dakotagurrl's Pregnancy

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Thank you all so much for the prayers!
By dakotagurrl » Posted Jan. 3, 2018 1:24pm - 2223 views - 26 comments

We lost our precious Edie this morning, shortly after 9am. She was 5.5 days old and we were left with a difficult decision. We chose to let her go in peace, she was never going to get better. Edie was placed in my arms for our first and last time, her drugs were withdrawn (minus the morphine for comfort) and her breathing tube removed. She died silently and peacefully with her body in my arms and beautiful head in my hand.

On my way home from Toronto, without my baby. It just hurts....there are no words!

I won't be on here for a bit but I truly wish all of u a safe and happy pregnancy/delivery. Enjoy every minute, it really can be taken away in a second!!!

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from dakotagurrl » Posted Jan. 20, 2018 2:05pm My in-laws are a piece of work. I had a feeling that they'd pull this crap, just not to this extent. This is why we tell them nothing, so much drama! They haven't called since hubs had his say. They sent flowers, which is what they usually do (but with toys/clothes for the kids) when they want to initiate a phone call from us...no phone call tho. Hubs put them in a corner and that's where they sat and died. Neither of us wanted bright happy (daisies and some big bright summery/tropical flowers) flowers, let alone from ppl who just acted that way. We wanted to be left alone. Thank u Calvin! I just got the msg today so I will look u up on fb. =))
	Comment from Angela18 » Posted Jan. 17, 2018 2:34pm Wow, unbelievable, I was expecting the opposite from them in hopes they’d be there for you guys. So sorry for the added pain. Can’t wait to see Edie’s pic when the site is back up. Xoxo
	Comment from phatgurl » Posted Jan. 16, 2018 7:21pm I'm so sorry you're having to deal with your in-laws on top of this heartbreaking experience. CTP is down for maintenance, but I'll keep checking there for her photo. You are still in my thoughts daily.
	Comment from calvingirl » Posted Jan. 16, 2018 10:09am I'm so sorry. There is nothing that can say that will ease this for you. I've been there. I have some resources for you that I'll message for when you're ready. It's not fair. It's not right and it's not fair and I hate to see anyone go through this. As for what people say, you'll get a lot of good and a lot of bad. You'll definitely find out who your friends are. We lost in-laws when we lost Oscar, because they were super religious and told my husband that God took Oscar to save him from my atheism and he should take measures to keep me away from his other children. We don't speak anymore obviously. It's also ok to be numb right now. Empty arms are devastating. Again, so sorry. *tears*.
	Comment from hopingforbfp » Posted Jan. 12, 2018 7:36pm Absolute angel...beautiful. That is horrid of your in-laws. You'd think they'd have the heart...and brains ..to be supportive to you and your husband during these times. Very wrong of them, in so many ways. I wish you peace in these days.
	Comment from hayleycynthia » Posted Jan. 12, 2018 12:54pm She is so beautiful. I hope you are recovering okay physically. Your in-laws are just horrible.
	Comment from Starmama14 » Posted Jan. 12, 2018 11:31am Ugh...those damn in-laws. People that are toxic like that aren't worth your breath. I am so sorry you have to deal with them on top of what you're all ready dealing with. I wish there was something I could do for you. I saw little Edie's pic on CDTP - she's absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing her picture!
	Comment from dakotagurrl » Posted Jan. 12, 2018 9:12am It hasn't been easy and they've done nothing but make it harder. When hubs called to let them know our girl was gone, first thing said, "what time?". What fucking time....u've got to be fucking kidding me! Of course they need details so they can tell all their friends and suck up as much sympathy as possible. Fucking pathetic! Using my daughter's death for attention...I will never forgive or forget that! Ever! We're both pretty livid about it all. Neither of us can understand how two ppl can be so heartbroken over a child they just learned existed about 3-4wks prior, never saw or met or even knew details about except the gender. How anyone could come up with the nerve or entitlement to think they have any kind of say as to what is or isn't shared...ugh! Anyways, I will post a pic of Edie soon. I do have one up on my CDTP page if anyone is interested. Thank u all for ur kind msgs. Best wishes! xoxo