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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by taragaby

Q: Do I have a right to be upset and offended?

My son passed away 3 years ago aged 21 months from cancer. His things are in my bedroom at my parents house. My cousin's wife is staying at my parents' house (in my room) and told me yesterday taht initailly she did not want to stay in my room because of any negativity but had no choice as her kids chose to stay in the other spare room. She then proceeded to assume that the raeson she infact was sleeping ok in teh room was because the following day she found out that I was pregnant again. She is one of those self rightous religious types and was telling me Sh*t that I would somehow connect better with God and then I woudl find peace. I tried telling her that my son's thing do NOT bother me - but she just talks and talks and never takes a moment to listen to you. Am I being too sensitive about her negativity comment? It is really bothering me and has upset me...

This question was asked Jul. 31, 2015 8:05am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (5)

Answered by taragaby - Aug. 4, 2015 5:36am

Thank you all for reading/responding to my little rant...I was really upset - and all your comments really helped - much valued. I was truly blessed to have been able to enjoy my son. Thank you again!

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Answered by PaperHeart - Aug. 1, 2015 5:51pm

For some reason, there's rampant but very wrong impression that, if we love God and, more importantly, if we trust Him, we won't experience grief or sadness or anxiety or worry or fear or any of those bad things. That's absolutely untrue. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane was so troubled that He sweated drops of blood from His pores. Will anyone accuse Him of unbelief? Certainly not. Your cousin's wife may be well-meaning, but that doesn't excuse being hurtful or being downright wrong about God and grief. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son and for the thoughtless way your cousin's wife has addressed your pain.

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Answered by Amanda_McDaniel - Aug. 1, 2015 1:02pm

I agree. There are just some people who cannot hear how they sound and don't put a lot of aforethought into the junk coming out of their mouths. Every family has at least one, unfortunately. As long as she doesn't think it's okay to move his things from where you've put them, just ignore her as much as you can.

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Answered by HzlGreenEyes - Jul. 31, 2015 7:41pm

I would say, let it roll off your shoulders. I have come to terms with my SIL that she will say some ridiculous things. That is just the way they are and getting upset at someone who doesn't mean harm, they just don't know how NOT to come across negatively. Don't stress yourself over her insensitive statements... it's definitely not worth the aggravation. I still have to stop my mom from over reacting to my SIL's comments... they really don't think they are being insensitive. You are very blessed to have gotten to spend time with your little angel! And you are blessed to have this new baby growing in you. GOD Bless!

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Answered by taragaby - Jul. 31, 2015 8:07am

Just to clarify - I am quite a religious person myself - it's just her self righteousness that is REALLY annoying

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