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ThatNerdyMartinLady's Pregnancy
My Due Date: November 26, 2015I have given birth!
Age: 35 years old
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In-law rant
By ThatNerdyMartinLady » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 7:44am - 376 views - 9 comments
I have been needing to rant a little, and I'm sure there's no better place to rant about such things as here, with my sisters in pregnancydom.
I had to go to a dinner with my MIL and GMIL Wednesday and have been just irritated since and I can't seem to shake it.
First, let me preface this by saying my husband's grandmother is COO COO BANANAS and pushy, and has to have her way in all things. She has stated to my face the baby will have curly hair and long legs like her, while I just sit there all 5'2" with my slick straight hair. Wednesday she said to me, and I am exact quoting, "I hope you know you'll have constant visitors and we'll be passing her around like a hot potato". This is very upsetting to me, as I will have JUST GIVEN BIRTH and I'll be learning how to breastfeed. I think she thinks she's going to just camp out in our room. Luckily I have already discussed with DH and he is prepared to be the bad guy if he has to. It just runs all over me what she feels she's entitled to.
Plus I am terrified of porcelain dolls and she was the only one who not only got us a porcelain doll but one that moves and plays music. I plan to accidentally drop it.
On to MIL. I love MIL, but she is also pushy. I don't think she realizes she is, I think in herind she's just trying to help. But at this same awful dinner (which DH couldn't attend because he's on second shift now) she says to me I should ask the doctor to induce me early like Casey did so I could enjoy thanksgiving dinner. First of all, Casey (a family friend) made the decision she thought was best for her family, that is fine, but my pregnancy is not Casey's. I kind of bluntly told her I would not be having an induction just to be convenient to everyone else and that Lily would come when she was ready. I probably won't be going to thanksgiving dinner since I will have stitches most likely, be bleeding heavily, and still getting used to breastfeeding. Thanksgiving is literally the last thing I am worried about at this point.
I know they also plan to come "help" after Lily is born, and I've been told I will appreciate all the help I will get. But I also dread it because MIL is the cleanest neat freak I've ever met, and my house is clean but also looks like someone lives there. She is bad for just absentmindly rearranging my cannisters and refolding my kitchen towels while she visits, and can only imagine if she is given free range to my entire house. I may not be able to find anything.
Gosh that was long. So sorry ladies, just needed to get that out. It's been one of those weeks.
My Journal
In-law rant
By ThatNerdyMartinLady » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 7:44am - 376 views - 9 comments
I have been needing to rant a little, and I'm sure there's no better place to rant about such things as here, with my sisters in pregnancydom.
I had to go to a dinner with my MIL and GMIL Wednesday and have been just irritated since and I can't seem to shake it.
First, let me preface this by saying my husband's grandmother is COO COO BANANAS and pushy, and has to have her way in all things. She has stated to my face the baby will have curly hair and long legs like her, while I just sit there all 5'2" with my slick straight hair. Wednesday she said to me, and I am exact quoting, "I hope you know you'll have constant visitors and we'll be passing her around like a hot potato". This is very upsetting to me, as I will have JUST GIVEN BIRTH and I'll be learning how to breastfeed. I think she thinks she's going to just camp out in our room. Luckily I have already discussed with DH and he is prepared to be the bad guy if he has to. It just runs all over me what she feels she's entitled to.
Plus I am terrified of porcelain dolls and she was the only one who not only got us a porcelain doll but one that moves and plays music. I plan to accidentally drop it.
On to MIL. I love MIL, but she is also pushy. I don't think she realizes she is, I think in herind she's just trying to help. But at this same awful dinner (which DH couldn't attend because he's on second shift now) she says to me I should ask the doctor to induce me early like Casey did so I could enjoy thanksgiving dinner. First of all, Casey (a family friend) made the decision she thought was best for her family, that is fine, but my pregnancy is not Casey's. I kind of bluntly told her I would not be having an induction just to be convenient to everyone else and that Lily would come when she was ready. I probably won't be going to thanksgiving dinner since I will have stitches most likely, be bleeding heavily, and still getting used to breastfeeding. Thanksgiving is literally the last thing I am worried about at this point.
