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Hormones or stress?
By emmapeal9 » Posted Feb. 26, 2014 10:09pm - 216 views - 5 comments

Well, I lost my shit today.

I suppose it started with being asked about my baby shower. A family friend is planning to host it. Long story short - my mom wanted to host (even though she lives in another STATE). I tried to get my mom to connect with the other gal to coordinate almost 2 months ago. She hasn't yet. I got stressed and worried. I am terrible at handling things objectively if I know that not all parties are happy or satisfied. And my mom has already stated what will make her happy. It's specific. (Not to mention that she plans to be in the delivery room WITH us without invitation)

Secondly, I've been dealing with drama at work. A co-worker is having an attitude problem which is creating more work for me. People aren't going to her because she's unapproachable so I end up picking up the slack. I'm also waiting to hear back from my boss regarding a proposal for maternity leave and part time work after baby arrives. Our company has less than 50 employees, which, in turn, according to our state law, means they don't HAVE to offer maternity leave. I gave the proposal over a month ago in writing and cited the reasons I thought the office and company would benefit. He did say he would consider it, but I'm now almost at half way through my pregnancy and I have NO CLUE what will be happening after the baby arrives.

When a person in my office gave me a demand today without a please or a thank you (because the co-worker hadn't done it yet) - I lost it. I ran to the bathroom and BAWLED MY EYES OUT. I looked like Bob Costas but without glasses when I came out of the restroom.

I walked into the office manager's office, shut the door and said "I can't hold it together anymore today. I have to go home."

My boss, who shudders when people cry at or over work demanded to know why I was crying. I told him that I had no idea, but I couldn't promise that I wouldn't flip out on anyone that afternoon so I planned to end the day early. Thankfully the two important people seemed to understand.

I am still doing the exaggerated breathing like a little kid recovering from a sob fest even hours later, and I'm EXHAUSTED. I can't tell if the stress actually built up on me or if I'm just extremely hormonal. I'm hoping it was stress??? Because I'm usually a VERY even keeled person, and I don't want to have to feel guilty for losing my shit on top of everything else.

Should I talk to my doc next week about it?

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from acrichton » Posted Feb. 27, 2014 3:37pm take FMLA or no? I get so confused about the rules from state to state. I know NJ offers paid leave by disability for 6 weeks, then optional unpaid FMLA. I hope it works out hun!! :)
	Comment from acrichton » Posted Feb. 27, 2014 3:36pm You have a right to lose your shit. Regarding your mom, she should have conferred with the family friend a while ago if you put them in touch. Maybe send an email to both of them to get the communication about the shower rolling? My mom is not going to be in the delivery room, she would drive me nuts! Maybe you have tell your mom to wait in the waiting room if you want it to just be you and hubby? If you want her in there its all good but its the birth of your first baby, and it should be everything you dream of. :) Sorry about work. I found out a good friend/coworker was saying some negative things about me so I confronted her and started to cry (I am a tomboy, and before this pregnancy business I was not very emotional). I am glad I told her because she owed up to it and apologized. Maybe you could send a follow up email to your manager to check the status of your part time proposal? I hate that small companies dont offer materinity. It should still be mandatory. You can still
	Comment from emmapeal9 » Posted Feb. 27, 2014 10:35am You're right, Krod! I DO need an answer. It's definitely stress. I woke up at 4 am because I was dreaming about my worry regarding maternity leave. GAH! :)
	Comment from Krod0519 » Posted Feb. 27, 2014 10:32am Sounds like a rough day, get some rest and treat yourself to something yummy and good tv. that always helps lol. Baby showers and planning all that can be stressful, everyone wants to input and have their own opinion but it really gets old.. As for your post partum plan bring it up again! Say hey I know we are a ways off but I want to be prepared, you need an answer.
	Comment from Angela18 » Posted Feb. 26, 2014 10:50pm You can always bring it up to your doctor but (maybe I'm the wrong person to answer because I am a high stress person) but today I flipped out over my son spilling my tea. I was eating late, had made my two kids what they wanted which means as usual I make three meals -one for each of us. I was so happy about to sit down to my lunch when my son (now mind you he has Downs and Autism) spills my fresh tea. I acted like a bad mommy and yelled at him because he was trying to play with my cup which is why it fell. Then I started to cry and yelled a little more. Then I followed my son to his room to apologize and began to cry like a little kid in front of my son. It wasn't just the tea it was a domino effect which is I'm sure what you are going through. What I started crying about ended with me crying about how effed up government is which is why I'm stuck in a bad situation at home (DH works for Feds). So I hope you don't feel alone. I had your episode today ;)