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Surrogacy or not?

Category: General - Pregnancy Buddies/Groups
Posted by Annie.spencer11 » Oct. 18, 2017 6:19am

Hey there! I hope everyone is fine. My name is jasmine and I am from Canada. I learned about this forum from a friend who used it to share her infertility issues. As she knows that I do not share my problems with my family or other friends, so she suggested me to express all my feelings here. I have read a few topics here and the women here feel like a family to each other. I am really impressed. I am not an infertile woman but still not able to get pregnant. You people might be thinking that how strange is it. I also felt the same when I was diagnosed with a heart disease known as ‘Mitral stenosis’. It is a fatal disease and I think a few of you might have heard about it. This disease will take too long to get cured and I can’t wait that much long to have a baby. My husband has been very supportive all these years. He loves me a lot, but still I have the fear that he might leave me one day. I think many of you also have this fear. That is why I want to give him a baby before he gets tired of me. I have heard about IUI and surrogacy. I know a very little about these two procedures. So the favor I want from you people is that kindly guide about one of the procedures I can go for. I have had a very hard time and I want theses hard times to end now. I try to be strong but the fear of my husband leaving me one day is making me crazy day by day. I hope someone will reply soon with advice. Thanks!

Posts: 1

Replies (41)

Reply by jessica5715 » Oct. 18, 2017 5:20pm

Hi Jasmine, I am fine. How are you? Hope you are doing great. The people on this forum are so loving. They gives the best advises regarding your issues. I am glad that you chose this forum to discuss your problems. I really felt bad that you are suffering from such a fatal disease at very young age. For how long you have been suffering from disease? Have you asked doctors about your health progress? What do they say? Husband’s support is all that can give you hope when you are going through such problems. Do not worry. He will not leave you. I will suggest you to for surrogacy. Surrogacy is the procedure with high success rates as compared to others. You will have your own biological child through surrogacy. Nothing can beat the happiness of having your own biological child.

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Reply by Julie123 » Oct. 19, 2017 3:55am

Hello Jasmine. I too have a similar problem. I have been trying to get pregnant too but in vain. I went to gynecologists and they were all stumped. That’s because I am perfectly fertile. But I was unable to conceive. A friend suggested I should consult a general physician to find out if the problem was elsewhere. And guess what? It turns out the problem in my case too was the heart. Needless to say, I was devastated. My husband and I were so looking forward to having children. He was very supportive when I told him the news. We went to many doctors and opted for treatments. Unfortunately, after two years, I still haven’t managed to conceive. I think it is time to consider some other option. I have heard surrogacy is a great option. It would be a great help if someone could explain the process.

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Reply by Hannahjake » Oct. 19, 2017 12:21pm

Hi jasmine! What a beautiful name you have got. A woman is created to share and feel love. Nature has it's ways to complete a woman. The primary way is by being a mother. A child strengthen's the bond of a couple by giving them joy and laughter.from little noise to mischiefs everything they do is adorable. The first eternal step they take is just unforgettable. So how can one not think of having one? I feel not everyone is blessed that way. Just as the case in your way. I know that mitral stenosis is a fatal disease. It might not let you have a baby implanted in your uterus. But you can have it in another way. IUI might not be in your favour because your body is weak. Therefore, I feel surrogacy can give you the pleasure of being a mother who will have your genes and genetics. Beautiful right?

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Reply by ahimiza » Oct. 27, 2017 7:47pm

Hi Jasmine, you have made a right choice by choosing this forum to discuss your issues. People here are so helpful and give the best advice. You and I are in the same boat as I am also suffering from heart valve disease just like you. I am now going to be mother soon. I was able to have the baby through surrogacy procedure. I was very satisfied with it as the procedure was very simple without any kind of complications. I think you should also for surrogacy as it might help you to have your own biological baby. I am glad your husband loves you. Talk to him about it. I hope he will agree with it.

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Reply by callisy » Dec. 6, 2017 7:53pm

It is good to share your burden so taht you know you are not alone in this journey. Concerning the heart disease I am sorry. I do hope taht you will recover soon from it. And also would suggest you find other ways taht are appropriate in your situation to have a child. Like surrogacy.

