kCharleneS's Pregnancy

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Wow
By kCharleneS » Posted Jan. 31, 2013 9:08pm - 332 views - 3 comments

So I just got off the phone with my sister. Turns out she's pregnant now too. Now don't get me wrong, I love her and am so happy for her, but at the same time I'm kinda jealous and angry. When I was pregnant last time, I didn't celebrate it or anything. I didn't want any attention on me at all and was ashamed. There were hardly any pictures of me taken my own mom wasn't allowed to touch my belly nothing because I was 17 and embarrassed. With this pregnancy, since I'm older and on my own, not a teenager, been with the same guy for 3 years, and been taking care of my son well for 4, I was really enjoying having the attention on me for a change. I was finally gonna get a baby shower that I didn't get to have last time around, my family was excited, my friend's were excited. It was nice with it being just me. Now everyone's gonna have their attention on her because it's her first pregnancy and all. This make me sound so selfish and rude, but I just can't help it. This is the first time in my life I've wanted the attention and it's now gonna be gone. It just sucks. But I am looking forward for my baby to have a cousin who is so close in age to her. And I know my sister is gonna be a great mom. I hate how selfish I'm feeling. :-( She deserves to have the attention on her but no matter how much I know that and keep telling myself that I just can't help feeling the way that I do. I know she didn't get pregnant on purpose so I know she's not TRYING to make me feeling this way or that we're competing or anything, so why I can't just be happy for her and just be content?

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from kCharleneS » Posted Feb. 1, 2013 12:03pm Thank you ladies. I'm trying my hardest not to let things like this get to me because I know that she's gonna need me and I also am excited for her to have a baby. It's nice to know that I'm not a horrible person for thinking these things. You ladies really did make me feel better.
	Comment from nesssicle » Posted Feb. 1, 2013 8:51am Aw dont worry, id feel the same way. If one of my sisters or cousins got pregnant right now, id probably guiltily feel a little upset too. I think most ladies want the attention just on them! The attention will still be on you because you are further along and everyone will be just as excited when your little one comes! Dont let this get you down, and enjoy your pregnancy no matter what else is going on!
	Comment from sunshinebear711 » Posted Feb. 1, 2013 7:41am *hug* Don't feel bad. It says something about you if you are having the feelings and recognizing that they might make you seem selfish, but you know what? They are your feelings! I felt the same way when my cousin-in-law got pregnant last year while we were ttc. They hadn't even been trying and boom, there were twins. When they lost them at 23 weeks, it was very sad. Then I got pregnant and had to spend my whole pregnancy walking on eggshells around them because the wife is still grieving a year later. Yes it is very sad, but at the same time I was upset that I couldn't celebrate and be so excited like I wanted to be because I had to be so aware of her feelings and the feelings of my inlaws. *hug* There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. You want everything to be special. Nothing wrong with it.