Answered by marney529 - Oct. 25, 2012 3:50pm
I have to thank all of you for the advice. I actually had a heart to heart with my DH and he didnt realize that he was making his job a priority over our baby and other things.Since then he has been trying really hard and I have been trying hard not to over think things and not to take them to heart because he doesnt know what I am going through unless I tell him.So again I thank everyone for their imput!! :-)
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Answered by cherienc - Oct. 24, 2012 6:29pm
I would be upset and hurt too, my husband always worries about health and growth of me and the baby and all that, but he is not perfect, what man, let alone person, is perfect? I have heard from so many women that the men in their lives are insensitive about their pregnancies and I think it is overwhelming and scary for first time fathers, so much so that they don't want to deal with it, so they ignore it until reality hits for them, like when they feel a kick or actually hold the baby or even find out the gender. I would tell him that he should at least be asking you about it since it is important to you, he needs to start being involved. Men tend to be more self absorbed than woman too, for example my husband wants me to care about the tinniest dumbest things that I have no interest in, but when I try to tell him about little things I care about, he is like, honey, that is your thing and I really don't care about it, even though he gets all upset when I do that to him!
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Answered by a member - Oct. 24, 2012 8:11am
Yes, I would be upset, only for the simple fact that although a prenatal appointment may not be super exciting, its still important and at least nice for your husband to acknowledge the fact you had an appointment and to ask out of politeness how it went. I just would have mentioned to him it would have been nice to have been asked.
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Answered by mamabear101 - Oct. 23, 2012 11:53pm
I had a few of those moments but things changed as soon as my son was born. I feel like guys can't fully understand the pregnancy like women do.
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Answered by a member - Oct. 23, 2012 11:03pm
my husband doesnt get excited (or even ask) unless its an important test being done or an ultrasound. its alot different for men then it is for women, my husband really doesnt wanna hear about me peeing in a cup and having my blood pressure checked. i do let him know what the heart rate was each visit and what my fundal height is, so now if i dont mention it he will ask about those things,,,so dont feel bad, it really is a guy thing. they dont tend to connect to the baby as much until they can actually see/feel him.
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Answered by madijoh - Oct. 23, 2012 9:37pm
Sounds kinda like a silly thing to be upset about. It's hard for guys to get excited about a prenatal appointment... hell, it's hard for ME to be excited about it. It's only fun if we get to hear the heart beat or do an ultrasound.
And at this point there isn't really much he can do about the pregnancy. Of course he's happy and excited about it, I'm sure you don't have doubts on that. But it's a completely different experience for you then it is for him. :)
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Answered by Bostonmama08 - Oct. 23, 2012 7:37pm
My husband does that to me quite often in all aspects. His list of "important" is not like mine....and something I deem important he may not. He isn't doing it on purpose to be mean or spiteful, but it sure does piss me off!
If I was in your shoes, you're darn right I'd be upset. This wasn't just a dental check-up....this was your prenatal checkup. If my husband did that, I'd be UBER pissed. But again, his brain doesn't function like mine....and men sometimes really are stupid....in more ways than one.
You're justified in your position for sure. He shouldn't be making jokes about it either. He had a "selfish moment".....and men have a lot of those.
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Answered by janastep73 - Oct. 23, 2012 5:31pm
I would be upset too, but then I have to realize that the baby probably isn't on his mind 24/7 like it is ours. I don't think he's being selfish or inconsiderate...men just have one track minds. Of course I'm saying this when I'm feeling normal, hormonally, and my husband hasn't done anything to piss me off in the last 15 minutes. :-D
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Answered by momtobe1992 - Oct. 23, 2012 4:55pm
Don't worry, my DH does the same EVERY-DAY! lol. My DH loves his job, and he can go on and on about taxes and other stuff I don't know about(he's an accountant). I tend to hear him out even if he forgets to ask how my day was. When I remind him to ask me how his day was then he starts joking around. I get upset at that time but I forget about it later on. Usually he doesn't go to my appointments, I just tell him myself that I went to my appointment today, that's when he asks me how it went etc. If your DH forgets to ask just tell him you went to your appointment and tell him how it went even though he doesn't ask. I hope this helps! :)
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Answered by LalaRiley - Oct. 23, 2012 4:14pm
I don't want to say you are over reacting, but try not to get too worked up about it. You know he was working and you can tell he is excited about his job and how things went. It sounds like he just wanted to tell you all about it when it was still fresh in his mind. As far as making jokes, he might still be stressing out about this pregnancy, especially if its his first child. I know guys use jokes to ease tension a lot, and if you were mad from the time you got home, he could probably tell and was trying to disarm you. Just relax and realize that hormones will make you mad a lot, but you have to let your husband continue to be excited about things outside the pregnancy. If it is more of a consistent thing from him, where he is ALWAYS focused on his own stuff and never seems to care about your day, then maybe bring it up and ask him to be more considerate. Good luck and I hope everything gets better for you!
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