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Reply by KathyGrant » Feb. 15, 2018 5:16am

Hello Annie. Firstly thank you for sharing your condition with us. Yes lol it is true this is basically a family. You can share anything you want here. As for the option personally I would advise surrogacy. I myself was unable to conceive because I had to have my uterus removed. So me and my husband chose surrogacy. The clinic we chose was very good and helped us out a ton. Also if you find a good clinic internationally it is also very cost effective. Along with that the process was pain free and we were able to stay ion contact with the surrogate mother throughout. I hope you choose surrogacy and if so then Good luck from me and I wish you a happy Family!!!!!

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Reply by Chelsea112 » Feb. 15, 2018 9:48am

Hey Jasmine! First of all Im so glad you chose to share your post here. Its good that we go to one another for advice and support. I'm sorry to hear about your heart disease. May you find the right treatment and have a fast recovery. I think surrogacy is a great and helpful option. There are many clinics available for it. So basically in the procedure your own eggs would be used along with your husband's sperm. The doctor would check your documents first. He will give you the permission to go on with such a treatment only if it is suitable for you. Once you get clearance, your egg and husband's sperm would together form an embryo which would be transplanted into the surrogate. You can not meet your surrogate personally but you will get the right to meet her after 12 weeks. If thats not possible you can also speak to her via skype. The proper medications will be provided to her throughout the treatment. Finally when the surrogate mother gives birth, you and your husband would be blessed with your child. hope this helps make your decision easier.

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Reply by SelenaJones » Feb. 15, 2018 12:09pm

Hi Jasmine. How are you doing? Well, I just read your whole situation. Yes! This forum is quite...I also have been here for a little longer time. Aww, I really feel sorry for you. Well, I think you're going with the right decision. You're lucky to have such a lovely husband. Well, I am also planned to undergo an IVF later this year. So, that's why I'd suggest you as well to go for it. I'm going to Ukraine for my procedure, as I feel it's affordable there. I think you should also try an IUI first. It's better way before going to surrogacy and other procedures. I hope it's helping! Thanks!

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Reply by pheobe412 » Feb. 15, 2018 2:22pm

Well you can go for surrogacy. Just think that it's very expensive. I don't know if you can afford it or not. It's really difficult to afford for many people. Even if it has packages and all. Well what can I say now. It's your decision to be. Just be calm and take good decision. Which is best for you. Take care allot dear. Do search before you take an action. My opinion is that. No surrogacy.

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Reply by Amelia » Feb. 15, 2018 4:48pm

so sad Annie .spencer11. You are making hard struggles just because you want to see your husband happy. As I know about the surrogacy process then most of the woman try IVF. If they get a failure, then turned to surrogacy. Surrogacy is not as simple for a clinic as well as for a patient to go through. I read before one month that some familiar clinics were offering their remarkable services. But one thing that I know is they don’t allow those patients who have gone through a heart surgery. But I am not confirmed till yet. You can get information from this webinar that I was discussing it with you. here is the link https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg15WUWvvl_jWlq45hP0NXQ.

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Reply by KathyGrant » Feb. 18, 2018 11:13am

Yeah it is true lol. All of us here are like an internet family. Secondly I am not glad to hear what you are saying. It is sad that you have this disease. Nothing can be done about that. However, your husband loves you. I do not think he would ever get tired of you. Neither should you. If you just want a child because of this illness I do not think you should go through with it. That being said. My honest opinion is that you should go for surrogacy. If you research it further and provided you get the best clinic it will be the best option for you.

