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Category: Newly Pregnant

Asked by kelliers

Q: Feeling slighted by husband's strong preference for boy

This sounds really dumb but my husband adamantly doesn't want a girl. I have said in these discussions reasons why I'd love either a boy or a girl (this is our first) but he always says "Nope, I want a boy". It makes me feel like he won't be happy if its a girl! I know that he will but....the way he talks it's like there's a 50% chance he'll be upset and no one should be upset when they're having a baby. I tried explaining to him but he says he's just kidding. Has anyone else had to deal with this with their husband or other family members? I wish people wouldn't tell me they want it to be one or the other-just be happy we're having anything at all, damnit!

This question was asked May. 22, 2013 5:58pm
Category: Newly Pregnant

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Answered by Mommaspike - May. 28, 2013 4:50pm
I am 27wks pregnant with mine & my husband's 1st child together (he has a son and I have a daughter) for years now he has said he only makes boys (yes he only has one son but it's a macho pride thing i guess) When I found out i was pregnant my husband instantly referred to my belly by the name we picked out for a boy. He even started telling people it was a boy before we even knew. When we went in for my US he gave a play by play "oh look at him, he is doing flips, oh look at his heart" then the tech said it was a girl he sat down & was silent. I felt terrible like i did something to let him down. For about a week he didn't mention the baby nor touch my belly, he finally admitted that he is afraid he isn't going to know how to be a dad to a girl because he doesn't know girl things. It all subsided and he talks about her all the time telling her to come out soon. Its normal and as hard as it may be try not to take it personal, he will get over it and love your baby!

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Answered by Sherry52210 - May. 28, 2013 7:33am
If your 1st or his first... Most men want boys. I'm having my 3rd but his first. Since day we found out he says boy only. I have both already but want a girl again. It's a battle right now but i make it fun. He always says he or him when talking about the baby and in turn I say her or she. He says he will have a heart attack if the baby is a girl and I say we'll we will be at dr office when we find out and they will take care of you. At first it bothered me thinking he would be disappointed but since I have had a baby I know once that baby is born it won't matter one bit to either of us so I just turn it into a joke.

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Answered by shawna_leigh - May. 24, 2013 2:36pm
My husband is the EXACT SAME WAY! It gets kind of frustrating after awhile. My mom and I both think it'll be a girl and we kind of tease him about it and he gets pissy. Last night he said to me, "you're gna be really disappointed when it's a boy and I'm right" I said "nooo, I'm happy with either one!"

I think he's just scared he'll be wrapped around a girls little finger. lol We'll see on July 2nd! :)

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Answered by Tottie36 - May. 24, 2013 10:50am
I remember clearly when I had my 3 rd boy with my now ex my mother in law came down,threw a parcel at me,
Stating " I wanted a girl'
Ironic as it was our second child was a girl and the month following the birth of my 3 rd boy (4 child) my motherinlaw bought HER a truck!!!!!
Good ,luck

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Answered by ShannonLanie - May. 23, 2013 11:17am
i agree with the other posters, but if it does turn out to be a girl, and he tries to act upset, politely remind him that it is infact his sperm that determines the babys sex! lol right now my whole family is pushing for a girl, and i worry they might be disapointed if its not, but im happy with either gender amd im sure your dh will be in the end. best of luck hun!

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Answered by Tottie36 - May. 23, 2013 10:04am
I was a mum of 3 boys and one girl and for my 5 th I wanted another girl...
When my 4 th boy was born I said to the midwife..
"I don't want him I want a girl" for literally mins and now 12 years on I wouldn't swap him for the world... Swap him for quieter and cleaner but not for the world..
So it's normal and he will be so engrossed with you being in labour whatever u have and do remember its the male that dictate the gender he will be delighted with either.. Good luck x

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Answered by 2ndbub4Tam - May. 22, 2013 9:42pm
Totally normal for you to feel a little sensitive about your husbands comment. It's a normal male thing. With our first pregnancy we both 'felt' like we were having a boy as we didn't fid out the sex. We had a little girl and we both were over the moon. Now we are expecting again ad my hubby say's only boy names and says it's a boy all the time. This time we are finding out the sex. We both don't mind if it is another girl.

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Answered by kelliers - May. 22, 2013 9:21pm
Thanks guys! Maybe I am a little hormonal ;)

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Answered by hopefullll - May. 22, 2013 8:15pm
I do agree with both comments and would not worry at all. I have a preference of a girl simply because I have a son and would love one of each. That being said, I could ultimately care less and would be tickled pink with either. I think there is a difference in what he prefers as his first born and what he needs to be happiest. Sadly, in some cultures men are only truly happiest when they get their boy. If he would be happiest with a boy vs. a girl then I'd say you have reason to be upset but it sounds like he maybe just likes the idea of the boy being the oldest. Which I do to lol. I was the second born and my bro is my bestie so I think I like the idea of older boy, younger girl. Don't read into it too much:)

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Answered by brittthomp4 - May. 22, 2013 8:08pm
My husband was the same way when we had our first. I dreaded the 20 week ultrasound because I didn't want him to be disappointed and he was already calling the baby a "he". I think its normal for men to want boys first. But honestly it all changed a minute before we got to see the baby on ultrasound. He sat and stared and said " I am seeing pig tails now, its a girl" Indeed we found out we were having a girl! And after the ultrasound he was soooooooo excited for a little girl and all thoughts of boy left and he has never regretted having a little girl first. It doesn't matter what you have, you both will love the baby and be so proud to show him or her off to the world :)

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