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feel extremely shallow
By Amarylis13 » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 10:59am - 243 views - 6 comments

I love my husband cannot imagine not being with him. I can't bring myself to have sex anymore. I have a low drive but since they birth of our daughter he has packed on the weight. He mainly has a huge gut and I hate it. We are both in our 20s and he supposedly hates his gut but wont do anything to get back onto shape. He just sits on the couch eating huge bowls of ice cream and cereal while gaming. I feel horrible but I cant stand it. I really really hate his pot belly but I dont know how to motivate him to lose it. I dont nag him and I am using the pregnancy as an excuse to not have sex. If he hates it shouldn't that make him want tobdo something. We pay a gym membership every month and he never uses it ever. He used to go when I was pregnant with our daughter but now he does nothing for exercise. I cant even make him go foe a walk with us anymore. He doesn't seem depressed and is taking his meds. If he keeps putting on the weight I dont think I will be able to stay with him in our 30s. Yes there is the connection but shouldnt he want to make himself physically appealing for me. I havent let myself go and make an effort to still look nice.

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from Eluria88 » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 2:21pm Yeah I don't really like "being that person" either, but sometimes just sharing really how we feel is better. Yeah it may sound shallow but we all want to be attracted to our partners and when we feel like they don't really care about how we view them it can be a little hurtful. I don't think it's wrong of you, I think you have every right to tell him that you wish he cared more about how he looked for you, that he cared whether or not you were physically attracted to him. Some of us require a balance of great personality and physical attractiveness and there's nothing wrong with it.
	Comment from Amarylis13 » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 11:43am Maybe we do. Im thinking that might get him to do something but I dont want to come across as that bitch you know.
	Comment from gotababylady » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 11:40am I want to be supportive but lets face it we can't support every idea all the time so the only thing I feel like I can do this time is offer what I think. I was always taught if you have nothing nice to say not to say anything so I'm going to be as nice as possible. For better or for worse. I know thats what I said and mint when I got married to my dh. I would hope that he would continue to be in love and attracted to me regardless of how I looked. In the 15 years I have been with my dh he has gained 100 pounds. He also carries his weight in his belly. Do I wish he would take better care of himself yes. Do I think he would be happier if he would loose some weight of course. If he gained another 100 pounds would I ever leave him No. Just like I wouldn't leave him of he was burned in a fire or lost a limb. If you really love him you will have to adjust your thinking. I think you may need to talk to someone. I have followed your posts since you joined and you never seem happy.
	Comment from Eluria88 » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 11:19am I know how you feel, my husband is skinny but he promised me 7 years ago that he would quit smoking "before the baby is born" and the "baby" is now 6 years old. We married because we needed the insurance, we love each other but we rushed the marriage for insurance reasons and I always said I would never marry a smoker. I cannot stand the way he smells. I don't want to be near him, let alone have him touch me a lot of the time. I can only stand him when he's fresh out of the shower and brushes his teeth thoroughly. I feel like he doesn't love me enough to quit smoking and it upsets me a lot. Sometimes I think we just need to tell them. I mean I complain to him that he needs to quit and that he stinks but I don't think I've really made it clear that I am very turned off by it and it could ruin our marriage. Maybe we both need to spill the whole truth to our men... :(
	Comment from Amarylis13 » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 11:13am Thanks. His gym doesnt offer childcare and we still have about five months before the membership is done. I might be getting put on bed rest due to some recent complications
	Comment from Mrs_HT » Posted Mar. 3, 2014 11:05am You could go to the gym together and that way you are supporting each other. You can stay fit during pregnancy and he can feel like he's supporting you while getting into shape himself. It is also a way to spend some time together. The gym DH and I go to has a childcare area so we can focus on our goals and spend some time. Hope you guys feel better.