Questions & Answers

If he knows you are pregnant then unfortunately if he decides he wants to be involved you may have to fight him in court about it. You will not be able to just withhold the child from him. If you have a restraining order or anything along those lines because of the domestic violence then they would take that into account but you will have to be prepared for the possibility of the bio-dad having at least supervised visits (usually by a member of the court).

If bio-dad doesn't know you are pregnant there is no reason you have to tell him. However, as the one member said, do NOT list your current partner on the birth certificate, it will only leave to trouble down the road if things should go bad. Best to just leave it blank if you don't want to list bio-dad. You may be forgoing the possibility of child support but then the onus would be on the bio-dad (or partner) to prove they are the father if they ever decided to fight for custody.

Anyone could be a Daddy but it takes a real man to be a Father. Remember that. :) Goodluck and no your not crazy!

A very good friend of mine left the father of her two kids due to violence. This happened 30+ years ago. Her kids never saw their bio-Dad again after ages 18 mos and 3 mos. They knew that their stepdad wasn't their bio-dad (they're mixed race, so it's kinda obvious), but that their stepdad loved and supported them. They now call the stepdad "Dad" and never speak of their biological father. This was, however, their choice to make. They have decided never to talk to their biological dad, and that's their choice - my friend offered to supply the necessary information so that they could find him (once they were old enough to think out the decision), but they never have and probably never will. Long story short, be honest, but also know that any guy can be a parent but the "Father" is the one who loves, cherishes, and raises them. *hugs*

Cont...
At the time i assumed as long as i wasn't alone and my child had someone they could call dad then everything would be ok. I would now say that kids need to know where and who they come from and how this relates to the physically or in terms of family history. So my advice to you would be that you cannot simply replace this child's father with a man you now consider more suitable. Your child deserves the truth and lies ultimately destroy your relationship with your child.
As for the child's biological farther if there is a real danger from him to your baby then of course you must keep them safe....but ask yourself this: Who's interest do I have in my heart? There is no reason your new partner won't be a brilliant step-parent.

This is a really difficult situation, and one I have been in myself. When pregnant with my son, his father left me declaring he didn't want to be a father. A very old friend of mine and i meanwhile had gotten really close and slowly began a relationship. At the time i was so scared of being a single parent and was so relieved when my new partner agreed to help me raise my son. I think the first issue raised in this was being asked about family history at prenatal appts since be very clear about the biological issues with your doctor. Anyway, everything was great when my son was born, my new partner was very helpful. I think it took a couple of months for the excitement to wear down and for him to work longer hours and avoid us completely. I was left homeless when we broke up, my son was four months old.
I should start by explaining that when registering my sons birth I used my partner as the father which he wasn't. ThE is illegal and the biggest regret of my life.....