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Reply by monika123 » Feb. 18, 2018 3:36pm

Hey there, Annie, I hope you're doing. I am extremely sorry to hear about your disease. However, since the technology has improved you have a lot of other treatments to opt for. I would personally suggest that you opt for surrogacy as other treatments would be a bit risky according to your condition. You start searching for a good clinic that is popular and successful at what they do. As from my own little experience, I would suggest that you make sure that everything is done legally right. As I know that in the US the surrogate mothers are given all the rights I opted for an abroad clinic. As that allowed that parents would have all the rights legally. Another issue was the expense and it was comparatively less expensive with the packages they offered. So it really was a clinic that I liked and was surprised to see so many foreigners visiting the clinic.Also, I was concerned with the surrogate mother and the conditions. However, I was told by the clinic that a proper medical test is taken. If they don't pass it they are not eligible. The surrogate mothers themselves also told that they were being treated very nicely. SO it all made me go to the clinic.

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Reply by RihanaSam » Feb. 20, 2018 11:54am

Hello all!
From my last marriage i had many complications regarding pregnancy.
Like i was facing miscarriages every time i conceived.
Now at the age of 43 i am married agai to someone else and we want a baby of our own.
I know at this age it is quite difficult to have a baby off my own womb.
Keeping in mind all the complications regarding pregnancy now i think i should go for some other option to have children.
So i persuaded my husband to go for surrogacy to have our own children.
He agreed to my proposal so i started looking for clinics with good surrogacy records.
I founded many clinics regarding surrogacy and i picked up the few clinics too for further discussion with them.
I contacted many clinics and told them every aspect of our complications.
From their satisfied answers i guess some clinics are the best solution for having a baby.
So i suggest that you people should also do your own research regarding surrogacy and should contact different clinics for further details.
But i'm worried about many other aspects like my behaviour towards the baby after knowing everything.
Like when the baby grows up what i should tell him/her.
But now i don't have any other options left so far so surrogacy is the only solution to my problems i guess.
If someone is raising a baby from surrogacy method please share your experience with us so we can learn something from your experiences.

Posts: 47

Reply by RihanaSam » Feb. 27, 2018 9:57am

I think surrogacy is the best solution now adays where we can have a baby.
I'm 43 years old now and i have also no luck with babies too.
Now i am married for second time and i am thinking of having a baby again.
But the miscarriages from my last married life make me afraid and stops me getting pregnant again.
I persuaded my husband to go for surrogacy option.
I consulted a number of clinics related to surrogacy.
Surrogacy is now adays a common method of having a baby for those women who can't have a baby out of their own womb.
You better should research about surrogacy and should visit some clinics regarding surrogacy.
But i am worried about some aspects of having a baby from this process.
But as we have no other option left so i guess it is the only solution for us now.
As from my first marriage i had no luck with having a baby.
I had many complications while getting pregnant.
I conceived for three times but always resulted in miscarriage.
Any women raising a baby from surrogacy method please share your experience with us.

Posts: 47

Reply by jenn945 » Feb. 27, 2018 5:29pm

dear Annie Spencer,I feel you, babe.Really it is hard to share your feelings t anybody.And harder to people you love and who love you.You expect so much from them And are scared that what if they leave.That will totally devastate you.For your husband, i suggest that you tell him immediately.As you sad he is very loving so he will understand.The thing is surrogacy has many options.You can use your own eggs.You may use donor eggs.But your husband's sperms would be used for sure.After that, the main thing is the fertilized embryo is kept in the womb of the surrogate mother.I mean the surrogate mother.It nourishes there until it gets born.The moment it is born it is yours by every right.you must keep a good check on the legal issues.And the contract with the surrogate mother.So that she cannot have any right to the child.You must choose the best clinic.I wish i have answered your questions.

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Reply by Katy2017 » Feb. 28, 2018 10:37pm

Hello! Welcome to the forum! Thank you for sharing your story, dear. I’ve heard a lot about your disease and I’m very sorry. As for me, every woman is worth of having kids. That’s why I’m very glad that you keep looking for solutions. You are a very brave woman. I’m proud of you.
Regarding your question, I can recommend you the surrogacy. My husband and me are going through the surrogacy at the moment. The embryo was transferred a couple of weeks ago. We are waiting for the result. I really hope that our surrogate is pregnant.
As for me, you should go and talk to the fertility specialist. After all the examinations you will be advised to choose the solution. Well, as you are not allowed to give birth, surrogacy is the best option. An outside woman will give birth instead of you. But the baby born will be related to your husband and you. As for me it is really great.
Don’t be afraid that your husband will leave you. Try to talk to him. Let him know about your feelings. Ask him to support you. You have to go through all these difficulties together. Try to support each other. It’s a tough time for your family. But I’m sure you will survive as a family. You just have to. You have no choice, dear.
I really wish you good luck. Don’t give up, please.

