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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Q: how do i tell my daughter that DH is not her bio dad ??

This may be the wrong place to ask this question, it is totally unrelated to pregnancy but i dont know where else to ask. i really need advice. My daughter is 6 years old, and from the time she was born my DH had been her "Daddy". her real father was out of the picture shortly after i got pregnant and never wanted anything to do with her. shes a happy kid, absolutely loves her "dad" and my heart is breaking when i think about telling her the difference. I had originally planned on never telling her, but im afraid some family members will let it slip when shes older, and cause alot of pain. should i tell her soon ? how? should want until shes old enough to understand better and ask questions ?? also, i havnt yet mentioned to my DH what im feeling. as far as he knows, she will never be told the difference and i dont think he will handle it well. any advice ?? this is so hard.

This question was asked Aug. 12, 2012 1:47am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by a member - Aug. 12, 2012 11:32am
yes that does help, its good to hear from someone who were through this, i think i will tell her casually and see how it goes from there.

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Answered by mandyp71 - Aug. 12, 2012 5:27am
Hiya
I don't know if my personal experience of this as a child will help ... My bio father walked away when my mum got pregnant too. At 16 years old I had a huge meltdown while out with friends and just blurted out that I didn't think my dad was my real dad. They took me home to my mum, who told me she had tried telling me this news when I was 4 and 8 years old. Both times I had refused to believe her she said. I'm not sure if it was refusal or just not being old enough to understand. All I know is that somehow, in the back of my mind, was this knowledge, and since my mum had not tried to talk to me again as I got older, it manifested in a negative way. My 'Dad' knew that my mum had wanted to tell me, because she did not want me to find out from someone else. It took me quite some time to come to terms with it all, but only made my already strong relationship with my dad stronger. If anything I was angry with my mum for not trying to tell me again sooner. Hope it helps :)

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