Answered by bdawn8403 - Apr. 1, 2013 5:07pm
Interesting that you won't allow the grandmother of the baby see it just because she knew what was going on and saw it once but you will allow the father who was abusing you be around it. Thats sad and incredibly backwards thinking.
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Answered by a member - Mar. 25, 2013 1:45am
The previous comment on here is frustrating to read because it's sad to think there are lots of people being ridiculous and using their children as pawns. Please be smart and do not take that advice, don't be bitter over something you could have stopped by leaving him. There is nothing his mother could have done to prevent the abuse you went through. Nothing. If you couldn't stop him from abusing you then I assure you he won't listen to his mother either. I understand why you would be angry with her completely but that doesn't mean she wouldn't make an excellent grandmother who would love you baby.
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Answered by edwina2021 - Mar. 24, 2013 1:10pm
SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO THE CHILD! Watching and doing nothing is as bad as doing it your self. You can forgive your husband and work things out because you had a child together and he will always be there. When my child comes my father and his wife will not be in my babys life and they can yell and threatn me all they want. What it comes down to is can you trust that person to watch the angel and take care of him/her... You can legally have it to where she cant be around your child even if the baby is visiting the father or with the father. The courts can easyly grant that. But your child dad would have to follow that also. And if he cant then you may have to have both of them out of the child life till they can see that its unfit to have the grandmother around.
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 3:14pm
It's complicated because you forgave the person who beat you, and he can be around your child....but the grandmother cannot. This is how a judge might look at it.
Legally, you can't keep her from seeing your son, unless she is deemed unfit or a danger to the child. You didn't say she was.....and your only problem with her is that she didn't stick by you or come to your defense when your boyfriend was beating the sh*t out of you.
This is quite a situation you've gotten yourself in to. I am sad for you that you have no self-respect to leave that person who beat you repeatedly....and now have to be attached to those memories tied by a child for the rest of your life.
There is not much you can do legally....because you are allowing the father to be a part of the child's life. If you don't believe me, contact a lawyer and he/she will tell you the same.
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 2:54pm
If you are in the states, I believe they do have something called grandparental rights that she can pursue - In Canada, there is no such thing - I know, my Mother tried using that on me when she kidnapped my daughter 8 years ago and told me that there was nothing I could do about it. (Yeah, right)
Also, I wanted to add - even though everything is good with your baby's father now, there is nothing stopping him from returning to his usual antics once that baby is out of your womb. I would suggest that you look out for not only yourself but for that unborn child as well. You need to be a strong woman in this circumstance - I am speaking from experience - once I kicked the garbage to the curb where it belonged, I was able to find my amazing husband.
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 10:50am
Errr your partner beat u 2 the point u saw stars and ur worrying over his mother? I had a very similar situation but darlin jus cuz he en hurt in in a year don't mean he won't he will never change men like that don't. I know. Yes u hate his mom cuz she didn't help but ur still with him having his baby playing happy family's if u can 4give the nasty Man U love for 100x worse then his mother maby you should bring a clean slate to the whole family who were involved in the situation because if he kicks off again social will give the baby to one of the grandparents. A mothers love can make her blind to a child's faults or make excuses deep down she knows.
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Answered by barbi1006 - Mar. 23, 2013 12:46am
My situation is different, but I completely understand mother in law issues. While I do not want her around my child, she is still my husband's mother, and will always be a part of our lives. What you may want to consider is taking control over the situation. If your husband is going to sneak the baby to see his mother, maybe consider inviting her over while you are there. Be present so you don't feel like she can be manipulative in any way. If you feel like you can, talk to her about it. After years of issues with my mother in law, my husband told me to tell her what was on my mind. Let me tell you, that was liberating! I realize there are probably a lot of hurt feelings all the way around, but its hard for anyone to heal without talking about it. No matter what you decide, I am sure you will make the best decision for you and your baby. I wish you the best of luck!
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 12:24am
Part 2. I'm NOT giving granny an excuse to think that way but she probably underestimates just how bad it was for you. It also sounds like she is old school to the point of being very unhealthy in terms of how men should treat women. I think you two need to sit down and have a heart to heart. I also think your hubby should be there for that conversation. Even if the agreement you come to is not ever speaking to each other I think it is still essential that you foster a relationship between grandma and grandson/granddaughter. Remember, just because she isn't a fan of you, doesn't mean she won't shower this little baby with lots of love! I hope this helps a little:)
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 12:15am
I'm baffled that nobody has stated the obvious. This is her grandchild hon, regardless how she feels about you or how you feel about her doesn't really matter. If you choose to keep your child away from his/her grandmother it will come to bite you in the butt. Your child will grow to resent you for it. Unless she wishes to do harm to your child I think it would be best for your child to have as many people in his/her life that will love him/her to bits, don't you? And second, pleeease don't think I'm judging, I have a friend who went through physical abuse and also chose to stay with her husband so trust me, I'm not judging. I think when a woman chooses to stay in an abusive relationship for whatever reason it confuses the people around her and unfortunately sometimes leads to people finding it hard to believe that the abuse is all that bad or is even happening. I think perhaps his grandma fell into this category. Part 1
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Answered by a member - Mar. 23, 2013 12:01am
Actually, I read that the grandparents have no legal right unless it is proven that the parents aren't capable of taking care of their child and are unfit parents.
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