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dakara's Pregnancy
My Due Date: June 30, 2014I have given birth!
Age: 33 years old
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Monthly Midwife Visit
By dakara » Posted Jan. 9, 2014 9:20pm - 262 views - 0 comments
Saw the midwife today. It was one of the shorter visits, but that's pretty much a good thing. Still losing weight, but the baby has a healthy heartbeat and was moving around during the visit, so she doesn't think it's much of a problem, especially since the fundus is where she expected it to be. She estimates that the baby is probably growing on track, and we'll plan an ultrasound for next month (at 20 weeks) since we'll definitely be able to see the sex at that point, not to mention it gives us a little time to get the genetic testing done.
On the one hand, I don't want to get any done because I'm scared I'll learn the baby has a terrible condition and will die a painful death, and that... Just, no. Depending on the quality of life (or death, really) the child would have, I would probably get an abortion, but I really, really don't want to. I already really love this baby and want the best for it, and I know that if it's a really painful death, I'd want an abortion before the baby is really able to feel and process it. I'm just scared that I wouldn't be able to make that decision, and I'd keep it and put my baby through a horrible situation. But... I'm supposed to go get the tests done on Monday, and I'll probably go. No, I will. I'm just really scared. :( There's no reason to suspect anything; I'm healthy, the father is healthy, there's no real history of anything on either side, but I'm still really concerned. :(
Besides, we need to get it done by Monday (ish) so we have time if the results come back indicating that we need to do an amnio. We could theoretically do the MaterniT21 test, but Medicaid doesn't cover all of it, and I can't afford the copay.
I still haven't told my mother that I'm pregnant. I told my job, I told my friends, but I just don't know how to tell her. I'm scared she'll be judgey, because that's just the kind of person that she is, and I just don't want to deal with it. Ugh, that's the next thing I need to plan...
My Journal
Monthly Midwife Visit
By dakara » Posted Jan. 9, 2014 9:20pm - 262 views - 0 comments
Saw the midwife today. It was one of the shorter visits, but that's pretty much a good thing. Still losing weight, but the baby has a healthy heartbeat and was moving around during the visit, so she doesn't think it's much of a problem, especially since the fundus is where she expected it to be. She estimates that the baby is probably growing on track, and we'll plan an ultrasound for next month (at 20 weeks) since we'll definitely be able to see the sex at that point, not to mention it gives us a little time to get the genetic testing done.
On the one hand, I don't want to get any done because I'm scared I'll learn the baby has a terrible condition and will die a painful death, and that... Just, no. Depending on the quality of life (or death, really) the child would have, I would probably get an abortion, but I really, really don't want to. I already really love this baby and want the best for it, and I know that if it's a really painful death, I'd want an abortion before the baby is really able to feel and process it. I'm just scared that I wouldn't be able to make that decision, and I'd keep it and put my baby through a horrible situation. But... I'm supposed to go get the tests done on Monday, and I'll probably go. No, I will. I'm just really scared. :( There's no reason to suspect anything; I'm healthy, the father is healthy, there's no real history of anything on either side, but I'm still really concerned. :(
Besides, we need to get it done by Monday (ish) so we have time if the results come back indicating that we need to do an amnio. We could theoretically do the MaterniT21 test, but Medicaid doesn't cover all of it, and I can't afford the copay.
I still haven't told my mother that I'm pregnant. I told my job, I told my friends, but I just don't know how to tell her. I'm scared she'll be judgey, because that's just the kind of person that she is, and I just don't want to deal with it. Ugh, that's the next thing I need to plan...
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