Log In | Sign Up Now | Help & Support
Need Advice? Ask Your Question

Questions & Answers

Category: Is It Safe?

Asked by a member

Q: Is my boyfriend right or wrong? please help me

Well, I have been doing alot of thinking lately and have realised I am always alone. I dont know if its becuase im pregnant or what but it seems my boyfriend gets home from work, goes and sits out in the shed for two hours and smokes a couple of joints, by the time he comes in im asleep. Everynight! I feel like I have not seen him in ages... On the weekend he will take me to see a movie on a friday night but the rest of the weekend he has friends over. Is this okay or not on?? How would you take it? He does work hard and I dont want him to feel like he HAS to change every life style habit to suit the way I am at the moment but is smoking in the shed everynight for two hours okay? Im so confused. I MISS HIM

This question was asked Mar. 22, 2012 10:52pm
Category: Is It Safe?

Answer This Question
Answered by dfregeg - Oct. 4, 2012 4:50am
When the woman I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone to several casters and I got no results or insufficient ones. I found winexbackspell@gmail.com and gave another try to retrieve my lover and restore the passionate relationship I had with her. I�m so glad I did and trusted him. He performed a spiritual cleansing to banish negative energies and cast a love spell. After 4days, the man I missed dearly started to call me and told me few days ago that she still loves me and wants to try again. Thank him fo me.

320 out of 628 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Oct. 4, 2012 4:50am
When the woman I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone to several casters and I got no results or insufficient ones. I found winexbackspell@gmail.com and gave another try to retrieve my lover and restore the passionate relationship I had with her. I�m so glad I did and trusted him. He performed a spiritual cleansing to banish negative energies and cast a love spell. After 4days, the man I missed dearly started to call me and told me few days ago that she still loves me and wants to try again. Thank him fo me.

319 out of 628 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 26, 2012 2:55am
i agree people can change but not always because you want them to. they have to want it too. thats all im saying. [:

Its nice having someone who can finally relate to my situation. several of my friends are pregnant as well and all have supporting boyfriends. I get jealous at times, but thats normal. my bf does smoke on occasion, but thats him and its when im not around. i have my job to do and if hes gonna be like this then thats on him. i cant worry about him, i worry enough as it is lol. We arent married to these guys and yes we are having babies with them, but this wasnt planned, at least not for me. But im going to be the best mom i can be and im sure you will be too. And who knows maybe they will change like everyone says they will haha [:

306 out of 609 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2012 12:39pm
The question as to whether he is right or wrong. I think he is wrong, no doubt about it. People can change by the way, but not just by telling them to. Honestly, some family counselling may be a good idea to address how to handle the future. You two are tied now, and if he is trying to escape now, it's not going to get easier. That's my personal opinion, and it may be strong, but if my husband hadn't been there for me the whole 9 months, I would be quite worried as to my future with him as the father of my child and his support of me.

We had counselling several years ago for a different reason and it worked wonders on our relationship. But both of you need to see that there is a problem and at least consider that working together may need to happen.

293 out of 583 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by JLMarks - Mar. 23, 2012 12:32pm
I went through this the first trimester of my pregnancy (I actually named one of my journals "My husband the ass"). He would get home and start working on the house which always included a few beers and he wouldn't come in until 7:30 at night. I got so annoyed I finally flipped. I told him that I can't take being all by myself and yes I know its probably my hormones but I need more support from you plus this is the last time it will be the two of us. After a couple rants and the last being a tear filled plea he has gotten his act together. He now doesn't even drink at all. I wish I had more advice for you but know you are not alone.

307 out of 595 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2012 3:14am
I am 21 and my boyfriend is 20!

Yes thats exactly right, its not so much the fact he smokes, its the way he has distanced himself from me!! And I dont understand why!

You are right, there are only so many times you can tell them but some people are who they are! Its easier said that done leaving him coz he has been distanced when there is a baby involved!

I would love to talk sometime how are we going to do this haha

xxxxxx

298 out of 582 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2012 1:58am
i can in some way relate to you. my bf and i were great and communicated well before i became pregnant. Now that i am he does seem distant. How old are you guys if you dont mind me asking? i will be 20 in august and my bf will be 21 in august as well. We used to go out and just enjoy our time together but its like now he wont do that. I understand this isnt what he wanted right now in life but it is happening whether he is ready or not. i know you want to keep the peace between you two and i am the same way. everyones telling me he will come around once the baby is here but im not gonna count on it. we both need to realize that we can only count on ourselves. our babies need us they dont need us worrying about our bfs its added stress. maybe confronting their bfs or husbands helped other women here but u cant change a person. u can tell them how they act makes u feel but u cant change them. thats my advice i hope it helps. if you ever wanna talk or vent im here. [:

321 out of 609 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2012 1:13am
Also if he needs to have fun before the baby comes in that way, he's probably not ready for a baby. I've worked with and around alot of people, and also I have seen alot of broken homes in my using days (and sober days) even just from people who smoked. One person wanted to have a kid and was ready for it (maybe not completely) and the other wanted to continue on living their old life and didnt want the responsibilty of taking care of another life. Usually the one parent would end up taking care of everything and in my experience once the baby came the other person would begin smoking pot even more regularly. It is a form of escape and he's definitely not dealing with reality if he spends two hours smoking in the shed every evening.

301 out of 585 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2012 1:04am
I definitely dont agree with the last comment, not everyone does that. I definitely dont and neither does my husband. Despite what people think about weed, its not healthy or good in any way. It can cause alot of damage to the person smoking including slowed reaction time and an increased chance of schizophrenia. Also people who smoke weed have one of the highest risks of drug induced psychosis. Being an herbalist I see absolutely no reason for this herb, hemp however is very helpful. I look at marijuana as more of a poisonoius herb personally. Also having substance abuse as part of my degree and being a recovering alcoholic damage I know how damage this can be because it is a drug. But what he does now is what he does, it is highly addictive despite what is normally said about it. He may be damaging himself but I definitely wouldnt let him do this around baby. and oh weed is also a form of escape, and he may not be dealing with the reality that you guys are going to be having a baby

289 out of 575 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answered by Marisa0125 - Mar. 23, 2012 12:43am
I feel like since I've been pregnant I need to be protected emotionally and physically by my husband. I personally think what your b/f is doing is wrong. For people to say "well he needs to get it out of his system before baby comes" is total b.s. what about what you need before the baby comes? Alone time with him, dinner, movies, cuddles. My husband did a couple weeks of "acting out" which made me livid. I finally put my foot down and let him know his behavior was unacceptable. He agreed and knew it was time to grow up. You might need to speak up with him. Good luck xoxo

293 out of 566 found this answer helpful
Was this answer helpful?  YesNo


Answer This Question

You are not logged in.
Log in or Register to post an answer to this question.