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Reply by Karen2016 » Mar. 3, 2018 8:16pm

I’m very sorry to read about your disease. It’s so unfair that a lot of women can’t get pregnant nowadays. Thank God modern medicine is pretty developed. Doctors are doing their best to help infertile couples.
You know, I dreamed to adopt for a long time. I’m unable to give birth and I thought that it was my only option. Unfortunately, my husband is against the adoption. He said that he doesn’t want to raise someone’s baby. I was so disappointed to hear his words. I was also afraid that he would break up with me. He really wanted to have kids, you know. I’m glad that he didn’t give up. He started looking for the solutions. This is how we found out about the surrogacy. We entered the program immediately. Well, last week we found out that our surrogate is pregnant.
The whole surrogacy process is pretty simple. Your main task is to find a good reproduction center. Your doctor will take care of everything for you. As usual, all clinics have their own databases of the surrogates. That’s why they will choose the most appropriate one for you. After the embryo transfer you will have to wait for 3 weeks to find out the result.
As usual it takes 10-12 months to become parents with the help of the surrogacy. As for me it is much faster than adoption. So, I’m really glad that we found this solution.
I’m so excited at the moment. I dreamed to become a mom for a long time. I have no words to explain how happy I am. Also, I enjoy seeing my husband so happy. Now I’m sure that we are a real family. And we are about to become parents soon.

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Reply by Romana » Mar. 4, 2018 10:44am

Hey, i hope you are doing great. I am happy that you shared your story here. You will get many good information from experienced couples. This forum is doing great job to provide all kind of information to couples. Those who are facing this kind of problems in their life. You are lucky you have all the support in your life. which is more needed to face these kind of problems. You have to take extra care of your health. I am sure you will get best possible results soon in your life. Just keep trying and don't take too much tension in this condition. Because stress can cause serious problems in you life. Specially when you are facing this kind of problem in your life. In order to deal with this kind of problem. You need to be strong enough. Surrogacy is the good option of you. You have to choose the best clinic for yours self. Just keep trying every thing will be fine soon.

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Reply by teena82 » Mar. 4, 2018 1:15pm

Hello Jasmine, you are absolutely right, this forum is like our family. The problems we can't discuss with our family or friends, we share here and find the best solution. Your situation is quite different from me. You are fertile but can not conceive due to heart disease. I am facing double infertility. So, totally unable to conceive. But we both have the options. I also discussed my problem here in this forum few months back. One of the member told me about surrogacy in ukraine. Since then i researched a lot about that clinic. After my great satisfaction, i am going to have my surrogacy from biotexcom next month. My first visit was really very satisfying. I would definitely suggest you to go for surrogacy. Because it is the only option for you ,as you are having heart problem. This process is becoming very common throughout the world. A number of clinics are offering their services at relatively affordable prices. This process is the last hope for the couples like us who desperately want a child. Good luck to all.

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Reply by jilly6768 » Mar. 4, 2018 4:05pm

I am so sorry for your condition. It must really be hard for you to cope with it.
I am glad that your husband is there for you. You should consider yourself to be lucky. Your condition really doesn't permit you to conceive. It might turn out to be fatal for you.
The best treatment for you would be Surrogacy. You will have to give your eggs for the procedure. They will be fertilized by the doctors. Once they are fertilized, they will be transferred into the surrogate's womb. After that, the surrogate will carry your child for you. This way you will get to have your own baby. The only difference is that you would not be carrying it in your own womb.
Keeping your condition in mind, this treatment is the most suitable for you. I hope that you get through it successfully.

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