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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by lyssa787

Q: Calling Social Services on Family ...part TWO

....there was no car seat cover even! Just a little blanket thrown over it. When I got him inside his feet were blue and freezing :( There were a couple other signs of possible neglect other that seemed pretty minor - his nails looked like they had never been trimmed, they were hard & long & were even dirty underneath - idk how that even happens. So he was all scratched up. the kid is tiny but all she brought was size 3-6 month clothes & size 1 diapers. I put him in my son's old newborn stuff & it fit perfectly. My question is...Am I just too close to this being that she's my cousin so I'm worried about nothing, or are these actually serious things as a whole, that I should do something about. I'm pretty worried for the kid so i sent some newborn diapers & a snowsuit home with him. My gut is telling me to make a call, but I don't want to start drama for nothing :( We're trying for a second & I don't want to come off as "holier than thou" but I want

This question was asked Jan. 1, 2014 2:19pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by lyssa787 - Jan. 2, 2014 2:29am

Also, I didn't mean to offend anyone or say this was an age thing. my hubby and I are also in our early twenties. I just wanted to make it clear that she's married so it's not a case of an accidental pregnancy. She and her husband are very young, but they say they planned this kid. Sorry about the way i worded that

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Answered by lyssa787 - Jan. 2, 2014 2:26am

Thank you so much ladies!! I really appreciate all the input. After talking it through with my husband, I've decided to keep in touch with her and try to keep an eye on the situation. If I see any more serious signs I will call. For now I don't really have anything to say since I just gave them a snow suit for him. She could deny it and I would still be nowhere. Hopefully this was somewhat of an eye opener for her. If not, I will pursue things. Thank you again!!

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Answered by cjsmamma08 - Jan. 2, 2014 12:12am

i do agree that age is not the issue here i got pregnant at 17 and had him at 18 and my son has always been very well taken care of by me and his father we dont send him to sitters unless its an emergency situation we have always taken care of him and made sure he was dresses properly he is now 5 1/2 and has nicer things than i do i always make sure he gets what he needs before i spend money on myself and if i ever need any help i make sure i find some way to get it so that my child doesnt have to do without... i sure hope that something can set her straight because if not she can cause her baby to get pneumonia and/or worse! there really is no excuse for it either its pure lazyness or just lack of giving a s*** but there is no reasonable excuse for it so like i said before do what you deep down believe is the right thing!

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Answered by cjsmamma08 - Jan. 2, 2014 12:04am

in all honesty i would do what you feel is best it took me a little while to talk myself into it because i knew my husband wouldnt see eye to eye with me but i did it and now they are helping her get her stuff straight or they will take the kids which either would be best for them but you dont want to risk that little ones health so what ever you feel is best is what i would do....

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Answered by cjsmamma08 - Jan. 2, 2014 12:02am

i have a sister in law that is the same way she has 4 kids and never takes care of them, her youngest is 9 months old and she has only had one set of shots and that is because i took her to get them well her mom let her medical and everything go to heck so her dr will no longer see her because she has no insurance and at 9 months old she should have way more than her first set of shots but also since she was behind on shots her wic was taken away from her so i have been buying food and formula and stuff for her but i have had her for a month straight because they lived with me up until a month ago and i had to tell her mom when to change her, feed her and what to feed her until she was 7 months old all she was being fed was formula, no cereal no baby food no nothing its horrible may be mean but i called on my sister in law for neglecting her kids because she dresses them poorly doesnt have water and doesnt feed them but my nieces and nephew are more important than her feelings

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Answered by Lou_85 - Jan. 1, 2014 7:46pm

I would call, that way social services can keep an eye on situation. There's too many horror stories in news lately about child neglect. I don't understand how they don't have the common sense to dress the baby accordingly to the weather. That's ridiculous.

If you let it go and wait it out, you will feel guilty if something happens the baby. Maybe they just need some help and don't want to ask. If I was you I would call straight away, you can call them and voice concerns without having to give your details and your cousin finding out.

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Answered by Queenmommy0914 - Jan. 1, 2014 7:14pm

That is really sad :( My sister is 19 and she takes way better care of my nephew.

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Answered by tasha* - Jan. 1, 2014 4:48pm

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my eldest and can assure you he was dressed appropriately for the weather, I personally don't think age is an issue here, sorry!!

I would tell the social, better to be safe than sorry. They will give her the guidance that she needs.

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Answered by Bostonmama08 - Jan. 1, 2014 3:41pm

I'd also set up a playdate or a time just to hang out soon. Scope things out. If this keeps being a pattern, then make the call. She either may be clueless being 19 and having a newborn or she may truly not be a good mother. Hard to tell yet....

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Answered by babylove14 - Jan. 1, 2014 3:38pm

I agree that you should call. If social services is already working with them it might be beneficial for them and the child to know what you have seen. It is better to be safe than sorry. Also, they know the signs of neglect so they might be better able to judge the situation, especially since they have some background on the family from whatever they have been doing with them. Was the baby small at birth or a premie? I wouldn't expect newborn clothes to fit a 2 month old.

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