Baby dumps, wet sock sex and Love.

Posted on September 8th, 2011. Written by .

I am 30 weeks pregnant. I feel maybe 30 kgs heavier. 30 years older AND I’m sure i have 30 extra grey hairs.

I think the baby has sucked out my brain. I have been saying the stupidest things and doing the stupidest things.

Margarine goes in the fridge along with milk! NOT in the cupboard. Sometimes I’m not sure who turned the dishwasher on only to have Shaun tell me I did it. Or I hid his fathers day card… but couldn’t find it.

I’ve been doing these stretches to help with my restless legs, so randomly in the middle of the night I’ll get up and do them, Shaun says to me “I knew you would get weird, but I didn’t know that you would get this weird, its like I don’t know you anymore”…. it was funny since I was standing next to the bed exercising at 4am!

We also watched a breastfeeding DVD today it was typical of an instructional DVD, boring and very 1980s, Shaun was impressed with the fact they showed so much baby poo. He called them baby dumps. When I said how much I am going to suck at this breast feeding thing he proceeded to whip out one of my boobs and show me what I’m supposed to do…….. so he said we are all set because he knows what to do.

So apparently this baby is weighing in at almost a pound heavier AND is measuring 2 weeks ahead of its time, i am sure this kid is going to tear me in places I have never imagined… places like my butt cheek, or my hand? Shaun was a 9 pound baby… OH lordy. I will have a¬†gigantic baby and he will come out the size of a 4 month old. My poor poor vagina. I think we will have to rename it ‘Giant hole of Antanika’……

I am eating like an animal… I think about food a lot. I’m peeing CONSTANTLY, like 10 minutes apart sometimes. there’s just so much pressure that once I’ve peed I already need to pee again by the time I’ve sat down, SERIOUSLY i have 10 weeks left, how on earth will i be able to leave the house!?

I’ve also peed my pants… I moved some furniture the other week (naughty I know) right after I vomited violently and peed myself! Not a little pee but a lot…. I didn’t even know I needed to pee and I pee! I can’t win.

I think at this stage of pregnancy you really begin to realise…. wow I’m heaps pregnant, it happens so suddenly. You can’t move the way you used to, you roll out of bed, struggle to get off the couch and even risk pulling muscles in doing so, you have to sit a certain way to maximise comfort, and don’t get me started on sex. HOW on earth are you supposed to maneuver something so gigantor without being a wet sock in the sack? No really HOW?

I am very excited about this baby coming out, I am even looking forward to the birth, just to see how Shaun will react and to see his face will be worth all this back pain, reflux, burping, peeing, vomiting, having sex like a sea dugong. It will be all worth it. Just to see him hold his first baby.


Ahhh love <3

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 8th, 2011 at 2:05 pm and is filed under Up The Duff Without a Paddle.
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About the Author:

My name is Antanika Holton and I'm up the Duff! I was born and raised in South Australia, had my first son Tosh when I was 20 years old and married my YouTube Rockstar Husband Shaun (Projected Twin) in November last year! We've settled into a happy little coastal town called Goolwa and are EXTREMELY excited to be awaiting the arrival of our first child together and Tosh's first little brother or sister! We had been trying to conceive since the middle of 2010 and unfortunately had to go through the ordeal of 2 early term miscarriages. BUT! We're in the clear and I'm here to count down to our beautiful baby with you!

2 Responses »

  1. I totally understand ALL that..Im 25 weeks pregnant & I’ve never had so much gray hairs in my life…well its alot to me, other people don’t seem to notice them. Sex….ah, Sex….sometimes I want it so bad I feel like Ima burst out of of my underwear & then a few hours later I wonder what the hell was I thinking. I’ve found myself peeing on myself also whenever I sneeze or have a cough..gross, Ive never gone thru so many panties…Hang in there is almost out

  2. Ha! Not many people notice mine either! Ive had them for years! since i was about 23 and im 26 now! Damn Genetics.
    Yep. I feel the same way. Sex. I even dream about it. So close to the end!

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