Questions & Answers

yes, my childhood was not my favorite like others do. but why? because my parents want me all the time like what they want. thats why i was fed up with them.
so, my suggestion to you that let them be what they like, thats it.

So you know why she's been like that, it's a horrible thought that she may have been treating you like that just because she got that treatment.
It must of made you feel very un wanted and loved by her :(.
Becoming a mum you're self has pushed it to the front of you're mind more, and I'm not surprised.
Glad you've got a good father though, have you ever asked my why he thinks she has been that way other than just because her mum was like it.
You're grandma was from a very different time to us, i think the face she was cold shows she must of had a strict upbringing herself probably full of disapline and punishments.
I think what the others has said is right and maybe therapy would help you.
My son was screwed up for a few years thanks to living with my parents till he was 7.
All we did was scream at each other as she constantly interfered in his up bringing. He now sees her faults at nearly 17.

My mom was raised exactly like she raised us. My grandmother was and is a very good UN caring woman. She never shows any emotions and has nothing to say unless it's negative. I have much more of a bond with my dad. He has never laid a hand on us and is constantly telling me he is proud of me and loves me. I never had that mother figure and I feel it's catching up to me because I have always wanted it.

I think you have to try and look at you're life with you're NEW family is not about what you're parents want or think is good or bad. This is you're life now and they don't have any say in what you chose to do.
They've already shown you how not to raise children.
You need to try to stop trying to make them proud, they seem very difficult ppl who don't deserve you're attention in that way.
They'll just push you more away from them as you get older and it sounds like they've alway been doing this to you so they're not going to change.
It's hard when it's you're parents and you love them even though they upset up endlessly.
You def have to try something that will seperate you're mind from what they say to you, they clearly have no clue that they have been causeing a form of a abuse onto they child all these years or don't care.
Do you know if their parents was like that with them.

I agree with other posters who've mentioned therapy. I had an abusive childhood that resulted in me not wanting to have children because my fear of repeating what was done to me was so strong. I waited until I was 37 (and then needed fertility treatments because of my age :\ ) to try to conceive with my amazing, kind, gentle husband. But when I was 34, I went to a counselor and said I want to work through my childhood because I might want to be a mom and I can't repeat the mistakes of the past. My counselor was the best. She worked with me for over a year and I can't even believe how I grew from the experience. I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner when I was younger because a whole part of my life would have been better for it.
I'm expecting my first now and the way I look at my childhood is that what happened to me taught me what NOT to do and if I do exactly the opposite, I'll be a great mother :)
Good luck to you. Sounds like you're on the right track just by being aware.

Thanks everyone. I am already 10x the mother mine ever was but it still scares me. My parents our good to my children and that's all I could ask for I guess. I have only ever known screaming and hitting but it makes me feel so much better that my children do not and never will! I have talked to my hubby about seeing a counselor and he is willing to support me with any decision I make. That's all I can ask for :)

*mom, it cut me off

I honestly feel your pain. My mother was and is emotionally abusive. When I was younger she was physically abusive. I could have had it worse, but nonetheless, she was. She is always on my case because I will not allow her to be alone with my son. She has even tried to threaten to take me to court. I know she wouldn't be able to, but it does hurt. I stopped trying to please her when I moved out of her house. I have told her how I feel about her and the things she has put me through. Needless to say, we don't have much of a relationship anymore. I told her if she tries to change, I will put an effort forward as well. She doesn't see anything wrong. When I was pregnant with my son I would cry to my husband that I was scared I would be like her. He said, "It will never happen. Know how I know? You are so worried that you are crying about it. You will always be aware of what she would do and you will do the opposite." I hope this helps, I am sure you are and will remain a great m

I watched my dad beat my mother almost daily, then he walked out on my 7th birthday...I've tried and tried to get him in my life, just to be let down all the time. I was never physically abused, but I've often been afraid I could take out my frustrations or things I've seen out on my kids. I think the difference is that you see what they do, and know it is wrong...most people who are abusive don't think they are doing any wrong and refuse to see if for what it is. I've deleted my father's # out of my phone, after he missed my birthday - I have to sever that cord. I don't need my kids around him, he is a drug user/dealer and always has been. You'll make the right choices for you and your family, because you have goodness in your heart. You aren't them, otherwise you wouldn't be afraid of becoming them. Chin up, I have NO doubt you are a wonderful mother!!! :-)

I too have come from a very abusive childhood and its not easy to go through the healing process. I decided some time ago to seek therapy because in order to be a healthy parent you have to be a healthy individual. You also have to realize that your parents are who they are and stop trying to please them and love yourself they don't even know how to give you what you need. I deal with my parents in small doses and have no expectations of them. Work on you and celebrate yourself. You are in my prayers. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. Take care