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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by alison

Q: I sense some negativity from my mother in law. Seems a bit aggravating to hear.

I've chosen "The very Hungry caterpillar as the theme for the nursery." The walls are yellow and my mother in law made the valances and crib skirt to match out of green fabric. It coordinates and it was cheaper than the licensed Eric Carle fabric. She has taken it upon herself to make a pastel pink flannel blanket - I've seen it and don't like it. She use to make comments about how it would look really pretty in the nursery. However, I'm not liking the idea of pink or mixing pastels with bright colors. She's also commented about never liking the color green or the baby not liking or will be afraid of the caterpillar. I've mentioned the baby won't know the difference during the baby years and kids learn to be afraid of things from other people.
I am 40 years old and seem to be having a healthy pregnancy, I would like to have a 2nd child if possible. My mother inlaw states that I shouldn't have another child unless we adopt due to my age.
Any advice about how to deal with n

This question was asked Aug. 13, 2014 3:58pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by Tiffany01 - Aug. 22, 2014 3:02pm

this king of attitude sometimes come from mother in law.
but you should make up for this kind of situation or you can live alone with your hasband.
i think this will be better for you.
be happy at this time.

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Answered by alison - Aug. 13, 2014 7:23pm

Thanks for all the wonderful words of wisdom. I appreciate it greatly

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Answered by lyssa7872 - Aug. 13, 2014 6:42pm

You can never have too many blankets :) My advise, the things I've found that work with my MIL is to keep it positive. Spin it so everyone is happy. Like with the blanket - it's a great gift, but you can choose when and how to use it, just don't cast it off as nothing or it can hurt feelings and make things worse. With the second baby thing I would say - eh, I'll talk to the doc and go from there. I only have some years left, so might as well go for it now before I'm "old" :P. With the colors, good thing she doesn't live there ;). Spin. It. lol it's hard for me to give my MIL crap, as my husband says, but it really does work the best. It keeps her realizing that I'm the decision maker along with her son. Not her.

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Answered by Mommyuv3 - Aug. 13, 2014 6:36pm

My husband's mother unfortunately passed before we even met so can't comment on that, however, I am 41 and expecting my 3rd in April. I also dealt with many people questioning my choice of multiple children "at my age". Mostly I just ignored them but I also talked about I would evaluate at each pregnancy. My thoughts were if I was healthy and my pregnancies didn't have complications there was no reason not to get pregnant again. It's alwas hard to stay positive when you have people questioning your choices but it is your choice and something only you and your husband should make a final decision on.

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Answered by HzlGreenEyes - Aug. 13, 2014 5:13pm

My past relationship, my bf mother was the same way. I took it with a grain of salt... she is Half Sicilian and Half Naples/Italian so she is very strong willed but when I made my points she had nothing to say. I say pick your battles. Just keep the blanket out of site if you don't like it!

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Answered by Sianny - Aug. 13, 2014 4:34pm

Same as I do with mine who I love and hate all at the same time. She tried to buy my son his first bike and didn't understand when we said no because the first bike is a big deal.
For the sake of a quiet life I'm polite but firm when I say no or if I have to say 'well this is what we want' with a smile and anything she says that annoys me I just let slide off like water off a ducks back.
Also you're going to get gifts you don't like that you'll have to accept and find a place for it, like the pink blanky.
Honestly all you can do is realise she isn't some authority you can't say no to, be firm but polite and she can't complain about your choices. Also be honest, if she offends you then sit her down like you would a friend and tell her straight and in a friendly manner that you understand her opinions but this is something you and your partner will decide.
At the end of the day she's your MIL and not going anywhere.

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