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Category: Labour & Delivery

Asked by PaperHeart

Q: How much say?

How much say should the father have in who is allowed in the delivery room? This is our third and we've always been adamant about it just being the two of us in the delivery room, which was controversial with my mom when I had my first. Having had the experience twice, I know that my Dh isn't actually a great source of support as he goes into some weird trance and becomes quiet and useless. I labored overnight with our second and he slept until about 8 am when I finally asked him to wake up and sit with me :-/. He's typically good about being attentive when I'm sick, but just downright sucks during L&D. He's not my mom's greatest fan, however, though most of his gripes are more like grudges at this point. Anyway, my change of heart in having anyone else in the room is a total 180 from my past feelings, so it took him off guard, but he insists he'll stay home if she's there. I think he's being selfish since I'll be the one stuck in a hospital bed, but don't want to step on his toes.

This question was asked Sep. 25, 2015 4:14pm
Category: Labour & Delivery

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Answers (12)

Answered by PaperHeart - Sep. 25, 2015 11:01pm
I think you've totally misread his character. He's not jealous over attention I get from the medical staff. The night I labored with my dd, no one actually even came in there once I was settled in around midnight or so. It was all quiet until morning when the nurses changed around 7 am. I wanted him awake mostly to keep me company. The pain was bearable, but I was just too wired to rest. He does have some valid reasons for not wanting my mom there as our history is pretty sketchy, but I don't like living in the past, whereas he is a big grudge-holder. There was a time when my mom would've made it very much about herself, but I honestly don't think that's her mindset these days. I don't think he means to be unsupportive as he usually takes great care to baby me when I'm sick. I think he's on emotion overload during L&D, mostly scared for all that can go wrong. Our ds nearly died in birth because of his cord. At any rate, I don't know that Mom would be supportive, but she'd stay awak

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Answered by Mommybutterfly - Sep. 25, 2015 9:38pm
Seems to me that your husband is the type that gets jealous about you getting the attention from the nurses and doctors and it also from the sounds of it sounds like he doesn't want anyone but himself involved even though he's too lazy to even stay awake when you're trying to bring your baby into the world. I've heard of selfish before but he kinda tops it, no offense. I think it'd be best for you and your wellbeing if you have your mom with you. At least then you are getting the support you need and deserve.

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