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Category: Newly Pregnant

Asked by bonitta

Q: Mommies, I need all of you to enlighten my mind with your heartwarming advice for me.

Mommies, I'm 20, I tried to abort this fetus at 5 weeks but I didn't bleed. I regret what I did because I really didn't want to do it, I was just scared and not ready. I'm still pregnant at 8 weeks now, I heard my baby's heartbeat at 141 bpm and is growing its size which was the most special thing I ever known. I'm still worried of how can this affect my future and my life especially that the father of this baby is not talking to me anymore, how can I still succeed having a baby, would it destroy my career and life? My MIND says not to keep the baby because it will destroy my entire life but my HEART says keep the baby and even though I'll have ups and downs with it, this baby will give me priceless happiness I could ever have. My family supports me, are excited, wants me to keep the baby, they are all praying for the baby's healthy and normal life in the future. Please enlighten me with your heartwarming advice. Is continuing my pregnancy at 20 a good thing even as a single mom?Thanks

This question was asked Jan. 30, 2014 3:28am
Category: Newly Pregnant

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Answers (12)

Answered by 1stTimerTMG - Feb. 17, 2014 4:34am

I just want to encourage you. Hard times have a way of bringing out the strength in women. You are STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! Believe in yourself, and don't let NOBODY tell you that anything can completely stop you for accomplishing anything you Really want to do. Baby does not equal career assassination, dream killer, or any of that. We all have things we are going to be up against, so HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? If one perwon can do it, you can too. Keep the negativity away, and push yourself. I am praying for you, and you make the decision you can sleep at night with. Much love my sister. Be blessed.

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Answered by gotababylady - Feb. 3, 2014 1:36am

Bonnita I think you are doing the right thing for you and your baby. I don't even know you but I am very proud of you. I have prayed for you and your little one from the moment you shared your story. Adoption is defiantly a hard choice and I can understand you not being able to go though it. I think you are already on track to becoming a good mom. When you needed help you sought answers and turned to your family for support. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Have a happy and healthy 9 months !!

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Answered by bonitta - Feb. 3, 2014 1:25am

Hello Mommies. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, advice and encouragement to me. Last Saturday ( Feb.1, 2013), I went to my OB/GYN for her to read my blood tests because my hemoglobin, hematocrit and red blood cells were a bit lower than the normal, so she advised me to take an iron vitamins throughout my pregnancy, she also did an ultrasound to me, the fetus is good inside and the heartbeat was 169 beats per minute. I couldn't do an adoption for my baby so I decided to be a single mom, my family supports me a lot although they were somehow disappointed of that I got pregnant at an early age.

Some of you were lucky because even though you got pregnant at an early age you're or hubby were there on you sides but in my case, he just told me he'll be there for me and for the baby but since he left to another place, he never communicated and even blocked me on Facebook, I'm still struggling and he left me hanging. We didn't broke up, he just disappeared and left me with his words.

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Answered by FebBabyx - Jan. 30, 2014 10:55pm

Hi honey - I'm writing to you with first hand experience. I was 18 when I first found out I was pregnant with my little girl who is one next week and is the most beautiful, most important person in my life. I was scared but had my family and my partners support. I did it and I wouldn't regret it for the world. I'm now coming 21 and I'm pregnant with my second (to the same dad - we have been together 6 years and planned both children) and I could not be happier. Yes I'm young but so what? Being a mother isn't about age it's about loving and taking care of your children no matter what. I'm 20 and my partner is 21. My plan has always been to have both my children close in age then get back to my career full time which i have already started by studying at college for 2 years. You can do this. You will be an amazing mother. You can feel free to message me anytime as we are the same age it might be helpful for you. Good luck xx

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Answered by gotababylady - Jan. 30, 2014 9:28pm

When I was 15 I had my first child. I didn't feel like I could handle it. My boyfriend quickly exited the picture and my family wasn't there for me. I chose adoption. It was a hard choice but one I have never regretted. My son has a very loving family that was ready and able to take care of him when I was not. I hope that if you decide that you can't handle parenting that you too will find a family the is ready and waiting to be parents to your child as well.

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Answered by acrichton - Jan. 30, 2014 8:56pm

My best friend was 17 when she got pregnant, she finished high school at 8 months pregnant and even went to her prom. She is now 30, her daughter is 12, and she recently married the love of her life and they are going to work on her second baby soon!!! As long as you have a supportive family, you and baby will be fine!

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Answered by Sunny33 - Jan. 30, 2014 5:59pm

Don't ever let anyone convince you that your decision to try and abort was wrong. It was your choice and no one else's. People might not agree with it but that doesn't change the laws. With that being said, it didn't work and now you face different obstacles. I had my son when I was 19. Life takes a huge 180. There is no partying there is no going to house parties and the dating scene changes emensly but it won't ruin your life. Being a single mom is very tough but it's also very empowering. I went back to college when my son was two and got my nursing degree. It was a huge struggle but it's not unacheivable. You just have to have drive and motivation. I think that if you truly look into your heart you will know what's best for your baby. If you don't think you can give them the live they deserve have an open adoption where you can still visit your little one and if you think you can step up to the plate then commit to that little one and give it all the love it deserves. :)

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Answered by mrsamanda - Jan. 30, 2014 5:50pm

My best friend in high school got pregnant when we were about to turn 16. Can you imagine, 15 and pregnant? She kept the baby and went on to finish school and now at the age of 25 has 2 kids and a job and is a single mom, living in her own house, driving her own car. You can do anything you put your mind to. It sounds like you have a good heart, and you already know in your heart what you really want to do. If you have a supportive family, who needs a man? There are plenty of single moms out there whose kids are living wonderful, happy, full lives.

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Answered by Queenmommy0914 - Jan. 30, 2014 5:35pm

I was 19 when I had my baby girl. I was scared. Both sides of my family were supportive and helped me through it. When I first heard my baby girl's heart-beat, I cried :) There was a little baby that needed me! Being a mommy is tough and my little girl is very strong-willed like me! She is also beautiful, smart, and silly. She is a human being and I always thought of my baby like that even when she was as tiny as a speck. When she says, "Mommy I love you" and gives me a hug, I thank God that he has given me this little girl.

Week 8: Baby's eyes are visible

"Eight weeks into your pregnancy, or six weeks after conception, your baby's arms and legs are growing longer, and fingers have begun to form. The shell-shaped parts of your baby's ears also are forming, and your baby's eyes are visible. The upper lip and nose have formed. The trunk of your baby's body is beginning to straighten."

Your baby's heart is beating. She is a human being. She is a blessing <

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Answered by jennavee - Jan. 30, 2014 2:11pm

You've obviously got a fighter in your tummy! I urge you to consider adoption if you feel like you're not ready to be a parent. So many couples are just longing to love a little one, and it's totally understandable if you don't feel like this is right for you at this time. Adoption can be the "best of both worlds" for you and your child. It's fought so hard to stay here!
I won't sugar-coat it, having a child changes everything. Your priorities, your plans, your schedule, etc. If you're ready for that kind of thing, it's an absolutely wonderful change! If you aren't, you may still learn to adjust and share your life with your child, or you may resent the change. It's a VERY personal decision that only you can make. I highly recommend seeking a counselor to talk this through though.
My prayers are with you!

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