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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by Emz1989

Q: Stressful Mother inlaw

Ever since my boyfriends mother found out i was pregnant shes been non stop on at me. I feel like shes really trying to take over. She doesn't treat her son like a 30 year old , more like a 5 year old. Therefor she thinks she thinks she has the right to be choosing godparents and baby names. Iv had words with her already about trying to take over - but she doesn't listen. I really do like her but i feel like its putting pressure on me and yesterday i had a panic attack.
Could anyone give me some advice ? I should be looking to our baby coming not dreading the thought of how over bearing she will be!!!!

This question was asked Dec. 1, 2014 6:27am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by bubica - Jun. 16, 2015 8:42am
You need to show her some boundaries. If you don't do that at start, you're going to have problems when the baby come. She will try to take control on your lives....
I had a similar problem....

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Answered by Summertime - Feb. 22, 2015 1:17am
My MIL is the same way. I'm seven months now and she has everything planned out in her head, including what I need to wear after my son's birth at the hospital. My hubby got right with her over invading my privacy and she got angry, started crying and whining but my twat, our son, our rules! I let her reveal my baby's gender at Christmas, plan my baby shower and no matter if it's a disaster I will be surrounded by people who know exactly what I'm dealing with. In her own way I know that she is trying to be there, the worst would be if she didn't try at all. I just have to take her in spurts, and I will call when I go into labor but she's not welcome until I give the word, if she just shows she'll be sitting out in her car. You need to handle this yourself, it's your relationship with her but your man should back you up on it, no doubt!! If you stick to it with time, the least you'll get is peace in your home and respect but maybe not love. Good Luck and Play Nicely!!

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Answered by mnor0406 - Dec. 1, 2014 8:42pm
I have a pushy italian mil and my best piece of advice is to actually give her control of something to keep her busy and occupied. Something that you really don't care about is best. My mil was very pushy when my dh and I were planning our wedding and wanted to get her 2 cents in on everything from our wedding date and location to what guests we had to invite and where they had to sit. She even wanted a giant gaudy shrine with a billion candles right at the altar for my husbands grandparents who passed before he and I even met (we did find a different location for this eventually lol). It was driving me nuts so I put her in charge of the rehearsal dinner and hair appts and breakfast for the bridal party and she got so caught up in planning those that she completely forgot about keeping up with what I was planning for the actual wedding ;-)

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Answered by kvstone - Dec. 1, 2014 3:30pm
Your boyfriend needs to man up and lay down some boundaries with his mother. My husband is very good at keeping a good relationship with his parents but making it very clear they we make the decisions for what is best for our family, and they know that if they want to be a part of lives they will respect that.

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Answered by Quartz3 - Dec. 1, 2014 1:46pm
Has your boyfriend talked to her? Maybe the fact that it's coming from him would make her more likely to listen. If she still doesn't, I would just try to ignore her and go for the "smile and nod and do what I want" approach. She can suggest all the baby names she wants, but you can choose whatever name you like. You could even tell her you've decided to keep the name, or the godparents, or whatever she's nagging you with, secret until birth.

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Answered by Awind*3 - Dec. 1, 2014 7:54am
I wish I had advice for you but I know how you feel! My husbands in his 30s and I'm late 20s. My MIL has been a thorn in my side since day one and still is 1-1/2yrs later. I'm pregnant with #2 and it's always constant tension when she's around. If avoiding her helps I would. You could also be very direct and tell you'll ask for help or suggestions if needed. I hope you start feeling better and enjoy this journey.

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