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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by wotacutey

Q: Anyone doing it alone?

I recently convinced myself me & my bf were splittin up but I wanted to pay off his credit card before I told him so that he wasnâ??t left in debt. After a very down day I slept wiv my ex, father to my 4 year old daughter. I then found on this week that I am pregnant & although I suspect it may be my exs, there is still a small chance that it is my bfâ??s. I have told him, & he wants it to be his as he thinks we can make it work. But my ex also really wants it to be his & wants to give it another go. It would b nice to b a proper family with him & our daughter but I feel so guilty 2wards my bf. I donâ??t know what 2 do for the best. I am terrified of dealin with a 5 (by then) year old & a new baby, while holding down a full time job. I dunno if I could afford my house on maternity pay either. Ive decided that I am going to get a non invasive pre-natal paternity test but I cant do that for another 7 weeks & im sure this stress isnt good!!

This question was asked Jul. 4, 2012 1:51pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (14)

Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 9, 2012 8:59am

my bf was meant to be moving out for a bit, but we got on amazing yesterday. I thought id finaly sussed it but then i saw my ex getting photos from girls online (his email is still sent to me from his job application days). I was devestated. He says since "i cant have what i desperately want i might as well look around, but i instantly realised i dont want anyone but you"

Im seeing a counsellor on wed! My bf now has his hopes up that we are making it work, but as i explained to him, we cannot hide the facts from his family and they wont ever give us their blessing now! They are strict Catholic!

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Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 6, 2012 8:07am

Told my ex yesterday there was no chance, no way and told my bf i wanted to make it work. My bf came home last night and i couldnt help but think id blown it with my ex and made a mistake. My head is being so indecisive! I think my ex has my heart but my bf has my head, bf's good on paper but ex is better in bed lol Ryhme of the day to ease my distress :oD

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Answered by Razzle_ - Jul. 5, 2012 5:14pm

Sounds like your ex has had plenty of opportunity to step up...! Anyway don't beat yourself up about what's happened, you have been honest and trying to fix it - that's the main thing! Also just a little thing on who the dad might be, sperm can hang around before the egg is released. I had sex five days before i ovulated - so maybe you just never know what can happen!

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Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 5, 2012 1:57pm

Lmao my and my ex were very much in love, we got married within 6 weeks and had my daughter a year after we met. he treat me like shit, but to be fair i wasnt the easiest to live with. We split up by my choice when she was 3 motnhs and i did it all alone with him visiting weekends. We have tried annually to make it work and it never does. Why wuold this be any different? He talks about changing his ways and making an effort but he is the person katty perry is singing about in that hot and cold song!!! My bf is safe, stable, dependable and reliable.. yes that sounds boring, but its my baby i have to think of!

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Answered by a member - Jul. 5, 2012 1:35pm

sounds like u want ur ex :) dont worry,not passing judgement because i am in a similar situation

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Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 5, 2012 8:11am

I love my boyfriend and despite his faults i still think we could make this work and be happy. My ex is a maniputative control freak and he thinks he can click his fingers and ill come running. I want is despertately to be my bf's but there is only a slim chance of that. Ill have to pray bloody hard! We cannot do the paternity tests until 10 weeks in and im only 4+3 so yeah itll be a long wait. My bf is talking of moving out until we get the results and my ex is asking me to move in!!!! i wish my ex would leave me alone and my bf would stop hurting! ive made a mess of everyting.

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Answered by Razzle_ - Jul. 4, 2012 9:17pm

Who do you want to be the father? You mentioned taking a test to determine who the dad is, so I think its going to be a waiting game. In the mean time I would have a serious think about what I wanted relationship wise regardless of the results.

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Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 4, 2012 9:04pm

I have mu ex husband in tears telling me he wants it to be his and that he wants me back. Then my bf, who I live with has his heart set on it being his. It kills me that this baby is gonna hurt someone so much before its even born.

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Answered by Razzle_ - Jul. 4, 2012 5:35pm

i was left homeless after my son was born too. I have our own place now and my career which i have built from nothing..Im petrified i will be left struggling again. You sound like you have had similar experiences to me and I think it helps to remember how much we have and can achieve. I have a lot of faith that I will fight through and be better at the end of it, Im sure you can too x

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Answered by wotacutey - Jul. 4, 2012 2:58pm

Me and my ex were together all through the last pregnancy, although to be honest he wasnt much help! We split up when she was only three months old and i found myself in a homeless shelter with her on our own. It was the hardest thing i have done in my life and then i wasnt working! Now i have a full time job to try and keep hold of. I cant imagnie i will be able to afford much maternity leave. I know my little girl will be a help too but im still terrified

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