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kCharleneS's Pregnancy
My Due Date: July 12, 2013I have given birth!
Age: 32 years old
Location: Colfax, United States
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Having a mental breakdown
By kCharleneS » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 3:08pm - 412 views - 4 comments
I am so emotionally drained. I can't handle anymore. On top of dealing with everything from yesterday, today I had to pick Nathan up 2 hours into the school day because of violence. He has never had a violent bone in his body. Sure, we've had to deal with the occasional hit, but he's almost 4. That's gonna happen. And there was one time he stabbed a kid with a fork, but the teachers explained to him that that was not okay and that that hurt people. He apologized and hasn't done it since. Until today.
At breakfast, he stabbed a boy with a fork. It started out with him joking saying he was gonna stab him. The teachers told him no and that that was bad behavior. He did it anyways. Then during coloring, he grabbed a pencil and stabbed a little girl. Then during recess, he threw bark at a boy and said, "Sock me." Then inside he shoved a little girl and threw blocks at the other kids. No matter how many times his teachers talked to him, it wasn't getting better so they called me to come get him.
I broke down at the school. I don't know how to handle this. This is all behavior that he has never shown at home at all. I feel like I'm failing as a parent and that I'm losing my little boy. His teacher thinks that something is bothering him but he won't tell us. When we ask why he would hurt his friends like that, all he says is, "because I don't want to." He's been very sad all day and knows that we are disappointed and that what he did was wrong, but that's not enough. I don't know how to go about correcting this. This is very serious.
I broke down again when we got home from the school and all I want to do is cry still. I called our counseling services here and have him scheduled to see a therapist on Tuesday to see if we can figure out the root of all of this.
He couldn't have learned it at home because when he's up, all we watch are children's shows. Sean is never home or awake when Nathan's up so Nate isn't exposed to his video games, Sean and I sure as Hell don't talk like that at all. I just don't know where he is learning this. His father's not a violent person whatsoever. He's a bit of a wussy. The only thing that I can think of is his wife or someone who they're allowing to be around him. I don't know how to bring this up to them or anything, cause I know they're gonna deny it and say he's learned it from us. And I also don't want to jump to conclusions and automatically think it's them because we don't know that.
But I don't know how much more I can handle at this point. I dealt with my brother who was violent, extremely (he tried stabbing me with scissors in the chest a 5), but he was also being abused my his meth addict mom. I have no idea why he's doing these things so therefor I have no idea how to go about fixing the problem. I'm looking forward to seeing Sean's mom tomorrow when we go to Spokane because she's raised 6 kids, plus two of her grandkids, and also came from a family of 12 so she might know more on how to handle things. But right now, I just want to crawl into a hold and never come back out. I can't help feeling that I am the reason why my son is acting out and I feel like such a bad mother. :-( I just want my sweet baby boy back. :-(
My Journal
Having a mental breakdown
By kCharleneS » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 3:08pm - 412 views - 4 comments
I am so emotionally drained. I can't handle anymore. On top of dealing with everything from yesterday, today I had to pick Nathan up 2 hours into the school day because of violence. He has never had a violent bone in his body. Sure, we've had to deal with the occasional hit, but he's almost 4. That's gonna happen. And there was one time he stabbed a kid with a fork, but the teachers explained to him that that was not okay and that that hurt people. He apologized and hasn't done it since. Until today.
At breakfast, he stabbed a boy with a fork. It started out with him joking saying he was gonna stab him. The teachers told him no and that that was bad behavior. He did it anyways. Then during coloring, he grabbed a pencil and stabbed a little girl. Then during recess, he threw bark at a boy and said, "Sock me." Then inside he shoved a little girl and threw blocks at the other kids. No matter how many times his teachers talked to him, it wasn't getting better so they called me to come get him.
I broke down at the school. I don't know how to handle this. This is all behavior that he has never shown at home at all. I feel like I'm failing as a parent and that I'm losing my little boy. His teacher thinks that something is bothering him but he won't tell us. When we ask why he would hurt his friends like that, all he says is, "because I don't want to." He's been very sad all day and knows that we are disappointed and that what he did was wrong, but that's not enough. I don't know how to go about correcting this. This is very serious.
I broke down again when we got home from the school and all I want to do is cry still. I called our counseling services here and have him scheduled to see a therapist on Tuesday to see if we can figure out the root of all of this.
He couldn't have learned it at home because when he's up, all we watch are children's shows. Sean is never home or awake when Nathan's up so Nate isn't exposed to his video games, Sean and I sure as Hell don't talk like that at all. I just don't know where he is learning this. His father's not a violent person whatsoever. He's a bit of a wussy. The only thing that I can think of is his wife or someone who they're allowing to be around him. I don't know how to bring this up to them or anything, cause I know they're gonna deny it and say he's learned it from us. And I also don't want to jump to conclusions and automatically think it's them because we don't know that.
But I don't know how much more I can handle at this point. I dealt with my brother who was violent, extremely (he tried stabbing me with scissors in the chest a 5), but he was also being abused my his meth addict mom. I have no idea why he's doing these things so therefor I have no idea how to go about fixing the problem. I'm looking forward to seeing Sean's mom tomorrow when we go to Spokane because she's raised 6 kids, plus two of her grandkids, and also came from a family of 12 so she might know more on how to handle things. But right now, I just want to crawl into a hold and never come back out. I can't help feeling that I am the reason why my son is acting out and I feel like such a bad mother. :-( I just want my sweet baby boy back. :-(
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from kCharleneS » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 5:57pm The thing is that I include him in every thing when it comes to the baby. He's been to my OB appointments, he's been to the ultrasounds, we got him a picture from the ultrasound for him to carry around, I do every thing I can to make him feel included. But I do think that the decorating of the onsies would be a good activity for him to do. |
 | Comment from jemsmombabyontheway » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 4:52pm Maybe try to include him in with things to do with the baby. Maybe he is thinking that he isn't going to be getting the same attention because of the baby. maybe buy a few white onesies and let him decorate them for the baby with puff paint or let him finger paint with fabric paint on them. maybe take him to a doctor's appointment so he can hear the baby's heartbeat. |
| Comment from kCharleneS » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 3:41pm Thank you very much. If that's the case, then I hope the therapist can help give us ways on how to make it easier on him. |
| Comment from stephpan » Posted Feb. 13, 2013 3:36pm I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this! Hopefully talking with a therapist will help him to open up about what the issue is. Maybe the new baby is making him scared about his position in your life (e.g. why he denies you are pregnant and doesn't want to call you mom). Maybe that's a part of the acting out? Poor baby and poor you! Hugs!! |
