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BabyClaire11's Pregnancy
My Due Date: August 11, 2014I have given birth!
Age: 29 years old
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ugh.
By BabyClaire11 » Posted Jun. 6, 2014 2:02pm - 204 views - 2 comments
the scale at the doctors said i went up 10 FUCKING POUNDS. how could that be!?!?!!? i eat healthy god damn it!!!!
The midwife said it could be an error though, maybe i was weighed wrong last time because it did seem pretty high. But come on... it's probably not a friggen error. i feel SO disgusted with myself i just can't even stand it right now. I don't want to eat anymore. i'm so over it.
But then i get this little kick reminding me that i have to eat and it upsets me so much :'( i can't stop crying. i don't want to gain ANY more weight and i know i have to!!!
The nurse decided to weigh me, tell me how much i gained, then took my blood pressure while i was clearly upset. i was in tears for gods sake! then she wonders why my blood pressure was high.
after i calmed down, and she had me lay on my left side for 5 minutes, they retook my bp and it was my normal almost too low blood pressure. The midwife said i don't look like i've gained 10 pounds- so it must be a mistake but i just can't even beleive that right now...
I'm having a really hard time with this... it's making my eating disordered mind go nuts. :'( :'(
My Journal
ugh.
By BabyClaire11 » Posted Jun. 6, 2014 2:02pm - 204 views - 2 comments
the scale at the doctors said i went up 10 FUCKING POUNDS. how could that be!?!?!!? i eat healthy god damn it!!!!
The midwife said it could be an error though, maybe i was weighed wrong last time because it did seem pretty high. But come on... it's probably not a friggen error. i feel SO disgusted with myself i just can't even stand it right now. I don't want to eat anymore. i'm so over it.
But then i get this little kick reminding me that i have to eat and it upsets me so much :'( i can't stop crying. i don't want to gain ANY more weight and i know i have to!!!
The nurse decided to weigh me, tell me how much i gained, then took my blood pressure while i was clearly upset. i was in tears for gods sake! then she wonders why my blood pressure was high.
after i calmed down, and she had me lay on my left side for 5 minutes, they retook my bp and it was my normal almost too low blood pressure. The midwife said i don't look like i've gained 10 pounds- so it must be a mistake but i just can't even beleive that right now...
I'm having a really hard time with this... it's making my eating disordered mind go nuts. :'( :'(
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from BabyClaire11 » Posted Jun. 6, 2014 2:35pm i feel your pain.. it's really really hard. I thought i was prepared to deal with this when i got pregnant, and i was, until i started getting bigger and then today's visit to the doctor totally messed me up... i'm so upset. |
| Comment from Kitten90 » Posted Jun. 6, 2014 2:26pm It's so rough dealing with an eating disorder while pregnant. I was fine for years before I got pregnant but now it is so difficult some days to eat. I haven't actually gained much but I look huge and most days I'm happy because I know it's cause I'm growing a baby but some days... I don't know.. some days I just get so upset and cry about it because I hate eating to begin with and I'm hungry nonstop. |
