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Joined Dec. 2, 2011 12:52pm

JuneBrideCarter's Pregnancy

My Due Date: July 17, 2014
I am postpartum » My due date was more than 2 weeks ago

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A series of unfortunate events.
By JuneBrideCarter » Posted Jan. 28, 2014 11:11am - 252 views - 0 comments

So, when I got pregnant, It was unexpected, and I was upset because that meant I had to put a lot of life on hold. I wouldn't be able to work on my body goals, and I wouldn't be able to get my full silicone mermaid tail prosthetic (because those things are REALLY custom fit, and you can't just take it in like a dress when you get to post-partum).
After a week or two though, I started getting excited. I made a pinterest board with girl baby clothes and maternity photo-shoot and announcement ideas, and I designed a great "mer-ternity" mermaid tail to swim in and do photoshoots. I was thinking of doing underwater photography this time, with my tail, and a custom top that I'm working on.
While all this was going on I was trying to pack up our apartment so that we could move in with my in-laws in order to save up money for a house.
I was also very sick. Like so sick I could hardly move. My family had to come in and pack everything and help us move, because I was so sick.
I then remained sick for the remainder of my first trimester. I lost ten pounds.
Now, I started out overweight, but you're not really suppose to lose weight during pregnancy. I tried to keep fluids down as much as possible, but the only things I could drink were Gatorade and Meal-replacement shakes. Even water tasted bad. And the smells! I moved into a messy house with cats, where my Pop-in-law smoked venison and other wild game into jerky. Normally a scent I like. Not this time!
So I basically threw up almost every day for about 2 months straight. About once or twice a day.
So, I hit the 11 week, 6 day mark, and I'm like," Yeah! First Trimester's OVER man! I'm gonna start feeling way better soon, and I'm gonna get to tell everybody I'm pregnant, and start crocheting a mermaid tail for my little girl!"

The next morning, my hubby woke me up at about 4:30 because he was horny. I went upstairs to pee first, and found red-brown blood in my underwear. I went downstairs and showed my hubby, and we decided to go to the insta-care. They sent us to the ER because they didn't have any ultrasound equipment. We were there until about noon, when they sent me home with discharge orders for a threatened miscarriage. I felt optimistic, because I felt kicks and bumps, and because on the ultrasound she was so active. She even jumped up for us.

The next day, I returned to the ER with active labor type cramps, and redder bleeding. My husband stood by me, the entire time. Whenever I felt a swell of pain coming on, I would belt out a disney song. My best was when I found myself standing by the sink with a massive amount of pain coming on, and I sang out "Almost There" from Princess and the Frog. I sounded pretty dang good, right there. My worst was when I was laying on the bed, bleeding like a faucet, and feeling sick from the morphine, with the pain still very present, and was feebly trying to get out the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

They sent me home with a prescription for I don't remember what powerful painkiller, and the memories of really wonderful doctors and nurses who were kind to me when I was in pain, physical and emotional.

I remember the moment I was at peace with the miscarriage. I was having another painful cramp/contraction-thing, and I looked my husband dead in the face across the bed and said, "Honey, it's okay, because you and I were married for eternity in the temple, which makes this baby ours no matter what. We're not really losing her, now."

A couple days later I deliver the entire sac, placenta and baby intact. We cut it open and looked at a miracle. Then we named her Ash and buried her in a pine box in the backyard, knowing we would see her again, someday.

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