Need Advice? Ask Your Question

Questions & Answers

Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by mommykayjr

Q: How should i handle a family member NOT wanting to know our baby's sex when WE are finding out?

so i guess the source of my stress these days is worrying about my mother in law not wanting to know the sex of our baby until it's born. my problem is she is on my facebook and she is the ONLY person who is VerY adamant about not knowing. but me and my husband are Definitely finding out, 4 more days!!! and i'm excited to announce it on facebook and to the rest of my family because eeeeeeeeeeeeverybody else wants to know! i don't want to feel like i'm walking on eggshells my entire pregnancy, trying not to slip up when she's around. i just keep thinking, we're going to be buying things, and i'm going to be posting pictures. and what about my baby shower? i mean i'm so excited i can't even ThinK straight and this is just something i CAN'T keep a secret, it's too big. i just wonder if i'm making this out to be bigger than it really is? am i stressing over nothing? some mommy advice please?! xoxoxo

This question was asked Mar. 4, 2013 9:25pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Answer This Question

Answers (11)

Answered by truestar070 - Nov. 8, 2013 1:47pm

De-friend her :) That should do it

169 out of 356 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by mumma1984 - Mar. 7, 2013 11:24pm

I would find out then tell everyone on Facebook and if she reads it and complains to you just say oops I forgot you didn't want to know the sex. Silly pregnancy brain.

201 out of 401 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by Rockabump - Mar. 5, 2013 6:59pm

Facebook isn't the only way she will find out unless she hides her head n the sand. It seems odd that she would put herself in this when it's not her child. I would tell her nicely that you are finding out and if she doesn't want to know....she won't be able to join in the pregnancy festivities. You hAve a right to decide if you want to know but she does not have a right to ask you to walk on eggshells for her own selfish reasons. That is crazy and I wouldn't stress about it....her request should not cause you stress. Just lay it out there and let her make the decision to be involved or not. Good luck mama!

213 out of 431 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by janastep73 - Mar. 4, 2013 10:52pm

I would tell her that in order for her to not find out, you'll have to block her from being able to see the post on facebook where you announce and (If you're anything like me) any subsequent post/picture you put up on facebook as well as other people's comments. Or tell her to hide you until the baby is born. that way it's up to her--she has to do the work, and if she caves and looks at your profile, then it's her deal and you can't be to blame! And tell her she won't be invited to the baby shower if she REAAAAAAALLLLLLLY doesn't want to know.

Maybe I'm somewhat joking but those are the only ways I could realistically think that she wouldn't find out. I would talk to her or have your husband talk to her. Maybe tell her that you both are very excited and you want to be able to share this experience with her and that having to hide something as huge as the gender would put unneeded stress on your pregnancy, etc.

192 out of 402 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by mommykayjr - Mar. 4, 2013 9:55pm

and she specifically told me the other day i better be sure to not slip up on facebook, sooooooooo confused

202 out of 417 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by mommykayjr - Mar. 4, 2013 9:53pm

that's honestly what i was thinking. lol. should i just block her from FB for a couple weeks until all the hooplah calms down? :) cuz i'm seriously stressing over this!!! and i already made really cute it's a boy and it's a girl announcements to put up.

in case any of you have a profile, i'm at www.facebook.com/mommykayjr
:)

207 out of 404 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by Metal_Yuri - Mar. 4, 2013 9:48pm

Block her name on pictures and some post you make, she wont know. Lol

184 out of 380 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by -Lee-B - Mar. 4, 2013 9:43pm

Ok, I know this likely sounds really mean. But tell her if SHE doesn't want to find out she can go live under a rock!

YOU and your husband choose whether or not to find out and if YOU choose to find out then you can share this exciting news with those close to you and even those on facebook. It is NOT your job to keep this information from everyone else so she doesn't find out...so it is up to her to prevent herself from finding out from the many that will be happy to share this exciting news with you nad everyone else they know (likely your MIL).

195 out of 402 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by BGGirl - Mar. 4, 2013 9:40pm

That is really not her decision to make... if you and your husband really want to find out then she needs to respect that decision. I don't see why you or your DH should have to walk on eggshells to keep it a secret. If she had been pregnant and chose to not find out.. that is her decision but she can't dictate what you and your DH decide to do on YOUR pregnancy. You can tell her that if she doesn't want to know the sex of the baby, then she should definitely stay off Facebook, not discuss the baby with you or your family or come to any of the showers because you are not going to hide it from everyone else. Then it is on her to make sure that she doesn't find out if it is that big of a deal to her. I have NEVER heard of a family member acting that way and think you are in the right completely!

190 out of 380 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by stephpan - Mar. 4, 2013 9:35pm

In terms of Facebook - you could always block her from seeing the post - but ultimately there is no way she isn't going to find out - someone will spill the beans before she can tell them she doesn't want to know "Aren't you so excited to have a grandson!" "Jack and Jill must be so excited to have a little girl on the way"

Maybe - as nicely as you can - explain that you are going to find out and a lot of other people want to know, so you'll try to not have her find out - but you can't guarantee it!

195 out of 406 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answer This Question

You are not logged in.
Log in or Register to post an answer to this question.

Other Questions in Relationships During Pregnancy