sianny » Posted Dec. 29, 2014 6:47am The older generation aren't well informed because most of them learnt from their parents and don't really remember, while in very early labour my FIL couldn't understand why I wasn't at the hospital no matter how many times I explained they would just send me home during the early stages. Both my waters have gone during confirmed labour, my son was in the early stages at about 6cm but Thea was with my first push just before she arrived. Neither my parents (before my sisters pregnancy) or my inlaws have ever heard of Braxton Hicks as they were all called either false labour or warm up contractions probably because that's what they were called back then rather than their formal name. Don't let it get to you too much although this late in the pregnancy it's going to be hard to block their comments out. Stay strong hun x x x |
 | Comment from hopejosh » Posted Dec. 29, 2014 6:24am Sounds a lot like my mother in law. I try to stay away as much as possible. Easier said than done, I know. Anyone with a brain and common sense would know every pregnancy \ birth is different. I've got 7 days left til my c section. Good luck to you. |
