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Q: newl pregnant- terminal ill parner who wants me to have a termination

hi everyone i found out last tues i was pregnant - not planned. im 28 my partner is 38 with a degenerative illness at present he is ok.

He wants me to have a termination - actuall he more than wants he has said there is NO WAY we are having this baby and if i keep it i can do it alone.
Im devastated , i have a midwife appt on weds as my partner is on a few meds due to his illness so i will need some scans and tests asap to see how it all is,

i have told him if the baby is seen to be healthy i really want to keep it but he is adomant we get rid and think about it 2 years down the line, he said he already has enough stress and im selfish for wanting to keep in the situation we are in.
He already has a 7 yr old to a previous relationship - we have been together 5 years

are there any thoughts as im so confused

thankyou

xxxx

I honestly dont know what to do with myself I love him to pieces and i already love whats growing inside me although its early days .

This question was asked Jan. 22, 2012 6:36pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (15)

Answered by sweetpea016 - Jan. 22, 2012 8:06pm

if you want this baby keep it!

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Answered by Amarylis - Jan. 22, 2012 8:04pm

never let anyone force you to get rid of your child. YOU are the one carrying it and only YOU can make the choice that you will not regret later one.

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Answered by onemor83 - Jan. 22, 2012 6:59pm

He might be sick but thats no reason for him to treat you like that..if he can say things like "you can do it alone" then in my opinion he doesnt love you the same way...I was with someone who said the same thing to me..he had no other children & wasnt sick but did leave me to raise a baby on my own...I'm glad I did shes a bright beautiful little girl who makes me smile & he doesnt get the pleasure of being in her life....don't terminate..its an awful decision... & its with you for life,you never forget it. The way I see it is if your there for him in his time of need then why cant he be there for you??

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Answered by brookelee - Jan. 22, 2012 6:55pm

he is ok at present he has a weak right hand and arm but can still go to work , walk and drive etc . i feel the same but he thinks im the selfish one to even contemplate a baby in the situation, but i just cant help thinking 1- he wont change his mind even in 2 yrs and 2 if he gets too ill ill never get chance to have one - its so difficult

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Answered by danni179 - Jan. 22, 2012 6:40pm

I'm really sorry that this isn't a happy time for you, but I think your partner is being very selfish. He is in no way thinking of you and what you want.
Does your partner need "looking after" ? maybe he is thinking that if you have a baby you will pay him and his needs less attention?

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