Answered by randeei - Sep. 9, 2014 12:54pm
It is a hard position you are in trying to be a 'good' sister. I have alcoholism in my family and after years if therapy have learned that no matter what you do or say the alcoholic with always be the victim and everyone else the bad guy. She does suffer a disease but that doesn't entitle her to treat other poorly and you have the right to not be disrespected and degraded. As for your guilt, I think it is normal but your right not functional. She makes her choices as you make yours Don't feel guilty for making the right ones for your life and your family. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and trying to save the day for my family and eventually I realized we all do these things to ourselves. Hopefully, she will eventually see that her choices might be the reason for these losses and make some great changes in her life! Hope that doesn't sound harsh but I have dealt with alcoholism in the family and from managing in a bar for 10+ years, so I'm jaded by the lack of responsibility taken
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Answered by Papas~Mama - Sep. 8, 2014 4:35pm
very frustrating.
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Answered by Papas~Mama - Sep. 8, 2014 4:34pm
Thanks girls. I've chosen over the years to just not speak to her because nearly every time I do she says something hurtful or puts me down severely. So I've chosen to separate myself from her negativity, for my own sanity's sake. Regardless of the situation, she has a way of always turning herself into the victim. Long story short, we don't talk. Well, last night she pulled another "poor me." Like I said in my original post, yesterday was her birthday, and in the beginning of this post, I mentioned that we don't speak. I've told her before that we don't speak every other day of the year, so there's absolutely no reason for us to speak on holidays or birthdays, it's extremely hypocritical. She was hateful the day before, and she's gonna be nasty the day after! Out of the blue yesterday she calls me on HER birthday. I immediately recognized it as another attempt to victimize herself.."she didn't call me on my birthday so she's the one who's being nasty..." It was ver
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Answered by darladybug - Sep. 8, 2014 11:59am
My brother is a severe alcoholic, even though the situation obviously isn't the same he has always blamed me for his failings. Every time I succeed, I am trying to hurt him he thinks. It is the disease, it isn't you. I know you know that but it helps to hear it. It is so hard to understand it sometimes.
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Answered by fiveplus - Sep. 8, 2014 12:45am
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Its hard to want better for someone when they don't want it for themselves. I understand she really wants a baby but for her to be the best mother she can be she really needs to get her issues worked out first. I'm not passing judgement at all but I know what its like growing up with a mother with a bad drinking problem. Long story short, I ended up along with my siblings living with my grandparents. Maybe its God telling her she's not ready to be a mother. Maybe when she gets herself together God will bless her with a baby. Try to stay positive and enjoy your pregnancy, I know its hard because she's your sister but she has to want to get better. I'll pray for your family!
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