I know they also plan to come "help" after Lily is born, and I've been told I will appreciate all the help I will get. But I also dread it because MIL is the cleanest neat freak I've ever met, and my house is clean but also looks like someone lives there. She is bad for just absentmindly rearranging my cannisters and refolding my kitchen towels while she visits, and can only imagine if she is given free range to my entire house. I may not be able to find anything.
Gosh that was long. So sorry ladies, just needed to get that out. It's been one of those weeks.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from pbc910 » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 11:13am God love family right but sometimes people just don't get it. Of course everyone wants to see a new baby and hold a new baby but they don't want to realize what mom and dad/partner have just gone through, especially mom! I've told my entire family and coworkers that I do not want any visitors the day these babies arrive. Once we are settled the next, come one, come all! I will be telling the nurse that. I know it's hard sometimes to have to lay down the law with family, in laws especially, but in the end, it's just about you, DH, and baby. |
 | Comment from miniray » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 10:12am I would definitely let the nurses know that you want to limit access for certain family members, hopefully they'll be more than willing to oblige by telling the odd lie and/or refusing them entry to the ward. Just because that's probably what happened to them, doesn't mean you have to put with it. Good that your hubby is willing to be the bad guy :-) |
 | Comment from Kitten90 » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:57am Yep, my daughter that was born last year was due on Thanksgiving but she ended up being born Nov 19th, and I definitely did NOT attend any family dinners lol. I was in pretty rough shape the first three weeks. I stopped bleeding at 2.5 weeks.. my episiotomy stitches never hurt me at all, I had a urethral tear that was pure agony for almost 2 weeks though. As far as while you are in the hospital, you can let the nurses know who is allowed and not allowed and they will keep people out. Definitely don't be afraid to put your foot down! |
| Comment from ThatNerdyMartinLady » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:47am MalPal, that sounds like we're on the same boat! Who wants to "get out of the house" that soon after having a major medical procedure done?! Do people say that to other people who just got out of the hospital?? And ericalee, I can almost guarantee my mama bear will come out, I feel her scratching at the door enough as it is sometimes haha! |
 | Comment from ericalee » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:31am I could go on forever about my MIL. She's SOMETHING. If you and DH have had the convo and he is prepared to be the bad guy, I think that's so important. You two need to be on the same team. What was most annoying about all the "helpers" visiting after my daughter was born is that they really just wanted to help with holding Elle... who was basically attached to my boob 24/7. And they just wanted to TALK. I was exhausted, hungry, and uncomfortable. I would be pointed about what you need help with. Like a hot meal, washing some clothes for you, or even taking over on baby duties for 2 hours so you both can get solid sleep. You are still grateful for the help, but YOU are the one who just had a baby and YOU are the one who should call the shots on what YOU need. Not them. You might find your mama bear self comes out more once Lily arrives. |
 | Comment from MalPal85 » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:20am Sorry about the annoying dinner. I'm in the same boat you are except for Christmas rather than Thanksiving since I'm due 12/23/15. My sister-in-law keeps telling me that I'll want to get out of the house. I told her "we'll see." I told my husband that if these baby comes right around Christmas I'm not traveling to everyone's house like we usually do. If people want to see us they can come to us. I love my MIL too and she is very helpful but she can pushy at times as well. My own mother is the clean neat freak but she knows me well enough to know what to do and what not to do. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell people to leave us the hell alone the first week when my hubby is there before going back to work. |
| Comment from Chantal » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:15am Haha doesn't matter as long as you and your family have privacy and can learn to nurse in peace! It was all the stress that I ended up formula feeding my son. Atleast your DH is on your side.. |
| Comment from ThatNerdyMartinLady » Posted Oct. 2, 2015 8:07am a 1 week old being naughty?! I'm with you on that one, wtf?! Yeah we have been discussing it, I am very lucky that DH is on my side with this and has agreed to be up front with our need for privacy. I've already discussed it with my side of the family, and they've been completely understanding. We're trying to nip it in the bud, I may not say it so nicely the day I have her! lol |
