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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by mich5225

Q: Father question- not sure if baby is mine. What to do?

I'm in college and had 3 time hook up with girl I barely knew. No judgement- most of us have been there. I didn't use protection the second time-February 2- because she said she was on the pill. On February 20, she tells me she is pregnant with our baby. Says last period was in December though. February 27-she goes to hospital with bleeding/cramps. Says that she lost twin, but the other baby's heartbeat is strong. I question whether it is really mine and she says she hasn't been with anyone else. Ultrasound on March 5. She won't let me go to appointment b/c I will "just ask a lot of questions and make her uncomfortable." She shows me picture. I take it on my own to another OB/GYN office and show to midwife, ob/gyn and ultrasound tech (who has 30 years experience) who say baby is 9 weeks along-was conceived about January 12, but this isn't official.

I tell her all of this. She says there was someone else, but they used protection so it couldn't have been him. What do I do

This question was asked Mar. 13, 2015 5:26pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (20)

Answered by mich5225 - May. 4, 2015 6:27pm

I am beyond excited and have to tell someone. The girl who said I am her baby's father called me over this morning to "talk." I hadn't heard from her in about a month. She said that she has determined that I am NOT the father and I don't need to worry anymore. She wanted me to know that I was "off the hook." As a 19 year old college student, I am thrilled. Thanks for everyone's support. Knowledge and information I believe really helped me show her discrepancies so that she would research her situation more.

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Answered by mich5225 - Apr. 20, 2015 2:18pm

I am the one who asked this question several weeks ago. After much deliberation and fact finding, I told her that even though I was sympathetic to her situation, I couldn't be financially or emotionally involved until paternity is established. There were just too many discrepancies in the information she was providing me. Since I told her this by text, I haven't heard from her. I thought that she would respond by saying, "If you have doubts, let me provide more information" or "why don't you come with me to my next appointment so you can ask the doctor and alleviate any concerns?" Nothing like that- just no response. Very, very strange. I am hoping I called her on her lie and she is trying to reach the guy who is more likely the father- if she really is pregnant. I don't have actual proof of that either since even her ultrasound didn't include her name, date, etc.

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Answered by zippyzap - Apr. 20, 2015 2:09pm

Hi Mich,

That sounds like a tough situation! A few side notes, I believe there are ways to test for paternity in utero, so you could know before the baby is born and decide on how involved to be. Also, I'd be asking who her insurance carrier is...in most cases the only out of pocket cost for an ultrasound would be the copay (somewhere in the $10-20 range) not a full $200 (or more) out of pocket. I'd say proceed with caution and investigate paternity testing options, and ALWAYS ask for a copy of the invoice/receipt, do not just take her work, or you'll be taken for a ride.

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Answered by mirandacrowell - Mar. 17, 2015 4:02am

idk about the size, because that looks nothing like my son's 9wks5day ultrasound but make sure there's her name, the date, the location of the ultrasound office, etc at the top. if its not there, id be asking some serious questions. if her last period was in december, even december 31st, she'd HAVE to be more than 6wks along. if the first day of her last period was december 31st, than by march 5th she'd be somewhere around 9wks along, not 6wks. and if there were twins, wouldn't that ultrasound be looking a little different? with idk, maybe 2 sacs? google that shit!! this whole thing sounds suspicious, and i know of 2 different woman whom i was friends with that faked pregnancies to keep a man around.

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Answered by mich5225 - Mar. 15, 2015 7:06pm

Thanks for telling me about the GA=Gestational Age part of the ultrasound. Seeing that the top part of my scan is cut off, that would be helpful to see. Maybe that is why it is cut off. Really feel supported. Thanks everyone.

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Answered by Swmmrgrl2 - Mar. 15, 2015 6:42pm

I also agree that it looks more like 9 weeks, judging by my 9 week ultrasound. As far as the numbers go at the top, I believe that I was told that the "cm" is how zoomed in the ultrasound picture is and not a measure of how big the baby is. I also don't believe that any of the other numbers at the top indicate the size of the baby except where it says "GA" which is gestational age and I know that the gestational age on my ultrasound is based on my last menstrual period and not how big the baby is measuring at the time.

I hope that you find an answer soon. :-)

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Answered by mich5225 - Mar. 14, 2015 4:28pm

Tmhess- thanks for directing me to your pictures. I can see the huge differences.

I am going to ask a probably stupid ultrasound question. Anyone can answer. I can see at the top of some pictures that measurements are posted, ie 5.3 cm plus some other things. What do these mean? I was never given a picture by the girl that contains info at the top. Is that stuff important in regards to baby lengths, etc? Thanks

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Answered by tmhess - Mar. 14, 2015 2:16pm

As everyone has already said. I agree that it is much closer to 9 weeks. I wanted to direct you to my profile so you can look at my ultrasound pictures. My first one measured 6 weeks 4 days and the 2 following that were at 8 weeks 6 days. You can see the big difference clearly.

Also, I am not trying to sound judgmental, things happen, but as someone already said, no form of birth control or protection is 100% accurate except for abstinence. Because of this, the father could definitely be the other guy regardless of whether protection was used or if she was really on the pill. I think that she probably conceived in January based on when she said her last period was and the ultrasound pictures.

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Answered by mich5225 - Mar. 14, 2015 11:39am

Thanks so much for the input. The ultrasound gallery is what brought me to this website. I did confront her about the picture looking more like 9 weeks. That is when she mentioned another partner that she had denied up to that point. This was on March 9. I thought I was clear with her that I wouldn't be financially involved unless paternity was established, but on March 11, she texted me saying that the ultrasound picture CD cost $200 with a heavy guilt trip that I should help pay.

I appreciate the advice. Let me know any additional thoughts.

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Answered by fanny-melly - Mar. 14, 2015 5:42am

I will agree with the other ladies, your pic looks closer to 9 weeks than 6 weeks.

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