Questions & Answers

I agree with a lot of these posts, this is very insulting to us who are getting baby showers. This is my second pregnancy and my first one I didn't get one (not that I'm complaining.) and we didn't want one because we were embarrassed about having a baby when I was only 17. This time I am older and with a guy who actually cares and I know two different people who are going to throw me baby showers because this is something to be happy about and celebrate. I'm making a registry so people know what we still need and don't end up getting us thing that we don't need. A few people I know didn't make a registry so I got them baby tubs, only to find out that they already had one. That's why a registry is important. I don't expect people to go out and by expensive gifts, and I don't expect ANYONE to get us anything big. My step mom got me a second hand high chair for $4 and I LOVE it. I didn't expect it. And my FIL also told us not to by a crib because he would. It's not being selfish at all.

Not everyone is like that...BUT i can understand where youre coming from. A certain relative of mine just recently had her baby. After her babyshower her and her husband bitched and moaned about people not "following the registry" WHAT A BUNCH OF UNGRATEFUL BRATS!!!!!! One of our mutual friends could not make it to the shower, so my relatives sister told her THATS FINE, JUST DONT FORGET TO SEND YOUR GIFT! People like that make me sick to my stomach, and i wish i could take back the stuff i bought for them! They acted the same way after their wedding, and i should have known better!

As my mother says, the registry is a guideline for people that arent sure of what to buy, so i dont think there is anything wrong with a registry as long as you have items of different price points on there.

I think a registry is a good thing, why would you want people to buy you stuff that you don't need or already have? For my wedding shower I registered for things I thought I could use and that I needed, but two of my cousins ended up getting me things that I already had, a rice cooker and a crock pot! I gave those items to my family who needed them because I had no reason to keep them. Unless you want a bunch of gifts that you don't need, why would you not do a registry? Many people just buy you what they want, but many others try and want to give you something useful that you need, because they love you and want you to have it, not because you expect it! I feel excited to buy people things that I know they will like, what is wrong with that?

I don't think that having a baby shower makes you a selfish greedy person, though there are people like that who only want expensive name brand things. That does not mean we are ALL like that, and you should register for a variety of gifts, meaning not every single gift should be expensive. People can choose what kind of gift to give, whether it is just some bubble bath or a stroller. I have an aunt who enjoys buying expensive things and some friends who are totally broke. I would never ask anyone for more than they can give, even if they give nothing I would still want them at the shower to play games. It is a celebration of the baby!!!! I love second hand gently used items too. (Except carseats, that is dangerous to buy second hand). It is fun to have a wish list, that does not mean that people will get you what you ask for, they get you what they think you need. In my mind, baby showers are tradition, I don't know a single person who was pregnant that didn't have one.

I agree with a couple of the posts that this post is kind of a rude assumption of people. As I realize that there are a lot of rude and selfish people in this world, but just because someone is receiving a baby shower does not mean they are those people! In my next of the woods, all my friends and family have received showers for all their children. And I can honestly say that I know NONE of them expected it or acted selfishly about it! I threw a shower for all my nieces and nephews because I want to celebrate every single beautiful miracle! A shower is for celebrating a LIFE! Thats a big deal to me! I don't feel the least bit "put out" for buying a gift for a dear friend or family member in this situation! My Mom, sister, and SIL are throwing me a shower for my 2nd baby. I didn't ask them too nor did I EXPECT it! I will not register for anything ridiculous of course and no one I know would! I feel honored and blessed that they want to celebrate my sweet baby!

I agree with addie02 this is kind of offensive. I had a baby shower for my 1st and I intend to have one for my 2nd child NOT for the gifts as u Rudly seem to think people have them for but because it is a way of celebrating a new life coming into the family at the shower I said to every guest when they rang their RSVP your presence is required not your presents however each person still brought something small like and outfit or facewasher a or books or toys for DD the shower I did hAve was only one side of my family as my mother does t get along with my fathers side but I never had the chance to have my second shower as my DD was born early and I was deathly ill . I insisted that all of the women that did come share insight and knowledge that got written into a book for my to keep this was all I expected from them knowledge from the previous generation .i intend on doing the ame thing for this baby and while we have got almost everything from our DD.

As far as I see it, the big things (crib, stroller, carseat, etc) should be bought by the parents, and not expected that the family/friends purchase them. I know a couple here that are younger, the Mom won't work, go to school, etc., and she is just sitting back waiting for everyone else to buy everything. This is COMPLETELY wrong! If you're old enough to make a baby, you're old enough to take responsibility for that child as well, and not depend on others to make the purchases for you. I was 17 when I had my daughter- I worked fulltime, finished my grade 12 at night and went onto finish a college course as well. There are ways around every situation.
Baby showers should be used as a celebration of the birth of a child, not as a money/gift grab. There were a few people who came to my shower, and didn't bring a gift, which I didn't care about at all. I'd rather have my friends/family there knowing that they're excited and supportive than to receive gifts!
Just my two cents :)

First of all, this question is really insulting to those of us who like showers for the celebration, not the "stuff." Really, who gets pregnant just to get expensive gifts?

For my family & friends, babies are a BIG DEAL and baby showers are just a way to celebrate that. Gift-giving is a nice tradition, and I know MANY women I know love an excuse to shop for baby items or craft baby-appropriate gifts, but it's not about expecting people to buy your baby everything.

I agree, EXPECTING people to buy expensive things you put on a registry is tacky. And baby showers with gifts for second or third babies is excessive. But that doesn't mean showers in general are selfish bids for gifts.

Personally, I know my sister is planning a shower for me, and I know my family is going to want to give gifts; a registry is just a way to give ideas for a few basic things we need so we don't get a lot of stuff we don't. It's not being greedy, it's practical, and there is no expectatio

This is our first, and we will be having a baby shower, my mom and MIL already told me that. We are buying the big things used (except for the carseat which will be new, however we are still going to purchase). I really want to do a themed nursery, but I an not going to ask anyone to pay outrageous amounts for say 3 washcloths. I really don't see anything wrong with having a baby shower, especially if its your first baby - people will think of things to get me that I won't even know I needed. I don't see having a baby shower for your 2nd child of the same gender, or your 5th child. I personally don't see anything wrong with someone throwing you a baby shower, so long as you're not asking them to do it.

i see why some people have a shower with their first baby. after all it IS their first baby, and a shower is kind of like a celebration..often times family WANTS to help out and join in on the excitement.. but a baby registry is a bit odd if you ask me... you are getting the gifts for nothing, so to tell the people exactly what to buy you seems more then rude.. I would be sad if i didnt have the experience of a shower but i do agree that with second and third babys, a shower seems selfish.